#MiliFandom: Fantasy versus Reality

Is Miliband sexy? We report, you decide… 

The fantasies:bedmiliband

The reality:
ed-gif

Guido suspects this mass hysteria was triggered by Caitlin Moran in The Times last week (Are women ‘perving’ over Ed Miliband?) and the Daily Mail (Red Ed’s VERY tangled love life). Apparently the whole #MiliFandom thing is driven by teenage girls. Remember kids, socialism is never cool…

Totty Watch: What the Hens Really Thought Of Ed

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According to one attendee on LBC this morning “he looked terrified, absolutely terrified. And he wouldn’t actually come off the bus. He was just kind of lingering on the steps, waving sort of tentatively.”

Which reminded Guido of this:

Ed Miliband, stud muffin.

“Grip Me, Whip Me!”

Here is “operatic champagne socialist” Melinda Hughes – riding crop and fishnets included – in Guido’s favourite musical election special yet.

Miliband Beats His Wife

As does Farage.

But Miriam Clegg really thrashes Nick in the Daily Mail poll of Leaders vs Spouses

Blue-KIP

By day, John Langley is UKIP’s deputy chairman in Bristol, also standing for the party in next month’s city elections. By night he is Johnny Rockard, star of “Johnny Rockard gives Welsh BDSM MILF Bella pain and pleasure” and “Johnny Rockard and Xzena Porn Warrior Princess Extreme”, and other such quality motion pictures.

Well at least he hasn’t said anything racist on Twitter…

Who Was Ed’s Secret Girlfriend in 2005?

“I first met Ed when I went to a friend’s house for dinner,” Justine Miliband tells the Mirror today:

“I was interested in him, I thought he was good looking and clever and seemed to be unattached. But we just went down a conversational cul-de-sac. Apparently we had nothing in common. He wanted to talk about economics – one of my least favourite subjects. None of our conversations went anywhere. Then I found out he was secretly going out with the woman who had invited us for dinner. I was furious.”

But who was Ed’s secret lover at the time? According to John Rentoul it was Stephanie Flanders…

Flanders has admitted to dating both Ed Balls and Ed Miliband, though friends had always claimed it was in the nineties. Curious…

“Could the secrecy have been because he was a Treasury special adviser Stephanie Flanders was BBC economics journalist”, mused Rentoul on Twitter today. Questions to which the answer is oooooh.

Page 3 Totty Back in Print

… In today’s Guardian…

Crosby Declares: “I’d S**k Off David Cameron”

It’s all go down under. In a wide-ranging pre-election intervention, the cast of Geordie Shore, MTV’s Newcastle-based genitourinary gorefest, have had their say on the party leaders. True blue Charlotte Crosby brings the PM some positive news, at last:

“I’d s**k off David Cameron”


One way to shut him up…

Theresa May’s Busty Budget Cleavage Divides Internet

How naughty of some social media users not to focus on George Osborne and his Long Term Economic Plan, rather debate the relative merits of Theresa May’s cleavage:

Even Edwina Currie got in on the action:

But the BBC coverage hardly helped matters, constantly panning the camera toward the Home Secretary. This is unedited footage:

We report, you decide…

Kensington Rumour Mill: Late New Entry

There’s a surprise new entry in the race to be the next Tory MP for Kensington: the glamorous union-slayer Simone Finn. Despite being an adviser to the Cabinet Office, Finn is not currently seen as the “Downing Street candidate” and has business background. But the mother of two is an old friend of Dave’s. Regular readers will remember her though as being central to Frankie Maude’s trade union reforms. She’s feisty…

Interview With Robyn Exton: The Most Famous Lesbian in Tech

 

In 2013 Robyn Exton launched “Dattch,” a lesbian dating app that allowed horny women to discover other like-minded women near by. This week the company pivoted and became “Her,” an all-encompassing lesbian app the aims to become the one-stop online space for queer woman worldwide. We caught up with Robyn to find out more.

Men are unsurprisingly banned from becoming users of “Her”…

Salma Yaqoob in Hijab Porn Shock

yaqoob hijab

Salma Yaqoob, the loony former leader of Respect, came to prominence as the hijab wearing Muslim woman elected to Birmingham city council. Yaqoob has just followed @DesiCruise10inc on Twitter, a porn account dedicated to posting adult pictures of “babes” wearing hijabs. Very adult (NSFW).

“The hijab is not about the denial of female (or male) sexuality. Quite the opposite… the aim of hijab is to de-emphasise sexuality in public interactions, whilst encouraging sexuality in private ones.” – Salma Yaqoob 

Not sure if that’s haram…

UPDATE: Salma Yaqoob has unfollowed @DesiCruise10inc

yaqoob update

One Peer A-Perving

  • Labour Lord’s Outside Interests in ‘High Class Escorts’ and ‘Humiliation’
  • Lord Berekely Insists I certainly haven’t used their services”

Labour Lord (Tony) Berkeley likes to keep up with his interests on Twitter. The former chairman of the European Rail Freight Association follows @EurostarUK, @RailfutureFret, @RMTunion and, er, @MidwestEscorts. The ‘High Class Escorts’ twitter account belongs to a Kansas City based escort service who regularly tweet out saucy pictures of the ladies on their books.

