PM Laughs Off Leadership Challenge

The PM batted off a question from the SNP’s Stephen Gethins at PMQs: “The time to reflect on your mistakes is clearly when you’re close to the end of your time in office, so that doesn’t apply.” The third time Cameron’s leadership post-Brexit has been called into question over the last week. Chants of “four more years” from Tory loyalists rung out…

Who is Asking the Questions Today?

Q1 Mims Davies (Eastleigh)

Q2 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q3 Ann Clwyd (Cynon Valley)

Q4 Alan Brown (Kilmarnock and Loudoun)

Q5 Mark Spencer (Sherwood)

Q6 Helen Goodman (Bishop Auckland)

Q7 Steven Paterson (Stirling)

Q8 Matthew Pennycook (Greenwich and Woolwich)

Q9 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton)

Q10 Karl McCartney (Lincoln)

Q11 Craig Mackinlay (South Thanet)

Q12 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North)

Q13 Stephen Kinnock (Aberavon)

Q14 Neil Carmichael (Stroud)

Q15 Stephen Gethins (North East Fife)

Comments in the comments please…

Ozbot versus Androgenoid

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David Cameron couldn’t make PMQs today having had a busy week buying a new motor for his missus. The vehicle in question was a clapped out 2004 Nissan Micra with 90,000 miles on the clock – in Tory blue of course – for which he shelled out the princely sum of £1,500 (two seconds on AutoTrader would have revealed similar mileage models regularly go for half that price).

Unfortunately for Dave his millionaire spouse was not impressed with her millionaire husband buying her a beat up old Nissan to potter around Chipping Norton in. In a rage she summarily banished him to the dog house, and so the PM fled to Japan to put as much distance between him and the old dear as possible under the pretence of attending vital G7 meetings. To be honest I can’t understand what she’s so upset about, sure the Nissan’s interior is nothing special, but it’s certainly not the most useless and overvalued old banger SamCam’s had to sit on.

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Who is Asking the Questions Today?

Q1 Maria Caulfield (Lewes)

Q2 Stephen Pound (Ealing North)

Q3 Tom Blenkinsop (Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland)

Q4 Cat Smith (Lancaster and Fleetwood)

Q5 Richard Drax (South Dorset)

Q6 Philip Davies (Shipley)

Q7 Patrick Grady (Glasgow North)

Q8 Julie Elliott (Sunderland Central)

Q9 Judith Cummins (Bradford South)

Q10 Ruth Cadbury (Brentford and Isleworth)

Q11 Nusrat Ghani (Wealden)

Q12 Andrew Griffiths (Burton)

Q13 Barbara Keeley (Worsley and Eccles South)

Q14 Dr Alan Whitehead (Southampton, Test)

Q15 Jason McCartney (Colne Valley)

Comments in the comments please…

A Nigerian, an Afghan and Englishman Walk into an Anti-Corruption Summit

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David Cameron had good cause to enter the Chamber even more rosy cheeked than usual today. Yesterday video was leaked of him chin-wagging with the Queen at a Buckingham Palace Reception. “We’ve got some leaders of some fantastically corrupt countries coming to Britain”, he said ironically, going on to highlight “Nigeria and Afghanistan, possibly the two most corrupt countries in the world”. At this point the Archbishop of Canterbury felt impelled to interject, soberly reminding the PM that “this particular President is actually not corrupt. He’s trying very hard”. That put an immediate stop to the joking, and all stood silent, no doubt thinking “Good God lighten up man, no need to get on your high horse about it”. That’s the problem with Archbishops you see, they can get a bit pious. Luckily Speaker Bercow was on hand to sarcastically inquire, “They are coming at their own expense, I would assume?” The PM chuckled, and banter was resumed.

This is the real David Cameron. Droll, sardonic, and not afraid to make a politically incorrect joke that winds up an Archbishop. It’s a completely different figure to the artificial one we see every week in PMQs: his stab at the “socially liberal nice guy” persona which resembles not so much a man as a string of focus groups welded together into a vaguely humanoid shape. Continue reading

Tim Farron Met With Wall of Groans

The name “Tim Farron” is met with a wall of groans from the Tory benches. Cameron swatted him away with minimal effort…

Who is Asking the Questions

pmqs chat

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Mike Kane (Wythenshawe and Sale East)

Q2 Victoria Prentis (Banbury)

Q3 Diana Johnson (Kingston upon Hull North)

Q4 Tom Pursglove (Corby) 

Q5 Jess Phillips (Birmingham, Yardley)

Q6 Keir Starmer (Holborn and St Pancras)

Q7 Roger Mullin (Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath) 

Q8 Henry Smith (Crawley)

Q9 Andrew Stephenson (Pendle) 

Q10 Gavin Newlands (Paisley and Renfrewshire North) 

Q11 Chris Law (Dundee West) 

Q12 Mike Freer (Finchley and Golders Green) 

Q13 Craig Williams (Cardiff North)

Q14 Mr Alan Mak (Havant)

Q15 Ms Karen Buck (Westminster North)

Comments in the comments…

Corbyn Withstands Heavy Shelling From PM

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To say Mr. Corbyn’s Labour party is on a downward spiral would rather overestimate the elegance of its descent.

