As Alex Wickham approaches the end of his time as Playbook editor, one gets the sense that his SW1 diplomacy skills are beginning to fade. This morning Patrick Maguire – editor of The Times Red Box – received a glowing endorsement for his rival morning newsletter from Matt Chorley, including the less-than-subtle dig that it’s “unencumbered by being too close to No10.”
If you're not reading @patrickkmaguire's Red Box every morning, you're missing out.
— Matt Chorley (@MattChorley) May 20, 2022
Concise, smart, funny, unencumbered by being too close to No10.
It's so good, the FT have launched a carbon copy of it
Latest one: https://t.co/HFpSffgx7D
Subscribe https://t.co/9X3raNDYWa pic.twitter.com/IbNZNyeD27
A dig Wiki couldn’t take lying down…
another tweet! You’re obsessed. Certainly makes a difference from all your texts begging to go into my runners and riders. Is that cos you’re desperate for a different job or to still appear relevant?
— Alex Wickham (@alexwickham) May 20, 2022
Chorley walked straight into Wiki’s trap, however, denying ever asking to be included in a runners and rider’s list. Thankfully Alex had the receipts…
thanks and all the best pic.twitter.com/6S1jbrXctn
— Alex Wickham (@alexwickham) May 20, 2022
Guido’s surprised to see Matt Chorley severing ties with Politico in this way – as co-conspirators will be aware he was considered a prime front runner to replace Wiki, as per Guido’s runners and riders list. Alas it wasn’t to be…
No one was happier to see Jolyon apologise yesterday than Matt Hancock. A few hours after Jolyon admitted he and the Good Law Project didn’t actually, win their case, Hancock released his own statement on Twitter “welcoming” Jolyon’s apology and encouraging the “discredited” Project to accept their legal fights are “a waste of the court’s time“. Inevitably teeing up this week’s bitch fight…
I welcome this apology. The discredited Good Law Project's increasingly vexatious legal actions are a waste of court time. https://t.co/HgvxKNHwNp pic.twitter.com/YuLA1rZUN7
— Matt Hancock (@MattHancock) February 16, 2022
Jolyon immediately batted back with his usual grace and decorum by calling Hancock a “sleazy little man”, although the tweet appears to have since been deleted. Fortunately Hancock kept the receipts…
This reply discredits you yet further. Time to apologise again. Good people were working hard to respond to an unprecedented pandemic.
— Matt Hancock (@MattHancock) February 16, 2022
You know the “pub landlord” accusation is also completely false.
It’s time to put Twitter down & stop resorting to personal abuse. pic.twitter.com/GTULhXWP7H
Clearly seeing red, Jolyon decided to stop responding to Hancock directly and instead go on a four-tweet rant on his own profile – at one point comparing Hancock and Lord Bethell to Batman & Robin:
Anyway, Sun Tzu updated, we have now watched the political careers of Hancock, and Bethell, Robin to his Batman, rightly float past us down the river and so we should talk of them no more.
— Jo Maugham (@JolyonMaugham) February 17, 2022
As always, Guido leaves it to co-conspirators to pick the winner…
Clearly no love lost this morning between tennis star Andy Murray and Nigel Farage. In the wake of Novak Djokovic’s successful appeal against deportation from Australia, Nige posted a video last night showing himself celebrate the news with Djokovic’s family in the tennis star’s trophy room:
In the trophy room with Novak's brother Djordje. pic.twitter.com/DjgD4ItdMz
— Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage) January 9, 2022
Murray took the opening serve, hurling this cheap shot across the net this morning:
Please record the awkward moment when you tell them you’ve spent most of your career campaigning to have people from Eastern Europe deported.😉 https://t.co/rfFn1hdXlu
— Andy Murray (@andy_murray) January 9, 2022
Sweeping away the backhanded jibe, Farage smashed back by telling Murray he “clearly [doesn’t] understand politics” and is “filled with prejudice”:
Dear Andy, you clearly don't understand politics or the Brexit campaign but are filled with prejudice.
