“Best Speech of Osborne’s Career”

More than one Tory MP at the Spectator awards last night described this as the best speech of George Osborne’s life. “There won’t be much time for chit chat, a bit like when Theresa and I last spoke…”

Theresa May: Craig Oliver’s Gong Made Me Retch

A hard-hat and hi-vis clad Theresa May accepted the Politician of the Year award at last night’s Spectator awards, before delivering as cutting a put down of Craig Oliver as Guido has ever heard. Made all the better by Craig being there to hear it.

“I’m particularly pleased to see Craig Oliver is here tonight. Sorry, Sir Craig…

I understand that in his book on the referendum campaign, Craig says that when he heard the result of the referendum he walked out of the office, he walked into Whitehall and started retching violently. I have to say I think we all know that feeling. Most of us experienced it too when we saw his name on the resignation honours list.”

In ten years of going to the Speccie awards Guido has never heard more jibes with such pointed sharp edges…

Tory MP ‘Stuck His Hands Down Man’s Pants and Tried to Kiss Him’

howlett

Tory MP Ben Howlett is the subject of police enquiries after allegedly sexually assaulting a gay couple in a nightclub in his Bath constituency. The Sun reports allegations that:

“He pushed a man up against the wall and stuck his hands down his trousers into his pants and tried to kiss him. He then grabbed his boyfriend’s crotch.”

Westminster acquaintances of Howlett, a legendary soak, will undoubtedly be shocked to learn of such alleged antics…

Andrew Mitchell Puts Constituency Home Up For Sale

mitchell

Andrew Mitchell has put his constituency home up for sale, Guido can reveal. Thrasher may have decided to put the £350,000 Sutton Coldfield property on the market to help pay his million pound legal bill, though there has also been speculation that Mitchell feels he has no future in Theresa May’s regime and is considering his political future. Either way, Guido takes you through the keyhole…

mitch1

Described by estate agents as a “stunning” and “beautiful” two bedroom “period residence set within a prestigious town centre location”, Mitchell’s gaff boasts original features throughout as well as a “beautiful kitchen” and “luxury bathroom”. It is a bit too pine ‘n chintz for Guido’s taste.

mitch2

Outside there is an enclosed rear garden with patio and dining area:

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The property is on the market now – Andrew Mitchell’s constituency home could be yours for £350,000…

Tory Whips Saved Vaz

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When 203 MPs voted for Keith Vaz to join the Justice select committee last night, everyone assumed Labour MPs had turned up to back their man. In actual fact, Guido can reveal that it was the Tories who whipped their side to secure Vaz’s position. A disbelieving Conservative MP tells Guido that as he walked through the voting Lobby he saw a group of Tory whips ordering their MPs to vote for Vaz. There was no Labour whipping operation, only a small number of Labour MPs turned up for the vote. As a result 159 of the 203 MPs who voted for Vaz were Tories, including ministers like Amber Rudd, Jeremy Hunt and Liam Fox. The whips’ pathetic argument was “you’re voting for the process, not for him”This decision to appoint a crook to the Justice committee is one of parliament’s most shameful acts in recent years – and the Tories are the ones responsible…

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LibDems Make It About Zac’s Wealth

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Unknown LibDem Richmond candidate Sarah Olney has used her first national newspaper interview to launch a clumsy attack on Zac Goldsmith’s wealth. Speaking to the MoS, Olney went after Zac over the money he inherited from his dad, claiming he won’t understand what it means if the price of Marmite goes up. A strange class war attack line – leafy Richmond is hardly full of people who’ll be pushed below the breadline. Zac responded by taking the Michelle Obama approach last night:

Doesn’t exactly fit the LibDem narrative that Zac is nasty and they’re the cuddly ones…

Soubry Kept Off Brexit Committee

RUNNERS

The Tories elected to the Brexit select committee are Alistair Burt, Maria Caulfield, Michael Gove, Andrea Jenkyns, Jeremy Lefroy, Peter Lilley, Karl McKartney, Craig Mackinley, Dominic Raab and John Whittingdale. Eight out of ten are leavers, Vote Leave dream team reunited. No Soubs…

CONFIRMED: Zac Resigns

He is appointed to be Steward and Bailiff of the Three Hundreds of Chiltern. Statement from Zac within the hour… 

May Ignored Constituents on Heathrow

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Guido has dug out an old poll of constituents in Maidenhead commissioned by its MP. The voters there reported that they opposed airport expansion in the South East by 58% to 33%, also preferring a new airport to be built than a third runway at Heathrow by 39% to 23%.[…] Read the rest

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Zac Tells Tories He’s Resigning

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Zac Goldsmith appears to have told his Richmond Park association he is going to quit and call a by-election:

Heathrow Announcement:
A Note to Members

Dear Member,

You will no doubt have seen the announcement in the media this morning that the Government has given the green light for expansion at Heathrow.

[…] Read the rest

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It’s Heathrow

The government have confirmed it has decided on a third runway at Heathrow. Boris says he will oppose it. Zac will be making a statement this evening:

[…] Read the rest

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SpAds in Numbers

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With Guido’s SpAd list all but complete, our data bods have crunched the numbers to give you a statistical analysis of the government’s bag-carriers. More than two thirds of SpAds are men – that said, female representation among advisers is higher than in the Commons.[…] Read the rest

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SpAd List: New Appointments

SPADS

Guido’s SpAd list is pretty much complete. Latest moves include Keelan Carr and Ben Mascall to Downing Street to do the Scotland brief and Number 10 grid respectively. Michael Fallon has taken on Richard Holden at the MoD, Liam Fox’s second SpAd will be Amy Tinley, Raoul Ruparel is with David Davis at the Brexit department and Rupert Oldham-Reid is off to the whips office.[…] Read the rest

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Guido’s Guide to Tory Davises/Davieses

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The geniuses at HuffPo are very angry with Brexit Secretary David Davis, accusing him of proposing dental age checks on refugees arriving in Britain and illustrating their story with a picture of him at the desptach box. Also boarding the outrage bus are the amateurs at the LibDem press office, though they are upset with Philip Davies over the dental checks idea.[…] Read the rest

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Heathrow / Gatwick Vote in Winter 2017/18

heathrow

The Cabinet sub-committee will announce its decision on airport expansion next week BUT there will then be a year-long public consultation, meaning the final vote will not be until the winter of 2017/18. Ministers will be allowed to disagree with the government’s decision but not publicly campaign against it, which means Justine Greening and Boris presumably won’t be able to support a Judicial Review.[…] Read the rest

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Minister Warned CCHQ About Rape Arrest Aide

armstrong

CCHQ were warned months ago that they should sack Sam Armstrong, the Tory aide who has been arrested over an alleged rape in the Commons. Back in June Rob Halfon appealed to Lord Feldman to remove Armstrong from his job with South Thanet MP Craig Mackinlay.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

The FT’s Wolfgang Munchau on the “fake maths” of economic forecasts:

“The truth is that our ability to forecast the future beyond the current quarter is limited… The curse of our time is fake maths. Think of it as fake news for numerically literate intellectuals: it is the abuse of statistics and economic models to peddle one’s own political prejudice… The fakeness of the maths lies in an exaggerated inference. Economic models have their uses, as do opinion polls. They provide information to policymakers and markets. But nobody can see through the fog of the future.”

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