Rishi has learnt from the furore surrounding his £490 Prada driving shoes from a previous press trip and has swapped them today for a pair of Timberland AF6s.  Though they do give off a construction-worker-chic vibe, they would not be allowed on a building site because they do not meet health and safety standards due to the lack of steel toe-caps. These boots are really made for helicoptering with a more modest price tag of only £150. In the children’s sizes they can, if you shop around, be found for as little as £59…

Labour MP Kim Johnson certainly turned heads at the picket line yesterday.  Standing in solidarity with the junior doctors campaigning for a 35% pay rise, Johnson took “striking” to a new level, as she posed with a chic beige & nut brown Gucci handbag, accented with leather trim and light fine gold hardware. The perfect look for picket line posing. All for a cool £1,500 from Profile Fashion…

Guido presumes Johnson’s stumped up for the real deal. Especially given the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau warns against buying counterfeit goods as “many fraudsters use the proceeds […] to fund drug dealing or other types of organised crime.” Get the look, get it right…

GB News viewers may have noticed the on-screen talent have made a few sartorial improvements since the turn of the year, with Tom Harwood even – for the first time ever – wearing a tie to present his show each morning. Guido learns this isn’t a personal wardrobe choice, with bosses telling hosts it’s time to “smarten up” for the new year, so ties and top buttons are now mandatory. Still, it’s not all bad news for Tom et al. – yesterday Guido revealed they’ve overtaken LBC in YouTube subscribers…

Angela Rayner has finally ditched the Bet Lynch leggings and chunky Doc Martins look of old. Standing in for Sir Keir at today’s PMQs, Labour’s Deputy Leader debuted a swanky new ‘Evrely Bodycon’ dress from Ted Baker that “skims in all the right places“, and features an all-over Highgrove print that’s sure to turn heads at any occasion. Co-conspirators hoping to steal the look might have to wait a while, though: the dress is now sold out across most retailers following a 55% price cut from £179. When it’s finally back in stock, it could be yours for a mere £80.50 or 4 weeks of social credit cuts. Looks like Angie grabbed a serious bargain…

Democrat Congresswoman and professional attention seeker Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez un-ironically wore a custom-made ‘tax the rich’ dress at the $35,000-per-ticket and $200,000-per-table Met Gala ball. Isn’t that rich….

AOC attended the ball with designer Aurora James, who specialises in “luxury accessories”, and whose typical clientele includes Beyonce, Meghan Markle, Lady Gaga, and Katy Perry. With Aurora’s shoes typically costing upwards of $1,000, co-conspirators can assume that AOC was sporting a high five-figure look. In an interview the self-described socialist explained that the dress explores:

“… what it means to be working-class women of colour at the Met. We can’t just play along, but we need to break the fourth wall and challenge some of the institutions.” 

Still, the videos of AOC at the Met Ball garnered millions of views on social media for America’s doyenne politico-influencer…

A new report suggests that eco-warrior Carrie is actually damaging the planet by renting clothes. The new study, published by the Finnish scientific journal Environment Research Letters, argues that renting clothes has a higher climate impact than simply throwing them away once the hidden environmental costs of packaging, delivering and dry cleaning them are also accounted. According to the boffins from the Department of Sustainability Science at LUT University, renting clothes was the worst option with the highest global warming potential (GWP). Wearing the same clothes for extended periods had the lowest GWP. Fashion is just bad for the planet.

This will come as terrible news to climate-conscious Carrie, who notably rented her Christos Costarellos wedding dress for just £45. In fact, Mrs. Johnson ordered several decoy dresses alongside her dress of choice in order to keep the real dress a secret. Imagine the unnecessary damage those decoy dresses had on the environment… 

To add salt to the wound, Carrie also rented all of her outfits for the G7 summit, where world leaders pontificated about the importance of tackling climate change. Wearing the same thing twice would be more sustainable, though a little less fashionable. The only truly net zero solution is to grow your own clothes…