LibDems Looking At Japanese Nerd Porn

freaks

Yesterday in Brighton a top LibDem resigned for arguing careers officers should suggest prostitution as a line of work for voters’ daughters. Today they are focusing on the real issues: Japanese cartoon porn. The party has published a policy document calling for laws to be softened on extreme animé porn known as “hentai“, the Japanese word for “perverted“. Hentai is famously the preferred personal viewing option of nerds around the world, featuring mythical tentacled creatures and Japanese schoolgirls. Which LibDem wants to declare an interest…

The policy document also has this great clause on tiger sex:

“in 2010 a man was sent a pornographic video purporting to be of a tiger and a woman engaging in a sex act but which turned out to be a man dressed as a tiger – a fact that was only uncovered in the courtroom”

In unrelated news, an event this afternoon asks: “Will 2080 be the year we get the next LibDem Prime Minister?”

Farron: “The People Have Spoken, As a Democrat I Accept the Result”

TIM FARRON

Tim Farron, (remember him?), is giving a speech at the IPPR think tank today. He’ll be making the case that the referendum result should be ignored and that Britain should stay in the EU regardless. With a straight face, Farron will say: “we are in danger of letting malevolent forces hijack the result”. Quite.

Farron used to be much so better at accepting defeat. After the 2011 AV referendum, he accepted the result and vowed that “as a democrat” he would always listen to the will of the people. He said it was important not to come across as a “sore loser”.

“The people have spoken. I am very proud that we have given people the opportunity to have a say about the way they elect their MPs. It’s the first time in British history that we, the people, have been able to make such a decision. And, as I said, the people have spoken. As a democrat, I fully accept and respect that result; accept that we failed to bring the country with us on this issue. I could now engage in petty recriminations and try to assert the blame on someone: to paraphrase the Canadian Liberal party leader Michael Ignatieff, the only thing Britons like less than a loser is a sore loser.”

Perhaps 2016 Tim Farron should listen to 2011 Tim Farron…

Rio Judge Orders Arrest of Top Farron Donor

marcus evans

A judge in Rio has ordered the arrest of a top donor to Tim Farron. Marcus Evans, whose firm was previously under fire for selling unlicensed rugby tickets, is one of four men at the centre of a new Olympics touting scandal. His company THG Sports is alleged to have obtained vast quantities of Irish tickets to be resold to the public at exorbitant rates “under the camouflage of hospitality packages.” Pretty much every major sporting event of the last few years has seen Evans, his companies, or one of his employees embroiled in scandal and unseemly allegations. The 2010 football World Cup and Ryder Cup both led to Evans being embroiled in allegations of illegal reselling, even gaining the title “the biggest ticket tout in the world.” What is it with Farron and accepting dodgy cash?

‘Non-Partisan’ More United is LibDem Front Group

more united

This weekend saw the launch of More United, “a tech-driven political startup” which wants a closer relationship with the EU, more immigration and action on climate change. It is as dreary as it sounds – basically all the worst people from the referendum teaming up to virtue signal and cry about losing. Celeb backers include the most frightful bores like Dan Snow and Caroline Criado-Perez. But who is working at More United behind the scenes?

Well, top LibDem Paddy Ashdown is a director. As is Elizabeth Mayhew, Nick Clegg’s former correspondence secretary. Then there is LibDem peer Rumi Verjee. And former LibDem press officer Debbie Gore and HQ staffer Austin Rathe. As well as former LibDem candidate Maajid Nawaz and one time LibDem supporter Sunny Hundal. What a surprise that this collection of metropolitan losers masquerading as a non-partisan political movement is just a front group for tired old LibDems. Why not get former Clegg and BSE spokesman James McGrory in to do the comms? It’s guff like this that lost them the referendum…

Friday Caption Contest (Taxi for Nick Edition)

clegg

Entries in the comments please…

Miriam Goes Off Message

miriam

Miriam Durantez Gonzalez, the arch-Europhile aka Mrs Clegg, blasts Cameron’s renegotiation and warns Brussels is not reforming:

“The European Union is crying for reform. Proper reform. Not that Mickey Mouse negotiation that the Prime Minister did. The biggest reform that the EU needs is growth… In my life I have never gone through another moment when I have thought we are in the history books.”

