Selfie Sticks Banned at UK Music Venues

selfie

Once upon a time they were the domain of the Asian tourist, but now they are so popular that nanny is coming for them. In a shocking clamp down on freedom, a group of major music venues have now banned “selfie sticks”. The O2 Academy Brixton, London’s O2 Arena and the SSE Wembley Arena are now stick free zones. These extendible poles allow users to take self photos from new and exciting angles have become something of cultural phenomenon recently. While the venues still welcome selfie taking, the use of elongated aids have been forbidden on health and safety grounds. A real blow to cleavage shots.

Karen Danczuk To Quit Being Labour Councillor

Just days after slagging Ed Miliband off in the papers, we get this:

Sad face #selfie.

Familiar Ring to Labour Spin

Labour were very quick to get a quote out about the 4Children charity childcare survey this morning, swiftly claiming the report showed “under David Cameron, childcare costs have rocketed by 30 per cent since 2010. Wages are down by £1,600 and the availability of childcare has plummeted”. Ed Balls’ spinmeister Alex Belardinelli had a particular interest in plugging the story, too:

By some strange coincidence, who is 4Children’s spin queen? Regular readers will remember Ellie Gellard, ex-Labour adviser and fiancée of one Alex Belardinelli, now Head of Communications for the charity. Surely not another case for the increasingly attentive Charity Commission to investigate…

PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: Mrs Danczuk’s New Year Message

What a year 2014 was for Guido’s favourite Labour councillor. Selfie star Karen Danczuk kindly took a few moments out from her holiday in Spain to send Guido these exclusive snaps from the pool, revealing her New Year’s resolutions are to “take on new challenges, live each day like it’s my last and to continue my weight loss”. Which incidentally are exactly the same as Guido’s. Here’s to more of the same from Mrs D in 2015…

WATCH: Highlights From Face-Sitting Porn Protest

Watch Guido’s entire NSFW coverage here.

Exclusive: Tories Block Newmark Comeback

As Guido revealed in yesterday’s Sun on Sunday, the selection process in Braintree to replace disgraced dick pic king Brooks Newmark has been cancelled amid speculation he is planning the unlikeliest of comebacks. Brooks was spotted holding secret talks with his local association after concerns about the quality of the other candidates. Despite him promising post-parliament penance working for charity, he saw his chance. Tory sources confirm from Westminster that Brooks had been “wavering”, however, Guido understands any attempt by him to stand again has been blocked by high command: “It’s not going to happen”. Just as Guido was preparing to stand as the Pyjama Party candidate…

WATCH: Penny’s Commons Cock Controversy Compilation

Always the provider of public service blogging, Guido has collated the highlights of Penny Mordaunt’s Commons “cock welfare” debate – as revealed in the Sun on Sunday and elsewhere – into a six second clip. A cock and bull story…

Labour Candidate Posts Full Frontal Vagina Pic on Twitter

Tory MP Karl McCartney appears to have ‘done a Dromey’, in other words ‘favouriting’ a saucy picture on his Twitter account. His Labour opponent’s decision to flag this up, uncensored, to her followers will have had them choking on their lunch:

lucy

Red faces all round…

UPDATE:

ITN Girl’s Sambuca’d Pirouettes in Central Lobby

sambuca-d-Sarah-Vaughan-Bro

Guessing Sarah Vaughan-Brown, ITN’s Communications Director, won’t be feeling so very right this morning…

UPDATE: The morning after the night before…

UN Special Envoy Slams Miliband’s Mansion Tax

United Nations Special Envoy and High Commissioner of the UNHCR, Angelina Jolie, has voiced her concerns about Ed Miliband’s mansion tax:

“I’m quite responsible about money. That could put me off [moving to London].”

Wonder who could have put her up to that…

Clip via Channel 4 News.

Which Politician Would You Snog Under the Mistletoe?