In fact, if things keep going the way they are presently then one can only presume next week will reveal that John McDonnell is actually a 94 year old former Waffen-SS operative in disguise and Shabana Mahmood chucks cats into bins for japes. Or that John Mann goes one step further and ends up literally battering Ken Livingstone to death with a cudgel on the Daily Politics as Andrew Neil and JoCo try vainly to intervene. To paraphrase D:Ream: Things, they can only get worse.

So onto proceedings. Having witnessed such an utter shambles David Cameron decided the best plan of attack was to go the full IDF and blast his opposite number to smithereens with extreme prejudice and overwhelming force. No softly, softly today. No, Sir. Now was the time to don his smart shirt (plain blue twill as opposed to the usual modish gingham number) and hit Corbyn with everything he’s got in time for the upcoming council and mayoral elections.

Karl McCartney teed the PM up, asking him to “condemn the actions and propaganda of Hezbollah and Hamas”. Cameron naturally went straight for the jugular. “The point he makes about Hamas is important. They are a terrorist group who believe in killing Jews”, he intoned sternly, finishing by asking if his Labour counterpart would “withdraw the remark that they were his friends”. This would be the first of four times the PM would make such a request. Continue reading

Corbyn Refuses to Withdraw Hamas “Friends” Comment 4 Times

Four times the PM gave Corbyn the chance to withdraw his comments saying Hamas and Hezbollah are his friends. Four times the Labour leader refused. At one point Corbyn was visibly shaken and unsure how to respond…

Who is Asking the Questions Today?

Q1 Martyn Day (Linlithgow and East Falkirk)

Q2 Karl McCartney (Lincoln)

Q3 Anne Marie Morris (Newton Abbot)

Q4 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North)

Q5 Mary Robinson (Cheadle)

Q6 Rachael Maskell (York Central)

Q7 Mr Nigel Evans (Ribble Valley)

Q8 Caroline Lucas (Brighton, Pavilion)

Q9 Patrick Grady (Glasgow North)

Q10 Stephen Kinnock (Aberavon)

Q11 Margaret Ferrier (Rutherglen and Hamilton West)

Q12 Dr Julian Lewis (New Forest East)

Q13 Mr Graham Allen (Nottingham North)

Q14 Greg Mulholland (Leeds North West)

Comments in the comments please…

Rocket Man, Cameron and Farage

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Oh how the mighty have fallen. Just a few short days ago the Prime Minister was sharing a platform with the leader of the Free World. They opined solemnly on lofty notions of freedom and international cooperation. On Churchill and Martin Luther King. On America and Britain, and the intertwined fates of our two great nations.

To understand David Cameron is to understand that it is at this higher plane of existence that he feels most comfortable operating. The man was built to sit in the back of a Jag, travelling in full motorcade trailing the President’s armoured car as chopper blades whirr overhead and cameras flash from the pavement. Right at the centre of global geo-politics, and far away from the little people with their bad haircuts and cheap suits, their uncouth views and pedestrian concerns. Further away still from a shabbily dressed old Trot and the provincial monotony of PMQs.

And so unto proceedings. Both sides of the House were quick to commemorate the 96 who died at Hillsborough, a topic the PM no doubt found close to his heart as a keen follower of the game and ardent supporter of Aston Villa (or was it West Ham?). The solemnities out the way, Corbyn began by attacking on academies.

“Last week the Prime Minister told the house that he was going to put ‘rocket boosters’ on his forced academisation proposals”, Corbyn said, before giving his verdict that “it seems the wheels are falling off the rocket boosters, and the Government is considering a U-turn”.  Not exactly the most humorous way to take apart Cameron’s metaphor considering that rocket boosters lack wheels, a fact pointed out by Cameron to much laughter just a moment later.

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Farage Responds to “Poncey” Jibe

Oxford English Dictionary: poncey, poncy, adj., derogatory slang (chiefly Brit.). Affected, pretentious, self-consciously refined or superior; overly fancy or elaborate; effeminate, homosexual.

Guido has just spoken to Nige in a boozer in Wales:

“The PM’s basically using ‘poncey’ in the sense of an affectation. Where does the Old Etonian park his car? In a garaaahge? In a garage or a garrige?”

Odd jibe from “Call me Daaave”….

PM: “Extraordinary” Naz Shah Still Has Labour Whip

Dave says she is guilty of “racism” and must be suspended…

Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Mims Davies (Eastleigh)

Q2 Byron Davies (Gower)

Q3 Amanda Milling (Cannock Chase)

Q4 Ben Howlett (Bath)

Q5 Tom Tugendhat (Tonbridge and Malling)

Q6 Drew Hendry (Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and Strathspey)

Q7 Suella Fernandes (Fareham)

Q8 Mike Wood (Dudley South)

Q9 John Stevenson (Carlisle)

Q10 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty)

Q11 Mr Ben Bradshaw (Exeter)

Q12 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw)

Q13 Liz McInnes (Heywood and Middleton)

Q14 Judith Cummins (Bradford South)