This is the renegotiation Cameron is asking you to vote on – and even Miriam says it’s Mickey Mouse…

Clegg’s Costless Magical Mystery Tour

clegg-bus

As police confirm they are investigating Nick Clegg’s campaign expenses, Guido thought he would focus on another example of his undeclared costs. Clegg’s battle to retain Sheffield Hallam declared zero expenditure for transport costs, despite paying for loyal activists to travel to campaign for him (as well as paying for their accommodation). Clegg himself traveled around the constituency in a big yellow campaign bus five times according to Press Association reports. Yet he declared not a penny in transport costs!

It can’t be a national campaign cost if he tours his own local constituency – five times. Do they really think we wouldn’t notice a big yellow bus?

pizza party nick clegg

Elsewhere on social media – as with Cat Smith’s campaign manager Ben Singleton – evidence of undeclared campaign spending is being deleted. Too late… we took screenshots.  Also inadvisable to destroy evidence as arguably it could invite a “Conspiracy to Pervert the Course of Justice” charge…

Clegg Failed to Declare Activist Travel Expenses

Nick Clegg did not declare travel expenses for activists who campaigned for him in his constituency, Guido can reveal. On May 2 2015, Clegg held an “Action Weekend” in Sheffield Hallam. Activists were told the event was specifically “to campaign with our amazing leader Nick Clegg”. There is no doubt this was constituency campaigning – the words “Sheffield Hallam” and “Nick Clegg” are in the invite. Activists had their transport costs paid for:

“Accommodation is FREE… We are giving up to £30 towards everyone’s travel costs – just book your travel and we will give you back the full cost up to £30!”

Here is the bombshell: Nick Clegg declared ZERO transport costs in his short campaign:

He also declared nothing for accommodation for activists. The LibDems paid for activists to travel to Nick Clegg’s constituency to campaign for him. This was demonstrably constituency spending. Yet Clegg did not declare their transport or accommodation costs. The police will want to look at this…

Police Receive Multiple Clegg Expenses Complaints

South Yorkshire police have this morning received multiple complaints from members of the public asking them to investigate Nick Clegg’s election spending. Yesterday we revealed how documents in Clegg’s own election return suggested his budget had been surpassed:

Clegg’s lawyers have been in touch to deny that he overspent in his Sheffield Hallam short campaign – they have also sent out threatening letters to newspapers. As with the other parties, the LibDems insist all spending was apportioned correctly to the local and national campaigns. So how do they explain the above document which says in black and white that the Sheffield Hallam budget was exceeded by £17,652?

They claim these figures were based on a budget which “mistakenly included template indicative figures” which “have no relevance whatsoever” to Clegg’s election expenses. Odd since they were filed in Clegg’s official election return. There is no denial that the monies were actually spent during the campaign. In their original official response to our questions, the LibDems made no mention of any “mistake” on their part.

Clegg’s position is that the budget discussed in this spreadsheet was a mistake on their behalf, and that these figures are not relevant. It does seem an odd thing for them to get so badly wrong. Labour sources in the constituency believe he overspent by a considerable sum more than so far revealed, judging by the amount they saw him throwing at the campaign. Clegg says it was all apportioned within the law. Either way, it’s in the hands of the police now…

REVEALED: How Nick Clegg Cooked the Books for £17,652

clegg

Guido can reveal that Nick Clegg overspent by £17,652 in his Sheffield Hallam short campaign, then cooked the books so his declarations came in under the limit. Clegg’s official declarations claim he spent £14,138.77 in his short campaign:

