WATCH: Penny’s Commons Cock Controversy Compilation

Always the provider of public service blogging, Guido has collated the highlights of Penny Mordaunt’s Commons “cock welfare” debate – as revealed in the Sun on Sunday and elsewhere – into a six second clip. A cock and bull story…

Labour Candidate Posts Full Frontal Vagina Pic on Twitter

Tory MP Karl McCartney appears to have ‘done a Dromey’, in other words ‘favouriting’ a saucy picture on his Twitter account. His Labour opponent’s decision to flag this up, uncensored, to her followers will have had them choking on their lunch:

lucy

Red faces all round…

UPDATE:

ITN Girl’s Sambuca’d Pirouettes in Central Lobby

sambuca-d-Sarah-Vaughan-Bro

Guessing Sarah Vaughan-Brown, ITN’s Communications Director, won’t be feeling so very right this morning…

UPDATE: The morning after the night before…

UN Special Envoy Slams Miliband’s Mansion Tax

United Nations Special Envoy and High Commissioner of the UNHCR, Angelina Jolie, has voiced her concerns about Ed Miliband’s mansion tax:

“I’m quite responsible about money. That could put me off [moving to London].”

Wonder who could have put her up to that…

Clip via Channel 4 News.

Which Politician Would You Snog Under the Mistletoe?

Guido is donning his brown cords for the Political Studies Association awards dinner this evening. The PSA have done some very early festive polling to find out who the public would most like to stand under the mistletoe with. Clegg soars to 2%…

Tory Mayoral Candidate’s Nude Pics

“I’m a complete rags to riches boy,” Nick Boles’ old flatmate Ivan Massow tells the Standard today, as he announces his intention to be the Tory candidate for London mayor in 2016. Presumably these photos were taken before he could afford clothes…

WATCH: Myleene Klass Demolishes Ed Miliband on Mansion Tax

Ed Miliband had a rough time on ITV’s The Agenda, crumbling under the forensic questioning of his hard-hitting interviewer and grope victim, singer Myleene Klass.

“Is that [the mansion tax] your only option? You might as well tax me on this glass of water. You can’t just point at things and tax them. You need to have a better strategy.”

“How much are you actually going to make from this? Some people are saying that there are 58,000 [homes that would fall under mansion tax], some people are saying there are 100,000.”

The verdict was clear:

Tom Bradby had to stop the fight…

Chuka Boasts of Mystery Girlfriend

The Shadow Business Secretary and closet DJ Chuka Umunna has been boasting about what good mates he is with Tinie Tempah: “Tinie and I are friends, we go way back,” he told the Standard at a party: “We’re both Nigerian, both from south London. He’s from Peckham, I’m Streatham.” He even got a hug from the rapper later.

It was party boy Chuka’s chat with City AM’s diarist that really caught Guido’s attention though. Apparently Chuka prefers staying in now:

“I love watching Gogglebox with my girlfriend.”

A shocking revelation… What is it about Gogglebox’s constant laying into Ed Miliband that Chuka enjoys the most?

So This Is Doing the Rounds of Asian Trading Floors…

An oriental co-conspirator points out that PUKI is Filipino for vagina… 

Finding NiMo Another Special Adviser

Nicky Morgan hid in her office while she had the three SpAds she inherited from Michael Gove sacked back in July. Now she has finished replacing them. Guido is told Morgan has hired up Holly-Lee Davis from the Centre for Social Justice – which is becoming the government holding pen once embodied by PX. The LSE-educated brainbox who also works with an “initiative aimed at promoting peace amongst school-aged children in the Middle East”. Davis joins gay rights activist Luke Tryl and Lynton Crosby’s former assistant Chris Wilkins at DfE. She should be able to spot a Trojan Horse plot a mile off…

DATA SPECIAL: Karen Danczuk Twitter Selfie Analysis

Guido’s favourite Labour councillor Karen Danczuk was given a tough time during her appearance on Loose Women, coming in for some particularly unfair criticism about her allegedly provocative Twitter selfies. This blog has always been at the cutting edge of agenda setting data journalism, so Guido decided to investigate and put Karen’s defence to the test. The evidence presented below shows that Mrs D is right, despite what the Loose Women said more often than not her selfies are just good, clean fun:

In light of this indisputable new evidence perhaps Karen’s critics should start talking about some of her other assets…

Leaders’ Wives: Cos-t of Living Lib Dem Edition

Miriam complimented a business-like white shirt by showing her true LibDem colours with a yellow below-the-knee wool mohair skirt with folded front pleat, designed to sit on the waist, available from Cos for £89. Stylishly accompanied by a taste of home: gold heels from Spanish brand Uterqüe.

