His Holiness has come out against Charlie Hebdo, saying he doesn’t believe in freedom of expression. AP reports:

“By way of example, he referred to Alberto Gasparri, who organizes papal trips and was standing by his side aboard the papal plane.

“If my good friend Dr. Gasparri says a curse word against my mother, he can expect a punch,” Francis said, throwing a pretend punch his way. “It’s normal. You cannot provoke. You cannot insult the faith of others. You cannot make fun of the faith of others.””

Very Old Testament Christian. Hardly the most helpful time for any religious leader to be endorsing violence against people who criticise religion either. So much for turning the other cheek…

That’s more like it.

The former Defence Secretary has even done a video to accompany his card, explaining why he won’t apologise for loving Jesus:

Take that ISIS!

Rev Ian Paisley has surrendered this mortal coil.

Guido fears when St Peter introduces him to St John Paul II he is going to be very disappointed…

UPDATE:

Very sad to learn that Ian Paisley has died.My deepest sympathy to his wife Eileen & family.Once political opponents – I have lost a friend.

— Martin McGuinness (@M_McGuinness_SF) September 12, 2014

For the first time ever, Chris Patten has acknowledged that there is an earthly being higher even than him. Fat Pang has taken a job as a spinner for the Pope, where among other things he will advise His Holiness on how to make his Twitter account a bit less… Pope-y. Good thing he has plenty of experience working for an organisation with an impressive record at covering up child abuse…

And lo, it was Eastertide, and David spake unto the Church Times that Britain was indeed a Christian country. And it came to pass that godless pinkos wrote unto the Telegraph that David had sinned, for he had offended them. Despite 59% of Britons describing themselves as Christians in the most recent census, Britain having an established church and the Head of State being nominally still the Defender of the Anglican Faith.

The signatories to the letter – among them Labour donor Ken Follett, Labour peers Baroness Whittaker and Lord O’Neill, Labour-supporting QC Geoffrey Bindman, former Welsh Labour AM Lorraine Barrett, Denis MacShane’s ex Joan Smith, and Polly Toynbee – are very angry about Dave using the phrase “Christian country“. Apparently saying so “fosters alienation and division in our society“. For some reason they did not feel the need to write a letter to a national newspaper ten days ago, when Ed “One Nation” Miliband on a visit to Israel said that Britain was quote

“a Christian country”

Using religion for partisan political ends? Who would do such a thing?

Nigel Farage, who cynics think is the real catalyst for Cameron’s recent remarks on traditional Christian values, has just told viewers of ITV’s Daybreak “I’ve been saying for years that Britain should be more muscular in its Christianity.” Cameroon modernisers and their friends in the commentariat think that Dave talking about faith will impress older UKIP voters put off by the government’s advocacy of gay marriage. Shows their cluelessness…

Today is Holy Thursday, when the Queen traditionally offers alms known as Maundy money to deserving senior citizens. Scholars say “Maundy” comes from Jesus; “Mandatum novum do vobis ut diligatis invicem sicut dilexi vos”, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you”. Monarchs by tradition also washed the feet of the poor as Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. Jesus also said that “You will always have the poor with you and can help them whenever you want.” Which brings Guido to foodbanks and socialism.

Socialists believe in the perfectibility of man, a doctrine going back to Rousseau, that people are capable of achieving perfection on earth through social means, without the grace of God. Unlike Jesus they don’t believe that the poor will always necessarily be with us. Foodbanks are mostly run by charities, many Christian inspired. The genuine anger from the left at the expansion of foodbanks is matched only by their incomprehension that some think their growth is a good thing and a sign that Christianity survives in an increasingly secular Britain. Christian help for the poor is an imperative given to them by their faith… 

If like many socialists you believe society can be perfected, foodbanks are a sign of society’s failure. If like most Christians you believe the poor will always be with us, then foodbanks are the successful application of the teachings of Jesus. Guido doesn’t believe in socialism or the perfectibility of man, so sees the expansion of foodbanks as a good thing for the poor. Politically Labour are trying to capitalise on foodbanks, whereas in America Obama rolls up his sleeves and has photo ops helping out at foodbanks. It seems to Guido that Labour either should come out and say openly that they want to see higher welfare transfer payments to the poor or do some real community organising and help out at foodbanks rather than just moan about them. Happy Easter…