Yet a second internal budget schedule obtained by Guido reveals Clegg’s true expenditure in Sheffield Hallam. This bombshell document admits Clegg actually spent £36,852.89 in his Sheffield Hallam short campaign. Astonishingly, under the column headed “What you’ve got left”, the figure “- £17,652.89” appears. This is prima facie evidence that Clegg broke electoral law – Clegg overspent by over £17,000…

CLEGG2

Clegg disguised his overspend by declaring £14,120.31 of his Sheffield Hallam spending as part of the national campaign. His Election Address – which by statute, namely the Representation of the Peoples Act, explicitly states is for the local candidate’s spend only – was declared as part national spend. His vehicle hire, room hire and agent costs were all declared as national spend. A further £5,913.45 was then “offset” for local elections and future campaigns. This is classic cooking the books – the document we have obtained admits that in reality all this spending was part of the “Sheffield Hallam Short Campaign Budget”.

A LibDem spokesman says spending was apportioned correctly to the national and other local campaigns in Sheffield Hallam:

“The figure of £-17,652 that you refer to is the amount spent above an indicative figure in a draft template budget. It does not relate to spend over and above an election spend limit. Any claim or suggestion of an overspend on the constituency return is misleading and factually inaccurate… We are confident that all spend has been correctly attributed to the appropriate return.”

It’s there in black and white – “What you’ve got left: -£17,652.89” – that looks like the true figure to Guido…

Police Investigating Tessa Munt Election Expenses

Avon and Somerset Police have received several complaints about ex-LibDem MP Tessa Munt following Guido’s story on her election expenses. Munt, who hypocritically attacked the Tories over their spending declarations, herself failed to declare a battle bus which campaigned in her constituency. Asked about the Munt case, the cops tell Guido:

“Avon and Somerset Constabulary have received a number of allegations in relation to improper spending in the 2015 General Election. We will be applying for an extension to the time allowed to investigate and continue to liaise closely with the Electoral Commission.”

They are in court today applying for an extension to investigate local Tory MPs, which will now apply to Tessa too. She says she welcomes the police investigation. The question for all parties is this: If transport benefited both local and national campaigns, why were the costs not split between the local and national spend as required by law?

Munt Admits She Didn’t Declare Local Campaign Transport

Tessa Munt has confirmed to Guido she did not declare any battle bus costs in her local spend, telling us: “Nothing to declare! Leader’s bus different from activists bus all expenses paid.” The Electoral Commission however say that the a party leader’s transport costs, if used for local campaigning, should be split between the local and national spend. She has broken the rules…

Munt says she only jumped on to deliver some cider and cheese to Clegg’s team, sending us a photo that she reckons proves no local campaigning took place. Hilariously – and dishonestly – Munt cropped out the journalist and cameraman from her local paper. This is what she didn’t want us to see:

Clegg gave the local journalist quotes telling constituents to “vote for Tessa” –  that is demonstrably local campaigning. You can see why they were known as the FibDems…

“Cheated” LibDem Pictured Campaigning on Battle Bus

“My constituents should feel cheated,” whinged beaten ex-LibDem MP Tessa Munt to the BBC about the Tory election expenses scandal. The sore loser went even further on her Facebook page:

“The new Tory MP seems to have cheated the people of the Wells Constituency of a fair and just election result last May. Expenses should not be hidden, but be declared as the law requires.”

Oh should they, Tessa…

This photo shows Munt on the LibDem battle bus on May 5 2015. Nick Clegg used the journey to campaign specifically for Munt, resulting in not one but two stories in her local paper. Clegg told them:

“if you vote for Tessa, not only will you get a wonderful MP, but someone who is a member of a party who wants to balance the books”

Clearly this was both local and national campaigning. The Electoral Commission says the cost of such travel for a party leader and candidate should be split between the local and national spend:

“If the travel promotes both the local candidate and national policies, then a portion of the cost of that bus should be allocated towards the candidate’s spending limit and a portion towards the party’s national spending limit.”

