PCH’s Famous Breakfast Wraps Return

Guido is pleased to report that PCH’s famous breakfast wraps have finally returned. The wraps are so loved by MPs and staffers alike, that rumour has it the estate refused to bring back the breakfast snack back whilst operating under tight Covid-19 rules, because they feared it would attract large queues. With both meaty and veggie wraps available at the bargain taxpayer-subsidised price of just £2.23, Guido is sure that no MP will go home hungry…

 

mdi-timer 18 October 2021 @ 10:42 18 Oct 2021 @ 10:42 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Vulnerable Corbyn Flouts Self-Isolation & Social Distancing

Four days from retirement, Corbyn, 70, has been snapped brazenly sitting in the centre of the UK’s corona virus hotbed, ignoring the Government’s self-isolating dictum – despite Parliament shutting down six days ago. Corbyn is also clearly ignoring the Government’s two-metre social distancing rule. He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy…

mdi-timer 31 March 2020 @ 14:05 31 Mar 2020 @ 14:05 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
PCH Luxury Furniture Refurb Totals £28,000

The continuing dilapidation of Portcullis House has been well-documented; most recently seeing the removal of its continually-breaking water feature. On Monday, MPs and Staffers arrived to see Parliament authorities have gone too far the other way – removing the low-quality temporary tables and chairs that had replaced the fountains and replacing them with luxury designer sofas and leather armchairs. Is this signalling a new era of sofa government?…

The Times have totalled the cost of the furniture at almost £28,000, although knowing the public sector the work put into buying and installing them will total many thousands more. Work and Pensions Secretary Thérèse Coffey took the Commons Authorities to task over the absurd cost, saying

“These are the same authorities that don’t provide appropriate office chairs or lighting for a working environment, helped by the fact that we are in a royal palace and not technically subject to health and safety legislation”

The sofas and armchairs form part of PCH’s new “agile working zone” – which is questionable as none of the chairs recline…

mdi-timer 19 February 2020 @ 15:15 19 Feb 2020 @ 15:15 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
PCH Refurbishment Due as Soon as Restoration and Renewal Project Ends

Mice were spotted running around the Portcullis House kitchen area earlier this week, in news that will not settle the minds (or the stomachs) of people who work on the Parliamentary Estate. PCH is only eighteen years old and yet already it is breaking at the seams; with broken fountains being removed, leaking office roofs, broken air conditioning, windows cracking in extreme heat, dying trees, and mice in abundance. Blair’s PFI palace is falling to pieces…

Guido hears that senior parliamentary authorities are expecting to have to begin extensive refurbishment work on Portcullis House as soon as the unprecedented restoration and renewal work in the Palace of Westminster winds up. Complete PCH refurbishment will be extensive, expensive, and difficult as the £235 million structure is built into Westminster Tube Station below. Just as MPs and their staff thought they would be able to finally have some peace and quiet…

mdi-timer 12 February 2020 @ 15:08 12 Feb 2020 @ 15:08 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Parliament’s Security Outfoxed

In scenes akin to a John Lewis Christmas advert, Portcullis House security were left flummoxed last night as a fox sneaked past them and got all the way to floor 4 of the MPs’ office building. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy security guard…

The London local ran amok for at least 20 minutes, being documented by researchers and reporters. Eventually, the cunning creature was caught and – using six security guards – brought out in a box.

The fox also made his political views known, by leaving a gift outside Labour MP Kerry McCarthy’s office

Whilst security may have foxed up, they proved to Jolyons everywhere how to appropriately deal with the issue…

Hat-tip: MoS Politics & Will Crook
mdi-timer 7 February 2020 @ 10:32 7 Feb 2020 @ 10:32 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Who Trashed Ellwood’s Office?

Reshuffles don’t just mean new jobs for MPs, but also new parliamentary offices for them and their staff; and much like reshuffles, not all office moves are upgrades. Returned to the backbenches is Tobias Ellwood, who discovered this scene today when he walked into his new Portcullis House office to discover it utterly trashed. The rumour mill is now all abuzz about who left it in such a state…

Guido can reveal that the previous occupant was Chris Heaton-Harris, who was promoted to Minister of State for Transport in Boris’s reshuffle.

Portcullis House is undergoing huge refurbishment works over the Summer Recess, however a Guido co-conspirator says that whilst the maintenance work has created some mess, no other offices have been left in this wrecked a state. Hopefully Chris Heaton-Harris is better at sorting out the mess of Britain’s transport than he is at cleaning up his own…

mdi-timer 21 August 2019 @ 15:02 21 Aug 2019 @ 15:02 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
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