Offord's Legislative Hiccup

As the Legal Aid Sentencing and Punishment of Offenders Bill makes it way through Parliament, honorable Members are having fun tacking bits and bobs to the legislation. Tory MP Matthew Offord has inserted a new clause calling for mandatory sobriety for those involved in alcohol related criminality.

Presumably this will be applicable to those involved in scotch fuelled scuffles at Tory conference?

Open a Beer, Sit Back, Turn Up the Volume, Sing-a-Long…

Happy Coming Out Day!

Today is National Coming Out Day!

It’s a transatlantic awareness day for coming out and discussion about people who are gay that is held on October 12 every year.

Happy chatting and good luck!

Boris: King of the Shaggers

Boris might not want to go campaigning near Camden Lock for a few weeks. Controversal extra-marital affairs dating agency Ashleymadison.com have found a new face for their service. Testing the all good publicity notion to the extreme…

Via The Drum.

Feeling the Love

Guido was beginning to get a little disappointed at the lack of vitriol against him at his first ever Labour conference visit, though that soon changed as the sun went down and the beer started flowing last night. Popping in to pay his respects to the great and good  at last night’s Guardian party, Guido’s face to face encounters with some blog favourites are worth recollecting. It would be fair to say Luciana Berger isn’t a happy reader and doesn’t find jokes about the Ferry ‘cross the Mersey funny. On the other hand  MumsNet’s mum-in-chief Justine Thompson confessed she voted for Guido #1 in the Total Politics blog awards. It’s the blog they love to hate…

Hugh Grant added some stardust to the affair, though Guido was a little sad not to get his moment and a chance to chat about the Cayman Islands, hypocrisy and hedge funds with either Polly or Alan Rusbridger. Security on the door was tight, and no sign of Draper. Perhaps after it took twenty minutes to argue his way in to the New Statesman party the night before he decided not to bother even trying…

UPDATE: A co-conspirator points reminds Guido that the funniest moment at the Guardian reception was watching Dr Death (Evan Harris) look daggers at Chris Bryant when he spirited Hugh Grant away from him. Later on Dawn Butler took pictures of Hugh with Emily Thornberry. Hugh has form for lively black girls, so Dawn probably thought she stood a chance. Not with Bryant and Evan there!

Snorting Sarah's Sexy Secrets

It seems Coke & Sex Week has gone international, with another prominent right-winger’s past being flung into the public eye. This one is going to be huge. Sarah Palin is accused of having a one night stand in 1987, behind her soon to be husband’s back, with 6ft 7in NBA player Glen Rice. The tryst allegedly took place in her sister Molly’s dorm room at the University of Alaska. Palin was a sports reporter at the time. However that’s not all:

“The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin by the respected if controversial author, Joe McGinniss, claims Palin was seen snorting cocaine off the top of a 55-gallon drum while snowmobiling with friends. It also alleges she smoked marijuana with a professor while at Mat-Su College in Alaska.”

Brad Hanson, Todd Palin’s business partner is also accused of sleeping with the former Alaskan governor in 1996. Unlike with a certain Tory Chancellor, at least it seems Palin wasn’t so stupid as to be caught grinning in front a plate of charlie. This might not go down so well with the hockey moms, but Guido is certainly amused…

Natalie Rowe Interview Video

Gallows humour amongst Osborne’s people yesterday. The story goes that they were answering calls from hacks with a quizzical “banking or spanking?”

UPDATE: Guido is trying to track down the audio, but Natalie Rowe was just on LBC suggesting that the Chancellor has “a lot to answer for”.

Full Audio of Natalie Rowe Regarding Osborne / Coke / Coulson

Tory MP's Model Daughter and the Facebook Mob

Just when the Tories abandoned their plans to ban Facebook, you can bet one backbench MP is cursing social media after a hundred-strong mob crashed his daughter’s party at their £2.25 million home. Neighbours described the event as “very noisy” and “an awful experience”. Kirby has a slender 1,328 majority…

Aspiring model Briony Kirby, daughter of the Tory MP for Brighton Kempton, Simon Kirby, called the coppers as the gatecrashers got out of hand. Her mother, who was on holiday when things got out of hand, told the Mail “These days, you have Facebook and mobile phones. You’re just stumped.” Ban it!

Ministry of Pound

The April to June party funding figures are out today and providing something to do during recess for Whitehall correspondents:

Nothing like a little donation to keep the local MP happy with all the noise and drugs around Elephant and Castle… isn’t that right Mr Hughes?