Yet the LibDem battle bus was declared wholly as a national expense. Maybe Munt should take a look at her own failed campaign – and her own election expenses – before crying about how she was “cheated”…

LibDem Who Complained to Police About Tory Election Fraud Broke Spending Rules

Former LibDem MP Adrian Sanders has been at the forefront of police complaints about election spending fraud. He even wrote a template letter for concerned constituents to dob candidates in to the cops:

“The criminal offence allegations if proven are very serious indeed. They may have determined who governs our country. It strikes at the very heart of democracy. It therefore affects everyone whether or not they reside in one of the constituencies mentioned in the media. If you want to help get this matter investigated a letter along the following lines to your Chief Constable might assist…”

Oh really…

The Representation of the People’s Act 1983 states that only candidates can send Election Addresses to voters. It explicitly says that only “a candidate” can “send free of charge for postage” an election communication, and that these must be candidate-specific rather than part of the national campaign. The Royal Mail confirm “a candidate mailing that is designed to secure the election… in another electoral constituency is unacceptable“. By definition candidates’ Election Addresses are therefore local spend and must be declared as such…

Adrian Sanders has confirmed to Guido that this was his invoice for his Election Return. As you can see, the £4,900 cost was split between national and local spend, in manifest breach of the rules:

When Guido phoned up Sanders to ask for an explanation, he angrily replied:

“You’d better report me to the police then. If you think there is an error here, report me to the police.”

He then hung up. If he’d declared it correctly, he’d have been £783 over the maximum limit…

Proof LibDem Battle Bus Did Transport Activists

libs

Following this morning’s story, a LibDem HQ spin-doctor categorically denied their battle bus was ever used to transport activists across the country:

“The only bus we ever had was Nick’s tour bus, which carried journalists and his staff, which is different to offering transport to bring activists into a seat to campaign. I would’ve loved to have the extra money to spend on transporting activists, but it simply didn’t happen.”

The LibDem spokesman insisted a Guardian report claiming the bus was used to transport activists “was wrong”. 

Here is photographic evidence of the LibDem battle bus being used to transport activists:

lib dem battle bus

According to LibDemVoice, these pictures show “Chipping Barnet candidate Marisha Ray and friends about to board“. Inside was campaigner “Alex Feakes and his daughter”. The article even confirms where these activists were ferried: “The bus’s maiden voyage took it from London to Oxford West and Abingdon”. These people aren’t Clegg’s team or members of the press. The LibDem battle bus demonstrably was used to transport activists, despite the party saying “this simply didn’t happen”. You just can’t trust those lying LibDems…

Top LibDem Avoided Overspend By Not Declaring Battle Bus

This video shows the LibDem election battle bus rocking up in Duncan Hames’ Chippenham constituency on April 29 2015. At the time the Guardian reported the bus was used by the LibDems to ferry activists from London to constituencies around the country so they could deliver leaflets. It was used for local campaigning in individual seats, just like the buses hired by the Tories and Labour

Below is the short campaign spending return submitted by Duncan Hames. Despite the bus being used for his local campaign, Hames declared Nil transport costs:

As you can see, Hames’ spending limit for the short campaign was £15,236.61. He came very close to the limit, within just £98, spending £15,138.20. If he had declared the bus in his short campaign spend, Hames would have breached the rules. This is therefore going to be a particularly tricky one to explain. The Tories were at it, so were Labour, and so were the LibDems…

UPDATE: Despite briefing the Guardian that the bus “will take party campaigners around the country over the next six weeks running up to the general election”, the LibDems now deny that ever happened and say this bus was only ever used by Clegg, his staff and press, and no door-knockers. Worth reading the Guardian report of the bus tour however:

“Activists, the majority of whom had been bussed up from London, visited nearby residential streets to deliver leaflets and put up the 300th Lib Dem stake board in the constituency.”

The LibDems say that report was wrong and all of this didn’t happen…

Tim Farron Met With Wall of Groans

The name “Tim Farron” is met with a wall of groans from the Tory benches. Cameron swatted him away with minimal effort…

David “The Jews” Ward Elected in Bradford

Labour’s anti-Semitism crisis has not affected their performance in Bradford, where suspended “zio” hater Mohammed Shabbir comfortably held his seat. Intriguingly he won more votes this time round, since his comments came to light…

LibDem David Ward has also returned to elected office, joining Shabbir and co on what must be a very tolerant and progressive Bradford council. Ward is of course the disgraced former MP who ranted about “the Jews” and the Holocaust time and time again, even while he was a candidate a few months ago. The party did nothing then and they’ve done nothing now. A reminder that the LibDems have an even worse record on dealing with anti-Semitism than Corbyn’s Labour…

LibDems Suspend Thanet Candidate Over Dodgy Donations

George EU Swizzle

Last night Channel 4 further explored allegations of Tory election expense fiddles, interviewing angry LibDems in the South West who claimed it played a part in their wipeout there. Well it appears the LibDems themselves have some questions to answer…

Guido understands the party has suspended its parliamentary candidate for Thanet North from their candidates list. George Cunningham faces a string of allegations of impropriety, including claims that he attempted to bring in donations from abroad during the general election campaign. Cunningham is the chair of Brussels & Europe LibDems…

The irregularities were noticed by his agent who kicked off a long “review” process that eventually saw Cunningham struck off the list controlled by LDHQ’s Candidates Office. He denies the allegations and has launched an appeal, which will be heard on Friday 13 May. What is it with fiddles in Thanet?

Farron Bankrolled By Disgraced Rwanda Spinners

Farron Rwanda

Tim Farron has accepted a £2,000 donation from a disgraced lobbying company which smeared critics of the Rwandan government. BTP Advisers boss Mark Pursey, who used to work for the LibDems, was caught boasting how his firm set up an “attack site” targeting people who “over-criticised” over “who did what in the genocide”.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Alan Sugar on Jeremy Corbyn:

“It’s clear you alluded to students refunds to get votes from young impressionable people. You are a cheat and should resign.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Watch: Caracas Corbyn’s Venezuela Shame Watch: Caracas Corbyn’s Venezuela Shame
Ignore Remain Spin: Tory Leavers Support Transition Ignore Remain Spin: Tory Leavers Support Transition
Monbiot Fouls Up on Chlorine Chicken Monbiot Fouls Up on Chlorine Chicken
Now Abi Slurs Cancer-Stricken John McCain Now Abi Slurs Cancer-Stricken John McCain
Diane Abbott Tweets Fake May Quote Diane Abbott Tweets Fake May Quote
Labour’s Brexit Shambles Labour’s Brexit Shambles
Stop the War Getting Free Tours at Imperial War Museum Stop the War Getting Free Tours at Imperial War Museum
WATCH: We Fixed Momentum’s Nepotism Video WATCH: We Fixed Momentum’s Nepotism Video
Anti-Grammar Labour MP Sent Sons to Grammar School Anti-Grammar Labour MP Sent Sons to Grammar School
Petrol and Diesel Ban Hypocrites Petrol and Diesel Ban Hypocrites
Abi Says Is Abi Exempt from 100% Inheritance Tax Abi Says Is Abi Exempt from 100% Inheritance Tax
Former MP Abusing Parliamentary Pass Former MP Abusing Parliamentary Pass
Exclusive: New Government Appointments in Full Exclusive: New Government Appointments in Full
Corbyn Deletes Another Wrong Tweet Corbyn Deletes Another Wrong Tweet
Everything is Awesome for Manufacturing Everything is Awesome for Manufacturing
HMT Predictions Way Off HMT Predictions Way Off
#DespiteBrexit: A Classic of the Genre #DespiteBrexit: A Classic of the Genre
Hat-Trick of Brexit Good News Hat-Trick of Brexit Good News
Guido’s Student Debt Story on Standard Front Page Guido’s Student Debt Story on Standard Front Page
Watch: Shadow Minister Makes Student Debt Promise Watch: Shadow Minister Makes Student Debt Promise