Robot Wars

Tonight on BBC Two’s Robot Wars, Prime Minister’s Question Time! And here come the competitors once again, rolling their way through the tunnel and into the green-plated arena. The audience is packed behind the crash barriers, and as the lights go up and the smoke clears we see them: MayBot and JezBot! The Robot Wars theme plays and the crowd goes wild…

The roboteers up in the gallery have made several changes to their respective machines since last week’s fight. In just seven days MayBot 2.0 has been fitted with completely new weaponry: you’ll notice that huge pair of scissors fixed to her front bumper. That cutting gear is christened ‘The Deficit Destroyer‘: it’s designed to slice through the unlimited spending team JezBot want to deploy. MayBot also now boasts a rear weapon: the ‘Austerity Angle Grinder‘ spins at frightening speeds, slicing through cash. Her critics say she should have deployed these weapons in the heats which preceded this series; if you’re one of our regular viewers, you’ll remember them from the good old days of CamBot and OsBot. Will a return to the old design save the blue team?

Ah! Our cameraman catches a glimpse of Professor Milne, designer of the JezBot, silently watching the via video link from the engineer’s workshop. No obvious changes to his machine this week – but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. JezBot’s 1970s chassis – which the critics branded useless – has been serving the red team pretty well recently… 
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Snobby Speaker Criticises “Downmarket” MPs

Classic sneering condescension from the Speaker…

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Hannah Bardell (Livingston) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 5 July.

Q2 James Morris (Halesowen and Rowley Regis)

Q3 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North)

Q4 Nicky Morgan (Loughborough)

Q5 Paul Scully (Sutton and Cheam)

Q6 Bill Wiggin (North Herefordshire)

Q7 Mrs Sheryll Murray (South East Cornwall)

Q8 Jonathan Edwards (Carmarthen East and Dinefwr)

Q9 Matt Warman (Boston and Skegness)

Q10 Andrew C Bowie (West Aberdeenshire and Kincardine)

Q11 Alex Burghart (Brentwood and Ongar)

Q12 Mr Khalid Mahmood (Birmingham, Perry Barr)

Q13 Scott Mann (North Cornwall)

Q14 Helen Hayes (Dulwich and West Norwood)

Q15 Stephen Lloyd (Eastbourne)

Comments in the comments…

Tory MP Reveals Hard-Left Intimidation

Tory MP Sheryll Murray says that during the election campaign swastikas were carved into her posters, social media posts called for her to be stabbed and people urinated on her office door. Notable that Labour MPs heckled as Murray revealed the extent of hard-left intimidation… 

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Mrs Sheryll Murray (South East Cornwall) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 28 June.

Q2 Mr William Wragg (Hazel Grove)

Q3 Ian C. Lucas (Wrexham)

Q4 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West)

Q5 Jo Stevens (Cardiff Central)

Q6 Ian Austin (Dudley North)

Q7 Gavin Newlands (Paisley and Renfrewshire North)

Q8 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw)

Q9 Maria Caulfield (Lewes)

Q10 Paula Sherriff (Dewsbury)

Q11 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton)

Q12 Richard Graham (Gloucester)

Q13 Charlie Elphicke (Dover)

Q14 Angela Smith (Penistone and Stocksbridge)

Q15 Mr Barry Sheerman (Huddersfield)

Comments in the comments…

May to Corbyn: “You Are Not Up to the Job”

Election PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Q1 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield) What recent assessment she has made of the (a) performance of the economy and (b) adequacy of provision of public services in the West Midlands; and if she will make a statement.

Q2 Richard Drax (South Dorset) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 26 April.

Q3 Ben Howlett (Bath)

Q4 Tom Blenkinsop (Middlesbrough South and East Cleveland)

Q5 Jason McCartney (Colne Valley)

Q6 Rachael Maskell (York Central)

Q7 Chris Stephens (Glasgow South West)

Q8 Mary Robinson (Cheadle)

Q9 Byron Davies (Gower)

Q10 Julian Sturdy (York Outer)

Q11 Stephen Timms (East Ham)

Q12 Dr Alan Whitehead (Southampton, Test)

Q13 Steven Paterson (Stirling)

Q14 Iain Stewart (Milton Keynes South)

Q15 Sir Jeffrey M. Donaldson (Lagan Valley)

Comments in the comments…

#Yvette2017 Underway: “We Can’t Believe A Single Word May Says”

Huge cheers from the Labour benches as Yvette Cooper skewered Theresa May on her broken snap election promise. Manoeuvring underway, Yvette is 13/1  (UPDATE: Now into 8/1) to be next Labour leader…

Election PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

At 12 noon Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Alberto Costa (South Leicestershire) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 19 April

Q2 Michelle Donelan (Chippenham)

Q3 Jeff Smith (Manchester, Withington)

Q4 Mary Robinson (Cheadle)

Q5 Gerald Jones (Merthyr Tydfil and Rhymney)

Q6 David Mackintosh (Northampton South)

Q7 Jenny Chapman (Darlington)

Q8 Mr Philip Hollobone (Kettering) If she will visit Kettering constituency.