— Nigel Farage (@Nigel_Farage) January 10, 2022
Concentrate on the tennis and, a word of advice, crack a smile every now and again. 😃 https://t.co/8s943WUSQ1
Inevitably the Twitterati already declared it game, set, match, although Guido reckons the ball’s now in Murray’s court to decide who takes it home. At match point, Guido – as always – leaves it to the readers to sit in the umpire’s chair…
This week’s Twitter Bitch Fight of the Week is a parliamentary face-off: Labour’s Deputy Leader Angela Rayner versus Tory grandee Michael Fabricant. The opening salvo came from Fabbers, who claimed that Rayner was “squawk[ing] on about Geoffrey Cox” over the sleaze scandal:
Angela Rayner squawks on about Geoffrey Cox and his Virgin Islands Government client. She doesn’t grasp
— Michael Fabricant 🇬🇧 (@Mike_Fabricant) November 25, 2021
👉It’s the same case
👉He’s one of the top specialists in international law
👉She isn’t capable of holding down any job which requires intellect https://t.co/JYRa5edVDX
Five days later, Rayner finally returned the favour, accusing Fabricant of “classism and sexism“, and slamming Boris for his Peppa Pig speech:
I’ve just been made aware of this tweet this morning. Classism and sexism is alive and well in the Conservative Party…
— Angela Rayner (@AngelaRayner) November 29, 2021
Michael your PM went to Oxford and Eton but can’t even do a speech without embarrassing himself and talking about Peppa Pig. “Intellect” or just entitlement? https://t.co/JPHjZaZ57i
Unlike Angie, Fabricant took little time to push back, claiming “you’d think she might have managed something more original“:
It took Ms Rayner long enough to respond. My tweet was posted 5 days ago. After all that time, you'd think she might have managed something more original.
— Michael Fabricant 🇬🇧 (@Mike_Fabricant) November 29, 2021
(All a bit sad, really. And she's #Labour's Deputy Leader.)https://t.co/nVZMTm1gm8
Rayner finally had enough. This time responding within hours, she said:
Were you calling me thick Michael? Don’t be shy, say it with your whole chest mate https://t.co/hExlCiK8XV
— Angela Rayner (@AngelaRayner) November 29, 2021
As of this evening, it looks like Rayner’s having the final word on this – Fabbers still hasn’t responded, despite mocking Angie for taking five days to respond to his initial blow. As always, Guido leaves it to co-conspirators to determine the winner…
A fairly innocuous tweet from Andy Burnham made a splash on Twitter this morning after a complaint about overpriced public transport in the North. He lamented a simple 20-minute one-stop journey costing constituents an eye-watering £8, and comparing it to London:
Public transport is so expensive in our part of the world.
— Andy Burnham (@AndyBurnhamGM) October 20, 2021
This is the cost of a one-stop, 20-minute journey.
To be levelled up, we need London-level fares.
Accept nothing less. pic.twitter.com/Dug5VOaisC
Labour MP Neil Coyle then, unprovoked, accused the King of the North of making “cheap digs at London”:
A riled Burnham would not hear it and was keen to level up the conversation…
Still not satisfied, Burnham has spent the last hour passively aggressively retweeting his Twitter supporters including one who not so subtly wrote: “I don’t get why some Londoners are upset about this”. Meanwhile red wall voters without transit systems, and just one bus an hour, will no doubt be experiencing broken hearts at the plight of their metropolitan comrades…
It was only a matter of time before these two featured in Guido’s long-running series. Following Cummings’ doorstep interview with Sky yesterday, in which he claimed “we have a joke prime minister” in response to the government’s handling of the pandemic, Piers Morgan launched a scathing attack on the man who had, he claimed, deliberately blocked ministers appearing on Good Morning Britain during that time:
Of course, Cummings took the bait:
To which Morgan responded with the tried and true “I know you are, but what am I?” technique:
It was inevitable that a Barnard Castle reference would show up. Still, Cummings managed to get the last word in, which is unusual with Piers…
As ever, Guido leaves it to co-conspirators to determine the victor…