Comrade Corbyn Unites the Tories

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The biggest revelation at today’s PMQs was not that Cameron’s backbenchers are divided over Europe or that Labour backbenchers are phoning Dignitas for leadership advice.

No, it’s that the people of Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales are too thick to handle democracy. At least, you could conclude that from what the supremely pompous Angus Robertson, the SNP’s Westminster leader, told the chamber today.

Six weeks is too short a time after the devolved elections in May to hold a European referendum, he declared, so the PM better gang homewards tae think again. Angus is one of those self-made men who worships his creator, so the implications of his request – echoing a letter sent by the three leaders of the regional assemblies earlier today – should have been obvious. American voters (for example) are frequently faced with electing a president, a governor, a senator, a congressman and a multitude of local officials all on the same November day. But Scots’ wee brains would explode if they’ve only got a six-week rest period between ballot papers, apparently.

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PMQS: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 John Mann (Bassetlaw)

Q2 Marcus Fysh (Yeovil)

Q3 David Warburton (Somerton and Frome)

Q4 Rehman Chishti (Gillingham and Rainham)

Q5 Mr Christopher Chope (Christchurch)

Q6 Anne McLaughlin (Glasgow North East)

Q7 Mr Andrew Turner (Isle of Wight)

Q8 Ruth Smeeth (Stoke-on-Trent North)

Q9 Stella Creasy (Walthamstow)

Q10 Antoinette Sandbach (Eddisbury)

Q11 Julian Knight (Solihull)

Q12 David Rutley (Macclesfield)

Q13 Mark Spencer (Sherwood)

Q14 Johnny Mercer (Plymouth, Moor View)

Q15 Mary Robinson (Cheadle)

Comments in the comments please…

Tim Farron: “Who?”

Following on from the PM’s ribbing a few months ago, Farron is on the receiving end from Tory meanies again. “Mr Tim Farron.” “Who?”

Cameron’s Attack on Corbyn and “A Bunch of Migrants”

Only Corbyn could have missed today’s Google open goal at PMQs. This was Cameron’s punchy three-pronged put down:

“They met with the unions and they gave them flying pickets.

They met with the Argentinians and they gave them the Falkland Islands.

They met with a bunch of migrants in Calais and they said they could all come to Britain.

The only people they never stand up for are the British people and hard-working taxpayers.”

Corbyn missed the chance to hit back, but expect Labour to jump on the outrage bus about that “bunch of migrants” line…

UPDATE: The Guardian was quick to jump on the outrage bus, reporting that his comments were callous and dehumanising. Except when they do it:

bunch-of

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Peter Aldous (Waveney)

Q2 Nusrat Ghani (Wealden)

Q3 Charlotte Leslie (Bristol North West)

Q4 James Morris (Halesowen and Rowley Regis)

Q5 Margeret Ferrier (Rutherglen and Hamilton West)

Q6 Nick Thomas-Symonds (Torfaen)

Q7 Sue Hayman (Workington)

Q8 Bob Blackman (Harrow East)

Q9 Caroline Flint (Don Valley)

Q10 Drew Hendry (Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and Strathspey)

Q11 Martin Vickers (Cleethorpes)

Q12 Judith Cummins (Bradford South)

Q13 Mark Pawsey (Rugby)

Q14 Chris Green (Bolton West)

Q15 Siobhain McDonagh (Mitcham and Morden)

Comments in the comments please…

SKETCH: Waiting Watson and Blissed Out Osborne

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As we endured the latest round of this miserably one-sided fight, my mind turned to the two men sitting to the left of their respective leaders.

It’s a decent bet (the double pays 22/1 with Paddy Power) that George Osborne and Tom Watson will be the next leaders of their parties, and will one day be squaring off against each other on these Wednesday lunchtimes, which would at least be more unpredictable.

Tom was doing his usual thing today, or at least his usual thing since he became Jeremy Corbyn’s deputy: utterly silent, smiling inscrutably, a look of faint amusement and utter detachment on his face.

The only times his lips tightened were when a backbench MP used Corbyn’s gaffe-a-thon with Andrew Marr on Sunday to allow the Prime Minister one of several free and gleeful hits on Trident, secondary picketing, and the Falklands, the latter a comradely gift from the DUP’s Nigel Dodds.

Obviously it wouldn’t do for Tom to smile when David Cameron is shoeing the poor, defenceless old man sitting next to him, but you wonder if these are also the moments when he realises Corbyn cannot go on much longer like this, and ponders being up at the despatch box himself very soon.

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Corbyn Squirms Through Dodds Falklands Skewering

No one demolishes Corbyn quite like Nigel Dodds. He absolutely nailed him on his Falklands comments at PMQs today.

PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Gareth Thomas (Harrow West)

Q2 Ms Gisela Stuart (Birmingham, Edgbaston)

Q3 Rishi Sunak (Richmond (Yorks)

Q4 Wes Streeting (Ilford North)

Q5 Edward Argar (Charnwood)

Q6 Dr Alan Whitehead (Southampton, Test)

Q7 Neil Parish (Tiverton and Honiton)

Q8 Karl McCartney (Lincoln)

Q9 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn)

Q10 Jonathan Edwards (Carmarthen East and Dinefwr)

Q11 Gareth Johnson (Dartford)

Q12 Nadhim Zahawi (Stratford-on-Avon)

Q13 Mr John Baron (Basildon and Billericay)

Q14 Mr David Jones (Clwyd West)

Q15 Bob Blackman (Harrow East)

Comments in the comments please…

PMQs SKETCH: No Doctor in the House

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Today was the day the Shadow Chancellor’s influence on his leader made itself known. After Prime Minister’s Questions, MPs, journalists and viewers were scratching their head at Jeremy Corbyn’s failure to mention the junior doctor’s strike even in passing. Such an open goal, you might think, given the government’s difficulties on this one.[…] Read the rest

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PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Bill Esterson (Sefton Central)

Q2 Andrew Griffiths (Burton)

Q3 Tommy Sheppard (Edinburgh East)

Q4 Barbara Keeley (Worsley and Eccles South)

Q5 Oliver Dowden (Hertsmere)

Q6 Gordon Henderson (Sittingbourne and Sheppey)

Q7 Dr Tania Mathias (Twickenham) 

Q8 Dr Phillip Lee (Bracknell) 

Q9 Seema Kennedy (South Ribble) 

Q10 Dan Jarvis (Barnsley Central) 

Q11 Paul Blomfield (Sheffield Central)

Q12 Andrew Bridgen (North West Leicestershire) 

Q13 James Cartlidge (South Suffolk) 

Q14 Mrs Sharon Hodgson (Washington and Sunderland West) 

Comments in the comments please…[…] Read the rest

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Ask Jez: Why Could Labour Be Fined Up To £500,000?

Lab Comms

Jeremy Corbyn has revolutionised PMQs by outsourcing his questions to members of the public. Voters are able to send in their question by supplying their email address and filling out an online form with their suggestions. Guido would like to remind everyone to use this form responsibly…

Unfortunately, it doesn’t appear Labour have complied with the regulations laid out by the Information Commissioners Office’s on online communications, with the ICO stipulating that there must be an opt-out option for receiving future e-mail communications from the party.[…] Read the rest

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PMQs SKETCH: Full Fathom Five Labour’s Leader Lies

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Be not afeard; the House is full of noises. Given the recent floods, the Prime Minister avoided quoting The Tempest as the 400th anniversary of Shakespeare’s death was expropriated to ridicule the Shadow Cabinet reshuffle omnishambles: “It looked like this reshuffle could go into its Twelth Night.” “A comedy of errors!” “Much ado about nothing!” “Love’s Labour’s Lost!”.[…] Read the rest

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From Bard To Worse: PM’s Terrible Shakespeare Gags

Don’t think Eton boy Dave is giving his Harrow rival Benedict Cumberbatch a run for his money just yet…[…] Read the rest

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PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Karen Lumley (Redditch)

Q2 Anna Turley (Redcar)

Q3 Clive Efford (Eltham)

Q4 Caroline Lucas (Brighton, Pavilion)

Q5 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West)

Q6 Nadhim Zahawi (Stratford-on-Avon)

Q7 Mr George Howarth (Knowsley)

Q8 Debbie Abrahams (Oldham East and Saddleworth)

Q9 Chris Green (Bolton West)

Q10 Simon Hart (Carmarthen West and South Pembrokeshire)

Q11 Mike Kane (Wythenshawe and Sale East)

Q12 Jim Dowd (Lewisham West and Penge)

Q13 Seema Kennedy (South Ribble)

Q14 Mr Gavin Shuker (Luton South)

Q15 Grahame Morris (Easington)

Comments in the comments…[…] Read the rest

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PMQs Sketch: Dennis “Tyson Fury” Skinner Heckles PM

simon“A f***ing Happy C***mas to you, you c***-foombling, fist-f***ing, f***-fest!”. 

So shouted Dennis Skinner to the Prime Minister, in rowdy Commons scenes just now. (Reported dialogue may not represent actual words actually used.) The Speaker had lost control of proceedings and the Commons abandoned itself to South Korean scenes.[…] Read the rest

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PMQs: Who’s Asking The Questions Today

pmqs chat

Q1 Richard Graham (Gloucester)

Q2 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn)

Q3 Callum McCaig (Aberdeen South)

Q4 Alison Thewliss (Glasgow Central)

Q5 Mrs Anne-Marie Trevelyan (Berwick-upon-Tweed) 

Q6 Karl McCartney (Lincoln)

Q7 Mark Pawsey (Rugby) 

Q8 Ms Gisela Stuart (Birmingham, Edgbaston)

Q9 Mr Douglas Carswell (Clacton) 

Q10 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty) 

Q11 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw) 

Q12 Mr Ranil Jayawardena (North East Hampshire) 

Q13 Fiona Bruce (Congleton) 

Q14 Danny Kinahan (South Antrim) 

Q15 Oliver Dowden (Hertsmere) 

Comments in the comments…[…] Read the rest

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