Guido is donning his brown cords for the Political Studies Association awards dinner this evening. The PSA have done some very early festive polling to find out who the public would most like to stand under the mistletoe with. Clegg soars to 2%…

Tory Mayoral Candidate’s Nude Pics

“I’m a complete rags to riches boy,” Nick Boles’ old flatmate Ivan Massow tells the Standard today, as he announces his intention to be the Tory candidate for London mayor in 2016. Presumably these photos were taken before he could afford clothes…

WATCH: Myleene Klass Demolishes Ed Miliband on Mansion Tax

Ed Miliband had a rough time on ITV’s The Agenda, crumbling under the forensic questioning of his hard-hitting interviewer and grope victim, singer Myleene Klass.

“Is that [the mansion tax] your only option? You might as well tax me on this glass of water. You can’t just point at things and tax them. You need to have a better strategy.”

“How much are you actually going to make from this? Some people are saying that there are 58,000 [homes that would fall under mansion tax], some people are saying there are 100,000.”

The verdict was clear:

Tom Bradby had to stop the fight…

Chuka Boasts of Mystery Girlfriend

The Shadow Business Secretary and closet DJ Chuka Umunna has been boasting about what good mates he is with Tinie Tempah: “Tinie and I are friends, we go way back,” he told the Standard at a party: “We’re both Nigerian, both from south London. He’s from Peckham, I’m Streatham.” He even got a hug from the rapper later.

It was party boy Chuka’s chat with City AM’s diarist that really caught Guido’s attention though. Apparently Chuka prefers staying in now:

“I love watching Gogglebox with my girlfriend.”

A shocking revelation… What is it about Gogglebox’s constant laying into Ed Miliband that Chuka enjoys the most?

So This Is Doing the Rounds of Asian Trading Floors…

An oriental co-conspirator points out that PUKI is Filipino for vagina… 

Finding NiMo Another Special Adviser

Nicky Morgan hid in her office while she had the three SpAds she inherited from Michael Gove sacked back in July. Now she has finished replacing them. Guido is told Morgan has hired up Holly-Lee Davis from the Centre for Social Justice – which is becoming the government holding pen once embodied by PX. The LSE-educated brainbox who also works with an “initiative aimed at promoting peace amongst school-aged children in the Middle East”. Davis joins gay rights activist Luke Tryl and Lynton Crosby’s former assistant Chris Wilkins at DfE. She should be able to spot a Trojan Horse plot a mile off…

DATA SPECIAL: Karen Danczuk Twitter Selfie Analysis

Guido’s favourite Labour councillor Karen Danczuk was given a tough time during her appearance on Loose Women, coming in for some particularly unfair criticism about her allegedly provocative Twitter selfies. This blog has always been at the cutting edge of agenda setting data journalism, so Guido decided to investigate and put Karen’s defence to the test. The evidence presented below shows that Mrs D is right, despite what the Loose Women said more often than not her selfies are just good, clean fun:

In light of this indisputable new evidence perhaps Karen’s critics should start talking about some of her other assets…

Leaders’ Wives: Cos-t of Living Lib Dem Edition

Miriam complimented a business-like white shirt by showing her true LibDem colours with a yellow below-the-knee wool mohair skirt with folded front pleat, designed to sit on the waist, available from Cos for £89. Stylishly accompanied by a taste of home: gold heels from Spanish brand Uterqüe.

Nick wore a navy Hackett suit, with a white shirt and red tie from M&S…

Loads More Page 3

Guido is all for promoting the work of models on Instagram, so… As the No More Page 3 Anti-Sex League snipes at the Sun’s breast cancer and healthy body image campaigns, Page 3 star Rhian and pals, who she describes as the “#BoobTroop”, have hit back with an alternative t-shirt slogan: Loads More Page 3. Who do you think has more support?

Vorderman Teases Ed to His Face about Forgetting Deficit

Miliband might have thought he was on safe ground at the Mirror’s Pride of Britain awards last night, but he still ended up cringing in front of all his close friends like Yvette Cooper, Douglas Alexander and Ed Balls.

Sitting amongst an audience of hundreds of volunteers and media types, along with the PM, Ed did not appear to enjoy Carol Vorderman’s introduction.[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Tory MP Nick Boles says what everyone thinks…

“There is a timidity and lack of ambition about Mrs May’s Government which means it constantly disappoints. Time to raise your game, Prime Minister.”

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