Q9 Maria Caulfield (Lewes)

Q10 Derek Thomas (St Ives)

Q11 John Stevenson (Carlisle)

Q12 Paul Scully (Sutton and Cheam)

Q13 Graham Jones (Hyndburn)

Q14 Sir David Amess (Southend West)

Q15 Richard Benyon (Newbury)

PMQs / Article 50 Double Bill

Jeremy Corbyn kicked off today’s PMQs by leveraging last Wednesday’s events to ask the PM for more police funding so they have “the necessary resources with which to do the job”. This makes perfect sense of course because if we arm every policeman with a .50 cal and equip PCSOs with mounted exoskeletons capable of shooting hellfire missiles then we’ll be terror-proof. What’s more, once we’ve turned the British Bobby into ‘The Terminator’, Jeremy Corbyn will have free reign to virtue signal about our militarised police state and their appalling atrocities. Win-win.

That’s the thing with Jeremy, he loves the police right up until the point where they have to actually do their job and pulse fifty thousand volts through some nutjob with a knife. Then they become worrying quasi-fascist rogue operatives bent on shooting to kill and destroying our civil liberties.

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PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Danny Kinahan (South Antrim) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 29 March

Q2 Bill Esterson (Sefton Central)

Q3 Carolyn Harris (Swansea East)

Q4 Tulip Siddiq (Hampstead and Kilburn)

Q5 Alex Salmond (Gordon)

Q6 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw)

Q7 Mr Ranil Jayawardena (North East Hampshire)

Q8 Victoria Atkins (Louth and Horncastle)

Q9 Julian Sturdy (York Outer)

Q10 David Mackintosh (Northampton South)

Q11 Bill Wiggin (North Herefordshire) If she will introduce an award in recognition of the contribution made by munitions workers in the First and Second World Wars

Q12 David T. C. Davies (Monmouth)

Q13 William Wragg (Hazel Grove)

Q14 John Spellar (Warley)

“Come on Eileen!”

Luckily today’s PMQs saw a return to the pantomime of days past thanks to the Labour leader’s decision to read a letter from Eileen, a primary school teacher. Here I’m disappointed to report that it took Tory wags a full 30 seconds to start shouting “Come on Eileen!” back across the chamber: an in-form Alec Shelbrooke or Nigel Evans would be expected to make such a quip in sub-20 seconds normally (sub-10 on a good day).

In subsequent sessions we can no doubt expect Jeremy Corbyn to brandish a letter from Roxanne “who has been shamefully forced into putting on the red light to pay her way through college”; Lola, who the Labour Leader “met in a club down in Old Soho where SHE – and I won’t let any transphobe say otherwise – told me that a lack of proper Government regulation means HER – again, I repeat, she is a woman – champagne tastes just like cherry Cola!”; and of course Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Barbara Ann who is apparently “suffering so badly from Tory cuts that they’ve got her “rockin’ and a-rollin’, rockin’ and a-reelin’, Barbara Ann” (her words not mine, Mr. Speaker)”.

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May Attacks Corbynistas’ Grammar Educations

Theresa May went ad hominem at PMQs, attacking Labour’s frontbench for pulling up the drawbridge. As Guido has noted previously:

  • Jeremy Corbyn – Attended a grammar school. His son went to a grammar school.
  • John McDonnell – Attended a grammar school.
  • Seumas Milne – Sent both his son and daughter to grammar schools.
  • Diane Abbott – Attended a grammar school and sent her son to a private school.
  • Jon Trickett – Attended a grammar school.
  • Grahame Morris – Attended a grammar school.
  • Paul Flynn – Attended a grammar school.

Another happy reader…

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 John Mann (Bassetlaw) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 22 March.

02 Lucy Allan (Telford)

Q3 Angus Brendan MacNeil (Na h-Eileanan an Iar)

04 Charlie Elphicke (Dover)

05 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North)

06 Sir Julian Brazier (Canterbury)

07 Lilian Greenwood (Nottingham South)

08 Chris Evans (lslwyn)

09 Simon Hoare (North Dorset)

Q10 Pete Wishart(Perth and North Perthshire)

Q11 John Stevenson (Carlisle)

Q12 Sir Edward Leigh (Gainsborough)

Q13 Huw Merriman (Bexhill and Battle)

Q14 Siobhain McDonagh (Mitcham and Morden)

Comments in the comments…

5 Things That Could Beat Corbyn at PMQs

Yes another week, another PMQs self-immolation from Westminster’s very own equivalent of a protesting Buddhist monk who sets himself on fire. Or “doing a Corbyn” as they now know it in Saigon.

