Lib Dem Leadership: Runners and Riders

If you’ve just woken up, Guido has the joyful task of informing you Jo Swinson hasn’t become Prime Minister. From bullishly calling the election along with the Tories and SNP, to running a presidential-style campaign before they realised their leader would end the campaign less popular than Corbyn. Now, as a result of losing her own seat to the SNP, Swinson has stood down and a leadership contest is underway. Guido brings you the runners and riders…

  • Ed Davey – 10/11
    • Former leadership candidate. Would the Lib Dems be desperate enough to go for someone they thought was worse than Swinson?… 
  • Layla Moran – 2/1
  • Wera Hobhouse – 9/1
    • Born in Germany, she’s big on the Brexit message. Although that doesn’t matter now does it…
  • Sarah Olney – 16/1
    • Former MP, weird looking, failed to spell the name of her constituency accurately on her flyers, fired by Vince Cable. A record to be proud of…
  • Alistair Carmichael – 14/1
    • An MP since 2001 and someone about whom there are no further interesting facts. Maybe the public forgetting about the Lib Dems would be an improvement on active distain…
  • Tim Farron – 33/1
    • Perhaps he feels he wants to give it a go again…
  • Christine Jardine – 16/1
    • Scottish. One of the Lib Dem’s most competent media performers. A statement that means basically nothing…
  • Jamie Stone – 20/1
    • Previous practice attempt with Lib Dem youth #LetsGetStoned campaign. Being stoned might help put people in the mindset to vote Lib Dem…
  • Wendy Chamberlain – N/A
    • Unlike her Prime Ministerial namesake, this Chamberlain scored a victory against nationalists last night. Not the highest bar of victory given she only had a 2-vote SNP majority to beat…
  • Daisy Cooper – N/A
    • Another rare Lib Dem gain from last night. After a lot of googling it looks like she previously campaigned with the ‘Save the St Albans Pubs’ campaign for two-and-a-half years. Appropriate as leading the Lib Dems will lead you to drink…
  • Munira Wilson
    • Honestly not a clue about this one. 

An unenviable task for Lib Dem members – get ready to start comparing beige with other tinges of forgettable beige…

mdi-timer 13 December 2019 @ 13:00 13 Dec 2019 @ 13:00 mdi-comment Comments
Friday Caption Contest (LibDem Leaflet Edition)

mdi-timer 6 December 2019 @ 12:30 6 Dec 2019 @ 12:30 mdi-comment Comments
LibDem Head of Press Rosy Cobb Suspended by Party

Channel 4 News covered  the LibDem staffer who’s been suspended, after they were caught red-handed forging a back-dated email, to try and back up a legal threat over a story the LibDems wanted to suppress, on their selling their voter data to the Britain Stronger in Europe campaign. Which morphed into the People’s Vote…

The LibDem press office has been spinning for days that it’s “just a very junior person gone rogue” – see the report in The Guardian, simply describing them as a “campaigner”, like they were some lowly volunteer. Guido can reveal it is actually the party’s Head of Media, Rosy Cobb, who forged the email, and who’s now been suspended, pending a full investigation. 

Rosy has taken down her Twitter account, as well as her LinkedIn account. Guido warned the LibDems about Rosy’s lack of any media experience when she took over as the party’s press chief last year. The now discredited legal threats over the original article came from Goodman Derrick acting on behalf of “Our clients: The Liberal Democrats Party and Ms Joanne Swinson”. The paper trail shows this must have been signed off right from the top… 

mdi-timer 3 December 2019 @ 11:29 3 Dec 2019 @ 11:29 mdi-comment Comments
Swinson: I Inhaled and I Liked It

For once a politician says they enjoyed their drug experiences. Sometimes when politicians talk about historic – and it always historic – drug experiences they make it out it was some kind of terrible ordeal. Which kind of begs the question why did they do it? In truth the reason millionaire rock stars do sex and drugs is because they like it and it is pleasurable. Drug prohibitionists never talk about the millions of people who enjoy doing drugs on the weekend and go to work on Monday without harming anyone else. The problems only come when people overdo it and become addicted.

The LibDems’ manifesto includes a commitment to legalise cannabis for personal consumption, with licensed and quality controlled supplies bringing an end to the carnage on the streets from criminal gangs fighting turf wars for the profits of a contraband commodity in high demand. Police forces have effectively already stopped prosecuting cannabis consumers, with many senior police officers more or less openly advocating legalisation. Labour are wary of supporting liberalisation because they fear it will be an attack line from the Tories. About time the Tories stopped doing drugs in private and criminalising the public for the same…

mdi-timer 21 November 2019 @ 09:15 21 Nov 2019 @ 09:15 mdi-comment Comments
Lib Dem Candidate Vying to Become Britain’s Funniest MP

The Lib Dem’s candidate in their target seat of North Cornwall fancies himself as a bit of a twitter comedian. Danny Chambers’ Twitter account is full to brim with a host of hilarious jokes, most of which haven’t received the attention they deserve. So Guido thought he would share Danny’s comedy with a wider audience…

Classic little-European Lib Dem mindset…

Guido isn’t sure Danny’s anti-vegan take will go down with his woke party…

The Lib Dems held the seat up until 2015. Maybe anti-woke Danny is what they need to win again in south-west Brexitland…

UPDATE: Sadly he’s started deleting – lucky we kept a record…

mdi-timer 5 November 2019 @ 15:31 5 Nov 2019 @ 15:31 mdi-comment Comments
Lib Dems’ New Shameless Leaflet Claims

Lib Dem leaflets famously always stretch the truth as far as they can. However this year’s cohort of letterbox literature includes a whole new level of post-truth statements. Makes tuition fees pale into insignificance…

Despite only just defecting from the Tories, Phillip Lee’s leaflets have performed a Stalinist erasure of his recent right-wing past. The leaflet implies the election is a close choice between the Tories and the LibDems, despite the LibDems coming 24,000 votes behind John Redwood in 2017, and 6,000 behind Labour.Moving over to Streatham, the Lib Dems hilariously try and explain that their current “popular local Lib Dem MP” – yes, that is Chuka Umunna they’re referring to – is “moving on at the next election”.

They fail to mention he’s carpetbagging over to the seat of Westminster because he doesn’t stand a chance of winning in his current seat when voters finally get their say…

mdi-timer 24 October 2019 @ 15:21 24 Oct 2019 @ 15:21 mdi-comment Comments
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