Jolyon Joins TikTok

As avid followers of the trials and – many – tribulations of the Good Law Project, co-conspirators will be delighted to learn there will soon be yet another way of keeping track of Jolyon’s losses. The Good Law Project is looking to bolster its digital output and is hiring someone to manage their TikTok. Whoever they hire will have a big job on their hand. The account is currently sat on 88 followers.

Jolyon is looking for a keen, young upstart who has experience amplifying the voices of marginalised communities. One of the job’s responsibilities is to “engage with influencers”. Presumably Matt Hancock is off the table.

The hire will also need to share the values of the Good Law Project. The claim that “We hold our hands up if we get something wrong” is probably overdue a revision. Though, to be fair to Jolyon, he certainly lives up to the requirement of being “open to the possibility of failure”.

Tech-savvy co-conspirators looking for a career change can apply here.

mdi-timer 30 January 2023 @ 17:14 30 Jan 2023 @ 17:14 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
The Maybot Makes TikTok Debut

Boris may have had a tough day at the office, though thankfully Theresa’s come along to remind us what an improvement the current PM is over his predecessor. A TikTok-ing member of the public recently approached May while filming, requesting a photo and asking the former PM for her favourite joke. The Maybot promptly locked up while failing to find any ‘jokes’ on its hard drive. By contrast, Boris was recently approached and asked by a school kid for his favourite flavour slushy, with no such awkwardness…

mdi-timer 24 June 2022 @ 17:20 24 Jun 2022 @ 17:20 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Nadine’s Online Safety Bill Rap

Guido was unsure whether DCMS would be able to provide an tangible example of content that is “legal but harmful” before the passage of their Online Safety Bill.

“Is it true it will impact freedom of expression?
No we’ve put in legal protections in the 19th section”

Now we have our answer…

Guido reckons this rap isn’t even Nadine’s best TikTok content…

mdi-timer 27 May 2022 @ 16:31 27 May 2022 @ 16:31 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Shapps’ TikTok Transport Takeover

If Grant Shapps’ recent efforts are anything to go by, Rishi’s in serious danger of being dethroned as the cabinet king of self-promotion. Co-conspirators will recall Shapps’ series of entertaining short videos promoting various DfT projects – one featuring Michael Portillo – which went down a storm on social media and in Westminster. Now Shapps is doubling down on newfound comedic talents by becoming the latest MP to board the TikTok train. Just this morning, Shapps released another clip promoting the new half-price rail tickets…

Currently Shapps is sitting on nearly 6000 followers, which is still comfortably behind the Tories’ TikTok superstar Dr Luke Evans on 17,600. Both are blown out of the water by app veteran Zarah Sultana though, who’s now on over 305,000. Although unlike Sultana, Shapps and Evans haven’t yet broken Commons rules by recording in the Commons library… 

Guido understands the mind behind Shapps’s hot new content – including the Portillo classic – isn’t Spielberg, Scorsese, or Nolan: it’s his comms SpAd, Neil Tweedie. Sounding out whether Team Rishi are nervous about Shapps’ comms revolution, Guido was told they are enjoying his video output. Admittedly gritted teeth are difficult to convey via WhatsApp…

mdi-timer 19 April 2022 @ 14:08 19 Apr 2022 @ 14:08 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Cleverly Joins Streak of Ministerial Security Breaches

It’s been quite the week for ministerial security lapses – yesterday both Ben Wallace and Priti Patel admitted giving access to pranksters posing as the Ukrainian PM, and on Monday Guido revealed Esther McVey had leaked Saj’s personal phone number on Instagram. Now we can add James Cleverly to this line-up.

Two days ago a video appeared on the TikTok account of abzyy.2k, a young boy whose main output consists of “Uber pranks”, i.e. getting into the back of random people’s cars and pretending they thought it was their Uber ride. Despite the unbelievable chances, the sixth instalment of said prank happened to be on none other than James Cleverly who, understandably, struggled to see the funny side of it. What happened to that debate about MP security after Amess’s murder? 

mdi-timer 18 March 2022 @ 16:00 18 Mar 2022 @ 16:00 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Shahmir Sanni Accused of Sexist Verbal Abuse Towards Sam Smith Fan

Co-conspirators presumably could have happily gone the rest of their lives without hearing the name ‘Shahmir Sanni’ – fantasist whistleblower – again. Unfortunately Guido’s now going to put an end to the blissful period of silence. Over the weekend a TikTok user uploaded a photo of an innocent attempt to meet singer Sam Smith, only to face an earful of abuse from one of his groupies and have her phone knocked away. The incident has been widely reported, although the name of the ‘attacker’ has thus far remained a mystery…

In a bizarre twist to Shahmir Sanni’s now-non existent career, it was reported in 2020 that the gender-neutral pop star had started dating him. Multiple sources have now noted a remarkable similarity between the TikTok attacker and Shahmir…

A couple of Twitter users have now pointed the finger of blame at Shahmir.

In 2018, Shahmir said of his whistleblowing “It hasn’t been fun. If I had known the consequences, if I had known it would be this bad in terms of the abuse, the vitriol… I probably wouldn’t have come forward.” Looks like the shoe’s now on the other foot…

mdi-timer 7 December 2021 @ 17:22 7 Dec 2021 @ 17:22 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
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