Back in November Gaia reported that climate change was great news for the production of bubbly in the Champagne region of France. The temperature increase there has reduced frost damage, resulting in bigger harvests and tastier, more alcoholic champagne. But what about those not fond of the fizz?

Good news! Boffins at NASA have undertaken some very important research into the link between climate change and wine quality, and it turns out that global warming is only serving to further improve the quality of French wine. The NASA study found climate change is shifting wine grape harvests earlier in France and Switzerland, leading to the increased production of better quality wines, typically associated with earlier harvests. Ben Cook, lead author and climate scientist at NASA’s Goddard Institute for Space Studies, said:

“Wine grapes are one of the world’s most valuable horticultural crops and there is increasing evidence that climate change has caused earlier harvest days in this region in recent decades. Our research suggests that the climate drivers of these early harvests have changed.”

In other words: the hotter it gets, the better the wine tastes. If we’re all going to drown as sea levels rise, at least we can do it while sipping a bloody good vintage!

December’s Paris Agreement heralded a massive $100 billion per year climate fund for third world nations, paid for in part out of the public purse. The fund nobly aims to help “particularly vulnerable countries, including Least Developed Countries, Small Island Developing States and African States.” So, who is after the cash?

States requesting financial aid include ruthless dictatorships such as Angola and Sudan, who want a whopping $12.88 billion. Sure every penny of that will be truthfully accounted for…

Robert Mugabe’s Zimbabwe is also applying for the climate cash. The state run Zimbabwean Herald yesterday bemoaned that $100 billion is nowhere near enough, and that Zimbabwe alone needs $10 billion. Would pay for a few Learjets… 

Bernie Sanders’ big brother has been unveiled as the Green Party’s new health spokesperson. 81 year-old Sanders got the gig as part of the party’s annual spokesperson refresh, and was keen to liken his brother to the party, saying “Bernie’s main platform is almost identical to the Green Party’s”. God help America…

In perhaps the most bizarre justification for staying in the EU yet, a group of academics and environmental officials have written to Environment Secretary Liz Truss arguing that Brexit would cause significant damage to the UK environment:

“Britain’s membership of the European Union has had a hugely positive effect on the quality of Britain’s beaches, our water and rivers, our air and many of our rarest birds, plants and animals and their habitats. Being part of the Union has enabled us to co-ordinate action and agree policies that have improved our quality of life, including the air we breathe, the seas we fish in, and have protected the wildlife which crosses national boundaries”.

It’s surprising to hear the EU is so beneficial to the environment considering the estimated 19,000 tonnes of CO2 that MEPs rack up each year nipping between Brussels and Strasbourg. And who knew the birds and the bees were so dependent on the EU? One wonders just how the wildlife of the UK survived before 1973…

The SNP have long tied their hopes to the price of oil and, now it’s under $30 a barrel, Sturgeon is pushing for big oil tax breaks. As tax policy is made in Westminster, Scottish Finance Minister John Swinney has scheduled an “urgent meeting” with Osborne. This is despite the Chancellor announcing £1.7 billion pounds worth of tax breaks for oil and gas last year…

The SNP suspended new coal bed methane and fracking sites in Scotland last year, killing off a growing industry in its infancy. Now they want Osborne to pay big oil for their mistake. Tax breaks for big business while eternally delaying fracking decisions – why don’t the SNP just go and join the Tories?

Leonardo DiCaprio has made an error of Titanic proportions by mouthing off at the World Economic Forum in Davos. The Hollywood A-lister sternly warned the not so great and not so good that “our planet cannot be saved unless we leave fossil fuels in the ground where they belong”. Noble sentiments indeed, intended to force business leaders to take a Revolutionary Road to a lower emissions planet…

He went on to rail at the “corporate greed” of “entities with a financial interest in preserving this destructive system”, admirably lambasting the Wolves of Wall Street. Of course he didn’t mention that he’s earned a cool $250 million in his career, greedily demanding $25 million for one film alone. Isn’t that more than a Blood Diamond is worth?

Unfortunately poor Leo seems to have something of a sweet tooth when it comes to plane travel, in particular private jets. Accordingly the actor regularly jets around the world, even managing to use the services of one of Sony’s jets six times in six weeks. Well who can blame him – he wanted to get to The Beach at his private Shutter Island, so he hopped on the nearest available jet and Departed. Indeed Guido wonders how his colleagues in the film industry even keep up with globetrotting Leo – Catch Him If You Can, Scorcese.

This all came as quite a shock to Guido, who remembers him saying back in 2007 that he’d swapped the jetsetting for hybrid cars and solar panels. In the light of such staggering hypocrisy, some might say he’s The Great Twatsby…