It’s not often Guido commends residents of Brighton for their voting habits. After failing to win up north in Sheffield Central Eddie/Suzy Izzard has again been snubbed by local Labour members in a selection vote. It looks like his “many progressive” victories weren’t enough to convince Brighton Labour members that she should get the seat selection. They came second to indie rock musician Tom Gray. Even Izzard’s promise to campaign via zoom from New York wasn’t enough to swing the members…

Guido can now update Suzy’s stellar track record – of losing at every turn. A reminder of his losing campaigns:

• Join the euro
• Elect Ken Livingstone
• Elect Gordon Brown
• Vote Yes in the AV referendum
• Elect Ed Miliband
• Elect Andy Burnham as Labour leader
• Remain in the EU
• Run for Labour’s NEC
• Elect Jeremy Corbyn
• End restrictions on Westminster street performers
• Get the Labour selection in Sheffield Central
• Get the Labour selection in Brighton Pavilion

Better luck for the next go Eddie – maybe the West Country?

Just Stop Oil has come to the end of its second year of operation without much to show for it apart from racking up £20 million in Metropolitan Police costs. That might be why the eco-guerrillas are planning to go regional as a “household name synonymous with orange powder” and harass local Labour candidates while they campaign for election. Guido’s not convinced their reception will be quite as accommodating in Leeds as in London…

Guido’s been having a read through the middle-class hobbyists’ new 2024 strategy document which is focused on haranguing Labour candidates until they agree to revoke newly granted oil and gas licences, including new Tory licences like Rosebank. Central “strategy teams” will visit “regional mobilisation” units to develop area-specific protest strategy. Just Stop Oil is very specific that “the targets will be Labour politicians for regional actions“. They also plan to “adopt some of the language being used around the Gazan atrocity” to give their messaging a new pizzaz. Wiping the smirk off Labour faces…

Infighting continues in Labourland, as Diane Abbott wrote a scathing letter last night to her own party, claiming that she “will not get a fair hearing” in the racism investigation into her because… of racism. The Labour MP had the whip withdrawn over her notorious comments about Jewish people to the Observer. Rebuking the party’s investigation, she wrote:

“The internal Labour Party disciplinary against me is fraudulent…As a Black woman, and someone on the left of the Labour Party, I have unfortunately been forced to reach the conclusion that I will not get a fair hearing from this Labour leadership.”

Her close friend Jeremy Corbyn was quick to her defence, claiming that the “the latest stitch up” against Abbott a “disgrace“. Fellow Labour lefty MP Beth Winter joined in, calling the party’s candidate selection process “undemocratic and discriminatory” after she lost out to a front bench colleague. Government in waiting…

This morning Labour are talking tough on “smashing Channel migrant gangs” to stop the boats, vowing to treat traffickers like terrorists by freezing assets and restricting their movements. While Starmer appears in both The Sun and The Times to sell his migrant deal to voters, the Conservatives are already on the counterattack: not only does the deal junk the Rwanda plan, it opens the door to thousands of EU migrants in exchange for a new borders agreement with Brussels. Starmer is willing to accept a share of asylum seekers in return for the EU taking back migrants who arrive via small boats. Labour insist this is up for negotiation, which is code for ‘yes’…

Stamer told The Times this morning:

“We effectively exited the returns agreement we were in and have never replaced it. The first job is to secure the borders and make sure we are the ones determining who comes to this country.”

The Tories claim this would amount to around 100,000 EU asylum seekers a year, based on a Council of the EU document produced in June which says that distribution of migrants within a sharing agreement should be based “on the size of the population and the economy of the Member State”. The figure could go even higher if the migration crisis worsens. 100,000 more migrants a year, and 100,000 fewer homes built after Labour opposed the scrapping of the EU derived nutrient neutrality laws…

Labour seem to be beefing up their crackdown on scandal-ridden candidates, as the party has launched a safeguarding hiring spree. The party is advertising for a safeguarding manager and safeguarding officer – with both roles coming with responsibility over safeguarding investigations. The new hires will have quite a job on their hands…

There are currently a handful of Labour MPs who have lost the whip, pending investigation, and some of these have dragged on for well over a year. This is without mentioning John Bercow, whose Labour fate has hung in the balance for over 18 months. Looks like they can use all the help they can get.
Co-conspirators up for the challenge can find the details here.

The Electoral Commission has published the latest accounts for the UK’s main political parties in the year ending December 2022. Labour were far out ahead, raking in £47,171,000 compared to the Tories’ £30,682,000. The Tories made a near £2.3 million loss, spending £33,062,000. Admittedly Rishi never pledged to cut the deficit within the party…

Labour’s books are looking much healthier than the previous year – Sir Keir’s prawn cocktail offensive with big business must be paying off. In 2021 they made a £5 million loss, in large part thanks to plummeting membership numbers. For 2022 their outgoings were a whopping £44,450,000, though that still puts them roughly £2.7 million in the green for the year. The LibDems and the SNP also made losses, with the LibDems losing £753,788, and the Nationalists losing roughly £800,000. That’s a lot of motorhomes.