So dismal was the Labour leader’s interrogation (he actually only managed to use two of his six questions), today we will look at five unlikely things that could best Jeremy Corbyn in a PMQs matchup. Opponents will be ranked by ease of their victories over the Labour leader.

  1. Stephen Hawking

“Ah”, I hear you say, “there is no way that Stephen Hawking could beat Jeremy Corbyn, it takes him ages to synthesise his speech and as such he has to plan out all of his sentences far in advance!”. And? Well, both men have to know what they’re going to say before they get to the Chamber and both have an extremely limited ability to deviate off track. However only one of these men is a theoretical physicist who understands the range of possible outcomes he could have to react to, and that is the clincher. Also, he’s easier on the ear. Stephen Hawking wins this bout comfortably, memorably telling Jeremy Corbyn that he’s met black holes with more warmth than him.

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Corbyn Only Asked Two Questions at PMQs

Corbyn had six questions at PMQs. He only asked two. One was about schools.

Question 1: “Big business evades a lot of national insurance through bogus self employment.” No question.

Question 2: “What is she going to do to fill that Budget black hole?” Question.

Question 3: “It is a grossly unfair system where those in self employment pay some national insurance, employers do not and benefit from it. That is a gross injustice which has to be addressed.” No question.

Question 4: “Cuts to social care and cuts to people with disabilities. That is the agenda of her government and everybody knows it.” No question.

Question 5: “Can she say what she’s doing to help the worst off and poorest in our society rather than continuing cutting local government expenditure, schools expenditure and underfunding social care.” Question, about schools.

Question 6: “What she has to do is address the issues of injustice and inequality in our society, and a government that’s dedicated to widening the gap, not helping those that are hard up, working self-employed to try and make ends meet, and not getting access to any benefits at the same time.” No question.

As May said, “I don’t think the Right Honourable gentleman has quite got the hang of this. He’s supposed to ask a question.” Extraordinary…

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Huw Merriman (Bexhill and Battle) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 15 March.

Q2 Stephen Doughty (Cardiff South and Penarth)

Q3 Jeremy Quin (Horsham)

Q4 Mike Weir (Angus)

Q5 Mr Andrew Turner

Q6 Nick Thomas-Symonds (Torfaen)

Q7 Mrs Theresa Villiers (Chipping Barnet)

Q8 Will Quince (Colchester)

Q9 Callum McCaig (Aberdeen South)

Q10 Victoria Atkins (Louth and Horncastle)

Q11 Tim Loughton (East Worthing and Shoreham)

Q12 Geoffrey Clifton-Brown (The Cotswolds)

Q13 Ms Tasmina Ahmed-Sheikh (Ochil and South Perthshire)

Q14 Hannah Bardell (Livingston)

Comments in the comments…

PMQs & Budget Double Bill


Jeremy Corbyn kicked PMQs off today by bragging about his party’s impeccable record on gender equality, boasting more women MPs than all other parties in this House combined”. One of which he’d even bonked himself and then promoted to the front bench! Now if that’s not equality then I don’t  know what is.

Of course this being International Women’s Day Mr. Corbyn would not be the only person to pipe up with some cheap gender-points scoring. For the Tories it fell to Victoria Atkins who asked the PM if she would “confirm that, when it comes to female Prime Ministers, it is 2-0 to the Conservatives?”. The surprise here was that this honour wasn’t bestowed upon professional brown-nose Chris Philp, best known for asking the Government probing questions along the lines of  “whether or not the Prime Minister would agree with me that the sun does really shine out of her magnificent backside?”. Continue reading

May’s Weird Shoulder Laugh


Jeremy Corbyn somehow manages to blaze the Surrey council open goal over the bar at PMQs. And Theresa May is loving it…

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Mrs Sheryll Murray (South East Cornwall) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 8 March.

Q2 Maggie Throup (Erewash)

Q3 Chris Green (Bolton West)

Q4 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield) What recent assessment she has made of the (a) performance of the economy and (b) adequacy of provision of public services in the Midlands Engine region; and if she will make a statement.[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Tory MP Nick Boles says what everyone thinks…

“There is a timidity and lack of ambition about Mrs May’s Government which means it constantly disappoints. Time to raise your game, Prime Minister.”

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