Comments in the comments please…

Chancellor Rasputin Lurks in the Shadows

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And so today saw the Chancellor grace us with his first PMQs appearance for almost a month. Such reticence from the man is common these days. George Osborne is becoming increasingly Rasputin-eqsue. In the shadows he lurks, wielding power over the Tsar, dripping poison in his ear and making outlandish predictions for the future. “I’ll eradicate the debt and cut the deficit” he’ll whisper, “each family will be four thousand three hundred pounds worse off if we leave” he’ll hiss. And when his untruths and false promises are questioned, he retreats from view, leaving the ruler to lumber in on his behalf to placate the angry and ignored. Of course any man who knows his Russian history knows how this story ends. Old Rasputin was poisoned, shot, bludgeoned, and drowned by those angered by his influence, with the entire saga only further weakening the regime he was so bound up with and hastening its collapse. One wonders how long is till Osborne, like the Russian, washes up on the banks of the Thames, peppered with bullet holes but still faintly breathing, sighing “long… term… economic… plan”.

Onto proceedings. Nigel Adams got things underway by praising the “dignity and grace” of her Maj ahead of the big Nine O tomorrow, a day that promised to be “a proper knees up” at the very least. The PM reiterated the Selby MP’s sentiments, before laying a trap for his opposite number. “I know the whole country and the whole house”, Cameron innocently opined, “will want to join me in saying, Long may she reign o’er us”. Corbyn wouldn’t play ball. “Thank you Mr. Speaker”, he replied plainly, “I am also looking forward to wishing her a happy birthday tomorrow, notably missing out any celebration of the continuation of her reign. In other words, have a good one Liz, but don’t have too many more.

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Cameron’s Brutal Attack on Khan

At PMQs Cameron listed the nine times Sadiq Khan has shared a platform with Suliman Gani, as reported on Guido. Corbyn shouted “disgraceful” and Labour MPs howled “racist“. As the PM says, the point is not that Khan once shared a stage with an extremist once by accident, he did it over and over again…

Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Nigel Adams (Selby and Ainsty)

Q2 Geraint Davies (Swansea West)

Q3 Mr Christopher Chope (Christchurch)

Q4 Sue Hayman (Workington)

Q5 Jonathan Edwards (Carmarthen East and Dinefwr)

Q6 Kevin Foster (Torbay)

Q7 Matt Warman (Boston and Skegness)

Q8 John Spellar (Warley)

Q9 Imran Hussain (Bradford East)

Q10 Christopher Pincher (Tamworth)

Q11 Stella Creasy (Walthamstow)

Q12 Helen Goodman (Bishop Auckland)

Q13 Meg Hillier (Hackney South and Shoreditch)

Q14 Charlotte Leslie (Bristol North West)

Comments in the comments please…

SKETCH: Unnamed Prime Minister in Slippery Threesome

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“All that rebranding, all that time and all that effort and what was the point. What was the bloody point. The single biggest endeavour of my career has been to rebrand the Party, and for what? For nothing. The Left still think I’m a heartless, tax-dodging Tory bastard. I hugged huskies in the Arctic. The Arctic for Christ’s sake. I don’t even like the cold, or huskies for that matter. They’re terrifying. I almost froze my todger off up there detoxifying this party. And that’s just the physical ordeals. What about the countless personal embarrassments I endured? Having to pick a football team and then suffer the indignity of forgetting it in front of everyone like a malfunctioning robot, or ride a pedal bike to work everyday for a year in £3.99 polyester tracksuit bottoms, or touring the most Chlamydia infested recesses of the North East encouraging people to embrace the scallywag Asbos that loiter there. I even flew easyJet. But what good did it do me? I’m being hammered from the Left and screwed from the Right. In fact I’ve got more slippery pricks trying to do me in than there are in Elton’s paddling pool. When I leave this prison of a job I’m going to go full Blair and get a yacht and I’m going to sit in it in my pants watching Top Gear. And not the BBC version either, the proper one, with Clarkson in it. Oh yeah and I’m going to murder Stelios for all the easyJet flights I’ve had to sit through before I hop on my learjet to St. Tropez to drink Bollinger out of the bottle and eat caviar by the kilogram. And wear white tie and tails, oh yes”.

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Dave Thinks He’ll Oversee Brexit Negotiations

This is optimistic…

Who Is Asking The Questions Today?

pmqs chat

Q1 Wendy Morton (Aldridge-Brownhills)

Q2 Mr Douglas Carswell (Clacton)

Q3 Mr Alistair Carmichael (Orkney and Shetland)

Q4 Stephen Timms (East Ham)

Q5 Jenny Chapman (Darlington)

Q6 Andrew Stephenson (Pendle)

Q7 Caroline Lucas (Brighton, Pavilion)

Q8 Jesse Norman (Hereford and South Herefordshire)

Q9 Jo Stevens (Cardiff Central)

Q10 Neil Carmichael (Stroud)

Q11 Chris Green (Bolton West)

Q12 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton)

Q13 Steven Paterson (Stirling)

Q14 Catherine West (Hornsey and Wood Green)

Q15 Nigel Huddleston (Mid Worcestershire)

Comments in the comments please…[…] Read the rest

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Alan Sugar on Jeremy Corbyn:

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