UPDATE: Guido revealed back in 2006 that Simon Hughes ran his leadership bid from the club and is good mates with the owner.

Phillip Hammond's Sofa Scandal

In news that doesn’t really shock Guido, he reads today that Phillip Hammond’s rather comfortable ministerial sofa in the Department of Transport was refitted at a cost to the taxpayer of nearly £5,000.

The Standard’s Craig Woodhouse reports that it was apparently cheaper to replace the oatmeal upholstery rather than buy a new set of sofas.

Guido can exclusively confirm, after some in-depth research, that the new comfy material is a rather fetching shade of green…

Who Is Peter Thiel?

Peter Thiel has had one of the best reactions to reading Atlas Shrugged that Guido has ever seen. The PayPal founder has poured $1.25m into the Seasteading Institute, which the Mail describes as “an organization that aspires to launch a floating colony into international waters, freeing them and like-minded thinkers to live by Libertarian ideals.”

Though some are already shouting “crazy” at him, Thiel seems pretty confident:

“…there are quite a lot of people who think it’s not possible. That’s a good thing. We don’t need to really worry about those people very much, because since they don’t think it’s possible they won’t take us very seriously. And they will not actually try to stop us until it’s too late.”

Who’s up for Guido Island?

How to Handle a Story

It’s rare that a press release makes Guido laugh. Normally it would take the fake exchange of kind words between a PM and a outgoing Cabinet member, but Louise Mensch’s hit the mark.  This allegation was put to Mensch, née Bagshawe by investigative hack David Jones:

Whilst working at EMI, in the 1990s, you took drugs with Nigel Kennedy at Ronnie Scott’s in Birmingham, including dancing on a dance floor, whilst drunk, with Mr Kennedy, in front of journalists. Photos of this exist.

And the reply:

Although I do not remember the specific incident, this sounds highly probable. I thoroughly enjoyed working with Nigel Kennedy, whom I remember with affection. Additionally, since I was in my twenties, I’m sure it was not the only incident of the kind; we all do idiotic things when young. I am not a very good dancer and must apologise to any and all journalists who were forced to watch me dance that night at Ronnie Scott’s.

Seems to have done the trick…

Off To Drink Arianna Dry

With the Adam Smith Institute’s do last night and the Speccie tomorrow, party season is in full swing.  There’s lots of clashes tonight though. Guido was thinking Mitt Romney’s could be fun, but then remembered he’s a Mormon, so doubt there will be much drinking happening there. The Balls’ are having a BBQ tonight for the B-team, but Stoke Newington is a bit of a trek. Looks like it’s going to have to be Arianna’s bash at Millbank. Remember HuffPo writers, that drink tonight is all the payment you are getting…

Osbournomics

There are many reasons why the NHS is not the “envy of the world”, but Guido reckons they could have tried a little harder with their token celebrity endorsement for the NHS’s 63rd birthday today. Step forward Ozzy Osbourne. The ageing rocker sings the praises of the organisation, though he seems to have changed his tune from his last public utterances on a medical theme. In 2005 he famously told a crowd in Michigan that he’d been warned not to sing, but “the doctor can go f**k himself”.

Things have been little uncomfortable for Lansley in recent months, but Guido had no idea things were that desperate at Richmond House…

Labour's Ban Comes Home To Roost

Amend the Ban

Given the last Labour government went out of their way to hit pubs and clubs with regulations, duties and, worst of all, the smoking ban, it’s no surprise to see their actions come back to bite them. CR Consulting have found that Labour constituencies are being disproportionately hit  by the pub closures. Though Tory held Westminster suffered the most closures, nine out of the top ten worst hit seats were Labour:

Cities of London and Westminster, Con -99 pubs
Birmingham, Ladywood, Lab -56 pubs
Glasgow Central, Lab -56 pubs
Manchester Central, Lab -49 pubs
Liverpool, Riverside, Lab -45 pubs
Bristol West, LD -39 pubs
Leeds Central, Lab -38 pubs
Edinburgh North and Leith, Lab -34 pubs
Argyll and Bute, LD -32 pubs
Nottingham South, Lab -31 pubs

Guido will be supporting a cause that is very dear to his heart today, the campaign to Save our Pubs and Clubs as they hold a lobby of parliament this afternoon. Labour MPs might want to have a little think about the impact of their actions on their own constituencies…

An Unexpected Disinvitation

Summer Party season is upon us. So Guido was shocked and, to be honest, a little hurt when he was told on the phone that he wasn’t to come along to tonight’s book launch for James Macintyre and Mehdi Hasan’s “Ed”.  What did they think Guido was going to do, take the mick? 

