Sadiq Khan has said London is well prepared for a nuclear attack, following Putin’s threat earlier this week. While, in City Hall’s words, the prospect remains “remote” they boast the capital:

“… has a resilient and well-established system in place to ensure key agencies work closely and effectively together to keep us all safe – this includes keeping Londoners fully informed about any emergencies.”

Given the capital started disintegrating last month due to a strong breeze, Guido reckons this might prove hubristic. Still, using the underground network as a bunker will prove easy given under Sadiq’s leadership no trains are currently running…

Sadiq Khan told LBC listeners this morning that he won’t support Priti’s pick for Cressida Dick’s Met Chief replacement if he doesn’t have confidence that he or she understands the importance of addressing these deep cultural issues. While Sadiq can’t formally block the Home Secretary’s pick, Priti’s choice has to be made with due consideration of the Mayor’s preference, according to the legislation. It looks like anti-woke Priti won’t be able to ignore candidates’ gender, sexuality or race when picking the appointment…

While ordinary Londoners worry about the cost impact of Sadiq’s expansion of the ULEZ zone, City Hall officials blew over £7,000 on a party to celebrate the policy. Guido first heard about the event when climate protestors, including Piers Corbyn, gatecrashed the fizz-fueled event. A subsequent FoI reveals that while the event wasn’t funded by taxpayers, it was funded via prize money awarded to the capital by the WRI Ross Centre for Sustainable Cities – prize money the Mayor authorised for “a number of special air quality, climate change and/or environmental inequalities projects”. Guido’s not sure how a champagne soirée for public officials falls within any of those categories…

The total cost of the event came to £7,310, with 180 attendees invited. The Mayor’s office claims it was:

“A chance to thank [staff involved in the ULEZ rollout] for their tireless work in helping to clean up London’s air”

£7,310 being enough to pay for a non ULEZ- compliant car to enter the zone every day for 265 days…

Mayor Sadiq Khan is offering Londoners up to £25,000 to ‘decolonise’ street names as part of a new diversity campaign. He’s ring-fenced a staggering £1 million fund to be shared amongst community groups, particularly those campaigning to change ‘offensive’ road names. Here’s a helpful list to get started : 

• Rename the city. Whilst the exact etymology of London is uncertain, it’s a well-established fact that the Roman name for the city was ‘Londinium‘. The Romans violently conquered and colonised the city and forced Britons into slavery. Slavers are particular unwoke and Londoners should not accept their slave-name. It has to go…
• 7 city boroughs, including Barnet, derive their names from Anglo-Saxon words. As is well-documented, the Saxons and Vikings displaced the indigenous people centuries ago, raping and pillaging as they went. Their role in British history should be erased in the name of feminism.
• Westminster was actually founded by William Conqueror who – clue’s in the name – violently conquered England and oppressed the people. Westminster must be renamed…

In fact, London’s history is so complicated, rooted in so much racism, that it might be easier if Khan just demolished everything and started again from scratch. Following these helpful suggestions, Guido looks forward to receiving his £25,000…

According to Sadiq’s original ‘decampment from the glass gonad’ timetable, this is the month the London Assembly were supposed to be moving into their new home at The Crystal in Newham. With confirmation last month that the move is now being delayed, photos sent to Guido show the London Assembly’s new home is far from ready. A metaphor for the state of Sadiq’s governance, etc…

The chamber for Mayor’s Question Time and plenaries is an unfinished warehouse, filled with equipment, no floor and – particularly noticeable – no builders

The committee rooms and visitor area appears as an airport hanger:

A further close-up of the committee rooms shows just how far off completion Sadiq’s relocation project is:

Susan Hall, leader of the GLA Tories, has observed it’s “hard to see how the Crystal building will be ready for City Hall to move in by the end of the year – considering that it’s already late and over budget, it’s not good a place to be.”

“In a few short weeks, the London Assembly and the Mayor will be homeless. The Mayor’s bizarre decision to ship London’s regional government up the Thames is proving to be more ridiculous by the day.”

Over-schedule and over budget, it will be a fitting memorial for Mayor Sadiq’s reign…

It has today been confirmed that Sadiq Khan’s plan to move City Hall from the glass gonad by Tower Bridge to ‘Crystal’ in East London has been delayed, after construction teams converting the Crystal discovered flood damage to the floor. According to Khan’s team, the building will now be ready by the new year leaving London Government workers – who are being made to leave their current offices in November – without an official workplace for at least two months. The original “Relocation” plan anticipated that workers would be able to move into Crystal in October – a prediction that is now at least three months out. Consequently the cost of this move has already risen from £8 million to almost £14 million…

Guido understands the Mayor, Assembly Members and staff will slum it in temporary accommodation at Union Street until they can finally move into their new venue, however other venues will have to be hot desked in during the period.

Leader of the GLA Conservative Susan Hall has slammed the delay stating:

“It is hugely disappointing that the London Assembly will be temporarily homeless because of the Mayor’s decision to move City Hall to the Royal Docks.

“Far from saving taxpayers’ money, the Mayor’s plan is proving to be a costly distraction from City Hall’s important work. We’ve already seen the moving costs soar by 70% to £13.6 million and it’s likely the final bill will be even higher.”