3

Lord Berkeley also follows @rana198888, an account belonging to an Arabic “Queen” who regularly tweets very NSFW pictures of men being sexually humiliated that are far too graphic for a family site to republish.

Despite following just 240 accounts, a startled Lord Berkeley assured Guido over the phone that it was “not bloody likely” that he had intentionally followed @MidwestEscorts and “I certainly haven’t used their services.” He thanked Guido for bringing Midwest Escorts to his attention and will be unfollowing them with immediate effect. Always happy to help…

Too Pretty For Politics?

We wouldn’t have Mrs D any other way…

Mrs Danczuk: Harman “Categorically” Did Say Those Words

Harriet Harman is embroiled in another row this afternoon after councillor Karen Danczuk accused her of telling porkies. Yesterday Mrs D tweeted:

Only for Harman to hit back strongly today:

“I deny I ever said that and it’s inconceivable I would have ever said that. I’ve always believed it’s what you do in politics, not what you look like. I have never discouraged a woman from getting involved in politics on the basis of their looks.”

But Karen insists to Guido that it did happen, at a party at Labour conference in Manchester a few years ago:

“I can categorically confirm that is exactly what was said to me by Harriet. I actually took it as a compliment and still do. I never thought bad of Harriet saying that to me. However I am now sad to hear that she is denying it when it is the truth. Maybe she had forgotten that she had said that to me. I stand by what I said. It’s the truth. I have no reason to lie.”

Well someone’s not telling the truth…

Top Tory Caught With Host’s Au Pair at Dinner Party

Which top Tory recently shocked his dinner party hosts with his inability to keep it in his trousers during a north London kitchen supper? “Popping to the loo” halfway through dinner, the renowned lothario disappeared for so long that the host slipped upstairs to check everything was ok, only to find our mystery man boshing the au pair. All whilst the politician’s wife chatted away downstairs, completely oblivious to what was going on…

Daylight Rubbery! Condoms in Venezuela Cost $755

Retailers in Venezuela will soon be wrapping up their businesses as the price of condoms in the joyless socialist dystopia climax at $755 a pack. The population is split and the secret police have been unsheathed to restore order, accusing businesses of running Trojan hoarding operations. “The country is so messed up that now we have to wait in line even to have sex,” says a frustrated Jonatan “Johnny” Montilla, while Jhonatan “Johnny” Rodriguez complains that abortion is illegal: “without condoms we can’t do anything“. Just the tip of the unrest. Time to pull out?

Lily Cole’s Taxpayer-Funded Website Descends Into Farce

lily-cole

Eyebrows were raised when millionaire supermodel Lily Cole was awarded £200,000 of taxpayers’ money in 2013 to fund her “altruism-based social network” Impossible.com. The doll-faced entrepreneur spent her share of a £10 million Cabinet Office fund called “Innovation in Giving” to develop an unholy mash-up between freecycle and Cragislist, where users can offer things to other people in exchange for a thank you. The “gift economy” didn’t catch on…

turtle

So what does a self-styled tech-vixen do when she still has government cash burning a hole in her pocket and a desolate wasteland of a website that needs to keep going for the sake of keeping up appearances? It seems that Impossible is now focusing on beefing up it’s blog content, with recipes for split plea soup, articles called “The Importance of Connecting with your Heart” and more:

Austerity? What austerity?

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected

grindr

Grindr, the phone application that allows gay men to locate other gay men nearby, has been hit with a malicious attack that autodials a premium rate phone number when horny men fire up the app. Users have claimed to have been stung for £1 a second after a virus that appears to have been hidden in the pop-up advertising force dialled a premium rate number from their phone. It’s not unusual for sex themed websites to be targeted by virus packed adverts, but it’s less common in major phone apps which tend to avoid bombarding users with pop-ups. Grindr however doesn’t have an aversion to annoying users with invasive advertising – a policy which, combined with the iPhone allowing autodialling without user authorisation, has left its users out of pocket.

While Grindr say they are addressing the issue, the premium number attack has reportedly been active for over a month. It’s quite probable that Grindr, which has 5 million users, was specifically targeted because of the embarrassment many of those users might feel when chasing up the issue with their phone provider. A severe dose of iClap…

H/T: El Reg

World’s Second Most Popular Porn Website Infecting Viewers

hamster

xHamster, the second most popular pornography website in the world with half a billion viewers a month, is infecting a huge number of its goggle eyed clientel with malware. The smut merchants at xHamster have been in the spotlight before for not protecting their viewers from malicious software, but according to one analyst, the past few days have seen computer infections originating from xHamster increase by 1500%.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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