The publishers have subsequently emailed to say Guido can come, if he behaves, and doesn’t upset James Macintyre. Unfortunately we have a prior appointment.

Guido is off to the Policy Exchange party to drink Pimms in the sunshine, with the Prime Minister…

Guido's Advice to the Chinese Communist Party's Propagandists

It is not often that Guido is invited to speak to an audience of Communists, so the invitation to speak to twenty or so visiting Chinese Communist Party propagandists and Information Ministry officials was hard to resist. The audience at the seminar included security officials, it would be fair to say that this was not a home crowd. Almost as bad as a Goldsmith’s Media Studies audience, but not as left-wing.

Guido had difficulty logging into his Google mail account to download the Powerpoint file, having temporarily forgotten the password, the joke that maybe one of the audience could help seemed to get lost in translation.

The Q&A afterwards was what the FCO would describe diplomatically as a “frank exchange”, genuine interest in how political blogging works, great interest in the possibility that it could be an anti-corruption tool. Laughter at the sex scandals, the TBGBs and the influence of Mrs Fawkes on the economic imperatives of blogging. Towards the end of the presentation Guido tried to make it relevant to China. The last slide provoked a sharp intake of breath, some of the audience laughed nervously, some choked, some argued that Ai Weiwei had committed economic crimes. Nixon had the IRS investigate his political opponents.

Apparently he has not filled out all his tax returns, not something that makes him a bad person in Guido’s book. Afterwards this was the focus of one-to-one discussions, it became clear that they – and these were propagandists – have no media strategy to deal with human rights abuse allegations. When challenged that even a criminal suspect should have freedom of speech, they were silent. Maybe in China that is safer.

Off to Speak to Chinese Communist Propagandists

Blogging will be light. Guido has accepted an invitation to speak to twenty government information ministry officials and Communist Party propagandists on their visit to London. Looking forward to explaining why they should allow anti-government bloggers. Will be illustrating the benefits of freedom of expression with Powerpoint examples of the resignations of Peter Hain, Damian McBride and Chris Myers. The 5% drop in the poll ratings of the Brown government the week following Smeargate should convince them methinks.

Oh, and why they should free Ai WeiWei…

Reader, She Married Him

Guido hears that the author, and member consistently voted sexiest MP on that website, has had a surprise wedding in New York.  Louise Bagshaw has tied the knot with rock and roll power broker Peter Mensch, two decades older than her, and manager of Metallica and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. […] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Radio Derby: “Do you know what a mugwump is?”

Theresa May: “What I recognise is that what we need in this country is strong and stable leadership.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Zac Back? Watch Our Guy News Special Zac Back? Watch Our Guy News Special
Campaign Report: 43 Days To Go Campaign Report: 43 Days To Go
Gallery Guido’s PMQs Sketch Gallery Guido’s PMQs Sketch
Farron U-Turns and Sacks David Ward Farron U-Turns and Sacks David Ward
‘Spring’ Breaks: Jolyon’s Short-Lived New Party ‘Spring’ Breaks: Jolyon’s Short-Lived New Party
More Selection Shenanigans More Selection Shenanigans
Bouattia Ousted Bouattia Ousted
David Ward Becoming a Problem for Farron David Ward Becoming a Problem for Farron
Clive Lewis Slammed by ICM for Fake News Poll Clive Lewis Slammed by ICM for Fake News Poll
Radio 4 Gossips Link Peston to Today Radio 4 Gossips Link Peston to Today
Mirror Chicken Fattened for Election Slaughter Mirror Chicken Fattened for Election Slaughter
Len Tries to Stitch Up Liverpool Walton for His Bag Carrier Len Tries to Stitch Up Liverpool Walton for His Bag Carrier
Starmer on Corbyn: Then and Now Starmer on Corbyn: Then and Now
Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down? Updates: Who’s Standing? Who’s Standing Down?
Banks Bottles It Banks Bottles It
Corbynista Unfurls “Farron Hates Gays” Placard Corbynista Unfurls “Farron Hates Gays” Placard
Esther McVey for Tatton Esther McVey for Tatton
Zac Back? Zac Back?
UKIP’s Islamo-Banifesto UKIP’s Islamo-Banifesto
Karen Danczuk Seeks Selection in Bury Karen Danczuk Seeks Selection in Bury