Leaked Burnham Draft Manifesto Reveals Made-Up Stories About Women

Guido has obtained Andy Burnham’s draft manifesto for the Manchester mayoral election, which is set to be unveiled tomorrow. The section above is particularly moving, telling the tragic stories of a woman “who found it difficult to find work and was forced to take up a zero-hours contract”, as well as another woman “who had her retirement plans ruined and has now lost her independence”. All very unfortunate. Just one problem: these stories are not real and the women do not exist. Despite the apparently personalised stories, there are no names in the draft text, instead the letters “XXX” appear as Team Burnham try to find women who fit the gloomy narrative. Struggling to find case studies for their tales of woe? 

For those interested, here is the draft manifesto in full:

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Burnham Comes Last in Two Manchester Hustings

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Scouser Andy Burnham running for Manchester mayor was always an odd one. The Everton fan’s Twitter stream is full of opposition from local Mancs who would rather have Stretford boy Tony Lloyd in the job. So it’s not surprising that Burnham’s campaign has bombed – he came last in the Co-Op Party hustings last week, and came last again in the Gorton CLP hustings last night. Lloyd won both by a landslide. Maybe Andy’s just too Westminster bubble…

Via Helen Pidd
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Northerners Mock “Grim Up North” Burnham

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Burnham played up his Northern credentials when he threw his hat in the ring to be Labour’s Greater Manchester Mayoral candidate:

“It’s hard growing up in the north: if you say you want to be a doctor, lawyer or MP you get the mickey taken out of you.”

Sounding like the seventh Python won Burnham no favours. A series of prominent Northerners in politics and the media took to Twitter to take t’piss out of the shadow home secretary. Dr Who writer Gareth Roberts tweeted “Ee by ‘eck Andrew so-called Burnham wi’ your la-do-da Labour Party I’ll go t’t foot of our stairs” while Barnsley-born Jack Tindale asked if his running mate would be a “kestrel”. Even a local councillor piled in to tell Burnham to do one…

mdi-timer 19 May 2016 @ 13:13 19 May 2016 @ 13:13 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments