#LabourDoorStep #GameOn #Fail

Twitter is unbearable on weekends at the best of times, but in election season it becomes a soul-destroying sphere of horse sh*t, with thousands of activists sharing grinning pictures and vague platitudes about the reaction ‘on the doorstep’.

Here’s one such interaction Labour won’t be sharing this side of the election, but should probably use in a’ how not to do it’ guide for the next time:

So far it’s had almost half a million views on Facebook. Well Labour did promise millions of conversations on the doorstep…

1.3 Million Facebook Views For Savage Miliband Take Down

Labour have managed to get Jo Brand to do their latest election broadcast. Last time she endorsed the party, they went on to suffer their worst ever defeat…

Meanwhile, over on Facebook, this video has spread like the clap:

Robot Ed’s monotone repetitive “these strikes are wrong” hit from 2011 is having something of a renaissance. So far 1.3 million voters have watched and shared it with their voting friends. The classics are always the best…

Agenda Setting Journalism

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Angry people on Twitter yesterday said that our Ed Miliband scoop yesterday was “not news”.

It seems that Britain’s biggest selling newspapers disagree. We make the news…

Eton Ukulele Loon Was Privately Educated

“I didn’t have any eggs and didn’t want to get arrested. I could have shouted but that is boring” says Robin Grey, who hit the headlines this week by serenading the PM with a ukulele and catchy tune about f**king off back to Eton.

“I consider myself to be an activist. The more I travel round the country the more I see what people have in common” he harps on. And what does he have in common with Dave? Private education and posh accent for one. Grey went to the £11, 643 per annum RGS Newcastle…

Poll: Did Ed Eat His Bogies?

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Remember: “Dig for victory!”

Owen Jones Exits Reality Based Community

doh-owen-jones

So we are not allowed to say that a metropolitan liberal lefty lives in North London and now pointing out that Ed Miliband ruined his brother’s life is apparently anti-Semitic.

A spectacularly hypocritical allegation from someone who works at the Guardian.

Could Labour cheerleaders please provide us with a list of pejorative terms we are allowed to use about their spanner of a leader?

Tony Blair: Public Too Thick For EU Vote

Well reading between the lines:

“Remember the relief we felt when Scotland voted no. Why was that? Because towards the end, having paid only intermittent attention to the enormity of the decision, we awoke to it and realised – I think with shock – how close we had come to relegating ourselves from the Premier League of nations. Now think if the vote had gone the other way. It doesn’t bear thinking of. It would be exactly the same with a vote on Europe. We’re frankly not much focused on it now. But that is the same semi-conscious torpor that almost led us to disaster in keeping the UK together.”

Basically he is saying the people don’t think about these things hard enough, so we can’t risk them getting it wrong by giving them the chance.

Because Tony Blair never got anything wrong in the face of popular opinion now, did he…

 

IPSA Dump On Labour’s Zero Hours Spin

Labour’s onslaught against the mythical “zero hours contract epidemic” hits the buffers when it is gently pointed out that almost 70 Labour MPs employ staff on flexible contracts. Labour’s stock reply is to blame IPSA for this embarrassing hypocrisy, yet the expenses watchdog have hit back today:

“The MP is the employer, it is a matter for them whether they choose to use a zero-hours contract.”

Amusingly it was left to Tristram Hunt to bluster as the carpet was pulled from underneath his argument on the Daily Politics earlier:

Delicious…

Gordon Promises Scots £800,000,000… From a Tax on Bankers’ Bonuses!

You could not make it up. Despite no longer being an MP, Gordon is back and making outlandish spending claims in Scotland.

The former Prime Mentalist has told a Glasgow audience that Labour will spend £800 million more in Scotland to “end austerity”:

And here are the fantasy numbers:

That would be the tax on bankers’ bonuses that Labour have already spent 11 times:

Oh dear…

Ed Miliband: I Am Tough Anus

Hell yes!

That’s what £10,000 quid a day training gets you…

The Nation’s Favourite Focus Group Slaughters Miliband, Again



Miliband V Gogglebox. The gift that keeps on giving…

Chuka Uses Tragic Train Track Tragedy to Trash Private Sector

https://twitter.com/ChukaUmunna/status/572480897041215488/photo/1

Yesterday evening Labour’s Chuka Umunna tweeted his great displeasure at being delayed in returning to his luxury art-deco penthouse apartment in Streatham. There can be no doubt that the Shadow Business Secretary is a man in a hurry for a government limo. Chuka blamed the delay on the private-sector Southern Railway and immediately tried to politicise the issue, making clear he wanted the service brought back into the public-sector:

Unfortunately for Chuka the delays out of Victoria had nothing to do with the private ownership of the railways:

Not a great look.

Information Commissioner’s Office Website Breaks Its Own Rules

ico security certificate

Embarrassment at The Information Commissioner’s Office as visitors to their website were presented with a “This Connection is Untrusted” warning . Unbelievably, the public body tasked with enforcing privacy and electronic communications regulations had forgotten to renew its SSL security certificate which allows secure connections from ICO’s server to a web browser.