Nick wore a navy Hackett suit, with a white shirt and red tie from M&S…

Loads More Page 3

Guido is all for promoting the work of models on Instagram, so… As the No More Page 3 Anti-Sex League snipes at the Sun’s breast cancer and healthy body image campaigns, Page 3 star Rhian and pals, who she describes as the “#BoobTroop”, have hit back with an alternative t-shirt slogan: Loads More Page 3. Who do you think has more support?

Vorderman Teases Ed to His Face about Forgetting Deficit

Miliband might have thought he was on safe ground at the Mirror’s Pride of Britain awards last night, but he still ended up cringing in front of all his close friends like Yvette Cooper, Douglas Alexander and Ed Balls.

Sitting amongst an audience of hundreds of volunteers and media types, along with the PM, Ed did not appear to enjoy Carol Vorderman’s introduction. Welcoming them both, the sexy maths minx quipped something along the lines of: “Good job I had an autocue for that bit. Might be a lesson for you there Ed.” To make matters worse for Miliband, the largely non-political audience of celebs seemed to get it and loved it. Guido understands that collective wincing to be known as ‘cut through’.

Sam Cam's £99 Austerity Busting Conference Dress

Sod the tax cuts, as ever Guido brings you the important leader’s speech news. Sam Cam was wearing a new frock from Hobbs.

‘The Penrose Wrap’ retails at a austerity-approved £149, though if she bought it online she could have picked it up for just £99!

The dress is both serene and versatile, with the crossover detailing at the waist creating a slender silhouette, complimented nicely by the sleeveless and knee-length structure.

Sam accompanied it with an old pair of LK Bennett shoes. 

UKIP Banks on Mystery Donation Figure……and Don't Mention His Mrs and Mike Hancock

There is some bafflement in Tory circles this morning over from where exactly UKIP have plucked the quarter of a million pound figure for defector Arron Bank’s donations to the Conservative Party since 2005. A hungover scan of the Electoral Commission website by Guido shows only two donations of £25,000 from Banks to two Tory branches since Cameron became leader: Thornbury & Yate and Northavon, and no money to the central party. Which makes the £250,000 being punted on the news channels look a little iffy.

Leaving that aside this initial confusion while it’s investigated, what will Arron Banks’ new friends at UKIP have to say about his wife’s somewhat mysterious acquisition of the right to stay in the UK? Banks married Ekaterina Paderina in 2001, who regular readers will remember was a good chum of LibDem turbo-perve Mike Hancock:

“Miss Paderina came to Britain from Ekaterinburg in eastern Russia on a student visa in the late 1990s. In November 1998 she met and married Eric Butler a retired merchant seaman from Portsmouth, who was more than twice her age. Immigration officials were suspicious about the marriage and Miss Paderina was informed she could face deportation. But after seeking help from their local MP, Mr Hancock, Miss Paderina was allowed to stay in Britain, despite her marriage to Mr Butler allegedly lasting just three months.”

According to Paderina’s ex, Handy-cock “went out of his way to help the blonde Russian after she paid several visits to his constituency office.” Rather awkwardly for Banks, Hancock’s seat is very high up the list of UKIP targets that he’s now funding… 

UPDATE: UKIP sources are confident of the figure. They immediately point to an outstanding loan from 2007 of £75,000 from Banks’ Panacea Finance to the Thornbury association, as well as the £50,000 given in his own name. So that’s halfway there then…

COMPETITION: Guess Whose Boots?

Think you know? Have your say in the comments…

#EverydaySexism Rife at Labour Conference

Everyday sexism is rife at Labour conference. Tom Watson waddled off yesterday after describing a bacon butty bearing babe as a “Sun model”:

A rather patronising assumption to make about Cherry Wilson, who is a journalist at the paper specialising in features:

Meanwhile, Sky News political correspondent Sophy Ridge has had her own encounter with a dinosaur:

What would Harriet say?

Venezuela Goes From Boob to Bust

venezuela2

It is not just the economy which is sagging in socialist Venezuela, the country has been hit by a shortage of breast implants, a foretaste of what Britain can expect under a Miliband government. Despite attempts by former leader Hugo Chavez to nip the craze in the bud, boob jobs have become a key cultural asset of the Latin American nation, with the country racking up a whopping 85,000 procedures last year. Recently however the enhanced price of implants has meant a reduction in the numbers having the surgery. “The women are complaining. Venezuelan women are very concerned with their self-esteem” says Ramon Zapata of the Venezuelan Society of Plastic Surgeons. President Maduro, who has seen his government rapidly lose support, is being kept abreast of the issue…

No More Page 3's Jubilation Sags

The anti-sex league were really milking it yesterday, their cups runneth over:

The cause for their celebrations?[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Alan Sugar on Jeremy Corbyn:

“It’s clear you alluded to students refunds to get votes from young impressionable people. You are a cheat and should resign.”

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