The certificate is required by law if, like the ICO, visitors can leave contact information on your website.

Techno Guido looks forward to the ICO fining itself…

H/T computing

World’s Second Most Popular Porn Website Infecting Viewers

hamster

xHamster, the second most popular pornography website in the world with half a billion viewers a month, is infecting a huge number of its goggle eyed clientel with malware. The smut merchants at xHamster have been in the spotlight before for not protecting their viewers from malicious software, but according to one analyst, the past few days have seen computer infections originating from xHamster increase by 1500%.

Attackers are taking advantage of a recently discovered vulnerability in Adobe’s Flash player to infect the computers of online erotica aficionados who click on advertising on the xHamster website with the Bedep trojan, a virus that constantly downloads new viruses the victims computer.

Techno Guido recommends using protection..

 

Another Tory Old Fart Facing Local Deselection

West Country bore Ian Liddell-Grainger is having a right old ding-dong with local Tories down in Somerset, where his own blue council group have passed a vote of no confidence and accused him of “unethical manoeuvres” and “gratuitously derogatory and offensive comments” about their mates. They’re very upset with Queen Victoria’s great, great, great grandson:

  • Over a number of years, it stated, the MP “has made gratuitously derogatory and offensive comments about West Somerset Council, it’s leaders and some of its councillors and officers”
  • Being “proactive in undermining what the council’s been trying to achieve on behalf of its residents”
  • Treatment of “certain individuals has been immoral sometimes by bullying and making fun in public of those unable or unwilling to defend themselves”, sometimes to cover up for himself
  • The end of the document stated his “ill-informed, dishonourable, divisive and destructive behaviour… makes him unfit to be a member of parliament” and the West Somerset Council Conservative Group “does not trust him and lacks confidence in him”

The Association has full confidence… for now. 

The King is Dead, Long Live the Regime – David Cameron

David Cameron is in full on gush mode:

“I am deeply saddened to hear of the death of the Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques, His Majesty King Abdullah bin Abd Al Aziz Al Saud. He will be remembered for his long years of service to the Kingdom, for his commitment to peace and for strengthening understanding between faiths. My thoughts and prayers are with the Saudi Royal Family and the people of the Kingdom at this sad time. I sincerely hope that the long and deep ties between our two Kingdoms will continue and that we can continue to work together to strengthen peace and prosperity in the world.”

So anyway, here are the Saudis cutting off a woman’s head in the street last week:

Meanwhile Saudi blogger Raif Badawi faces another 950 lashes as soon as his initial 50 have healed enough.

Scumbags.

While We Are Talking About Politicians and Food…

Lest we forget when it comes to politicians and food, Gordon had all bases covered:

Don’t forget to vote in our poll

Sorry Obama Couldn’t Be Bothered, But Here’s James Taylor

John Kerry reaffirmed his status as international diplomacy’s leading pillock this afternoon with his excruciatingly embarrassing apology to France. After no senior American official could be bothered to attend the unity rally in Paris last week, John Kerry stowed James Taylor in his hand luggage for his visit to the French capital. Taylor was paraded at a press conference to sing “You’ve got a friend…” Which wasn’t at all awkward…

Guido’s World Exclusive Interview With Johann Hari

“Look,” said Johann, his dark eyes welling up with emotion. “I can talk to you about why what happened in my life happened. But I just think that’s a way of trying to invite sympathy, and that would be weaselly.

Thinking this was the moment, Guido leaned in closer to the disgraced former Indy columnist, waiting for that magic word to come from Hari’s lips:

“If you tell a detailed personal story about yourself, you’re inherently asking people to sympathise with you, and actually I don’t think people should be sympathetic to me. I’m ashamed of what I did. I did some things that were really nasty and cruel.”

“I’m very reluctant to go into a personal narrative and give the why,’ the disgraced columnist sighed. “Most people restrain their self-aggrandising and cruel impulses, and I failed to. I failed badly. I think when you do that, when you harm people, you should shut up, go away and reflect on what happened.”

Or say sorry, thought the interviewer…

“Going on about myself would just be arrogant and actually repeating being nasty, and that’s what I’m trying not to be. When you fuck up, you should privately reckon with the harm you have caused and you should pay a big price.”

And apologise perhaps, but still no…

Of course Johann Hari didn’t say any of this to Guido, but to Decca Aitkin of the Guardian.

See attribution isn’t so hard after all.

Apparently Hari is back promoting his new novel about drug addiction.

So much for shutting up and going away to reflect on what happened…

Brand ‘Threw Curry Sauce’ at Daily Mail Journalist… Then Tweeted His Mobile Number to 8.7 Million Followers

How does Russell Brand respond to a journalist asking him a question? By tweeting his mobile number to his 8.7 million followers. Guido has obscured the image, but Brand knows Daily Mail reporter Neil Sears’ phone will be ringing off the hook with nutters bombarding him with calls.[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Alan Sugar on Jeremy Corbyn:

“It’s clear you alluded to students refunds to get votes from young impressionable people. You are a cheat and should resign.”

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