Nigel Evans Cleared of Rape and Sexual Assault No Immediate Restoration of Tory Whip

Evans was led from the dock in tears as local supporters and friends in the gallery erupted into cheers.

Not guilty on eight counts. 

UPDATE: The Guardian are withering in their destruction of the CPS case against Evans:

“The prosecution case against Nigel Evans, the former Commons deputy speaker, began to fall apart as soon as his accusers entered the witness box. One by one, the young men trooped into Preston crown court and said they did not consider themselves victims of any criminal offence, nor had they wanted to complain to police.”

UPDATE II:

Hacks Dry, While Bullingdon Boy Dimbers is on the Bolly

Bullingdon Boy David Dimbleby is already on the Bollinger, while the mere plebs in the Spin Room will apparently be left dry for tonight’s BBC Europe debate. Beeb cuts are biting deep for all but a few privileged old timers.

In light of this tragic news, Guido is planning on pre-gaming in the bar of the Langham Hotel opposite Broadcasting House from about 5.30:

It’s a convenient location, if a little pricey. See you there.

Chuka Ne Remember Rien

The socialist French government have been showing Chuka Umunna some love, whisking the our two-faced chum across the channel for an all-expenses paid three day visit.

The £4,348 cost of the trip included the services of a translator, which is odd given Chuka boasts on his CV about his degree in English and French Law.

Clearly the year that he spent at the University of Burgundy in Dijon, France did not cut the mustard.

Have all those long nights partying in Ibiza had some sort of negative effect on Chuka’s memory?

Celebrate this Special Day

Image

Today has been a long time coming for many co-conspirators, a day we feared we would never see. Fortunately Norman Tebbit’s serious poor health this year has not stopped him becoming 83 years young today. Happy Birthday Norman!

The Honourable Member for Tinder

These screenshots from hook up app Tinder are doing rounds, purporting to be LibDem MP Stephen Gilbert. At least he seems to have kept his clothes on, unlike the last MP to get caught up in online dating. Left swipe.

MPs Laughing at Cancer

Over £100, 000 was raised last night at the Sixteenth Annual Macmillan Cancer Support’s Parliamentary Palace of Varieties. The Daily Politics were there, though they missed Guido losing a bet to LibDem MP John Hemming that Fabricant, Gillan and Binley would slag off the PM in their turn. They didn’t, Hemming got Guido’s money which he very sportingly spent on brandy and port. Glasman and Jesse Norman were blowing their own trumpets once again, yet the star of the night was Lord Dobbs of Gilbert and Sullivan. Michael Fabricant in bunches is a sight you will struggle to forget…

@MsSallyBercow Tweets Sally in Rehab

Sally-Berow-2461841

Late last night an account purporting to be that of Sally Bercow tweeted:

“SB friend for 20 yrs & she asked i tweet 4 her- she in spa/rehab”.

The Speaker’s Office declined the opportunity to comment. Sally was not immediately available at the time of going to pixel…

UPDATE: Sally claims she was hacked. Again. Odd given she was tweeting Andrew Pierce at the time…

Farage Does Drugs

faragedugs

“Last week, Nick Clegg returned from a trip to South America. Goodness knows what he smoked out there, because he actually made a couple of smart points. First, the so-called War on Drugs isn’t working. Second, we should appoint a royal commission to look into the alternatives. The fact is our current approach to drugs is neither practical nor effective. I strongly believe in promoting individual freedom – but I also strongly believe in reducing the public harm caused by drugs. As a parent as much as a politician, I say we have to accept that current policy has not achieved the reductions in crime or consumption that we’d hoped for. I know he slagged me off in this newspaper yesterday, but on this one I agree with Nick.”

Finally a politician with an interesting line

New Photo Emerges of Sally and ‘Friend of Dromey’

Who is the mysterious man Sally is straddling here?

Daily Politics Guide to Westminster Watering Holes

Guido has many fond memories of the Red Lion, not to mention the many more he can’t remember…

IoD Sniff at Ed’s Big Speech

Unsurprisingly business leaders weren’t impressed with Ed’s speech either. Institute of Directors boss Simon Walker has his say:

“The state has a very poor history of creating competition in banking. The last time the Government told a bank what to do, Lloyds was ordered to sell branches to Rev. Flowers, and we all know how that ended.”

Wounder.

Ignore the Spin: 56 Pubs Shut Per Week Under Labour

Labour MP Toby Perkins may well be simple, but that does not excuse his attempts to re-write history. The “Shadow Pubs Minister” has sent out a ham-fisted attack about the “great pub scandal”:

“Labour is forcing a Parliamentary debate on backing local pubs, pressing the Government to act as research shows 26 pubs are closing every week. Too many pubs across Britain are closing their doors and we urgently need action but ministers are dragging their feet. Pubs are vital hubs in communities up and down the country.”

Perkins, a renowned wally, has accused BIS of “dithering”. But lets just rewind a little…

The real “great pub scandal” was that Labour did more to hamstring the pub industry than any other government. At one point under Gordon, according to the BBC, 56 pubs were shutting a week. Then there were the former Chancellor’s crippling 60% rise in booze taxes, as well as the smoking ban destroying thousands of businesses. The ballooning in pub companies was a direct consequence of Brown’s tax relief for breweries introduced in 2002. Labour have some cheek in blaming Vince Cable for a problem they created. By all means highlight the concerns, but Perkins seems to have spent a little too long in the pub.

Sugar is Not ‘the New Tobacco’

The We Can’t Go On Like This Brigade are out in force this morning  and today’s target is sugar. Those of us who predicted that once nanny had got bored of booze and fags, she would come for our sweeties don’t look so stupid now. “Children’s alcohol” cry the Guardian, the “new tobacco” say the Mail.

Given that there are records of Henry III eating sugar in Britian in 1264 and tobacco was not imported until 1586, that headline needs some work…

WATCH: Highgella: The Movie

Chris Blackhurst's Kama Sutra

Indy staff have been left baffled this afternoon by an email inviting them to help themselves to “a crate of unclaimed stuff in front of Chris Blackhurst’s desk including some high heels, a copy of the Kama Sutra, an assortment of dog shampoo and a speed camera (hand-held).”

Sounds like one hell of a kinky night…

 

Cristal Meth Scandal

Nigel Evans was looking on the bright side when Guido bumped into him last week.

“Whenever I get down, I just think it could be worse. I could be Reverend Flowers.”

Although, unlike the party-loving former boss of the Co-op Bank, Evans told Guido: “I’ve never smoked crystal meth, mind. I have drunk Cristal, though”.

Saatchi Claims Nigella Was "Off Her Head" on Coke

It’s been an open secret that Charles Saatchi has been trying to put around the Nigella coke angle, but her lawyers have been stopping anyone from printing it. Now it’s been said in court:

Saatchi’s friends tell people that is why he was looking up her nose that day…

Image reconstruction.

UPDATE:

This explains so much:

GALLERY GUIDO: Smear Executive Decided to Smear Labour

We’re making up a Labour smear story.

We’re going for their most cherished example of mutual, collective endeavour. The Co-op. Ethical, modest, decent. Let’s make it go bust through filthy capitalist greed. And let’s get it taken over by US vulture funds who have the power to call in Labour’s loans, but don’t because they act more ethically than the previous management.

But you want more.

Okay, let’s have the outgoing chairman of the ethical bank to be a most complete representative of the Labour movement – a Co-op member for years, a Methodist minister who could be your dad, who gives money to Labour from Co-op funds. How much?

Half a million! Why half a milion? It’s a smear, make it a million!

Let’s have him only being an amateur in banking with no qualifications except “a professional requirement to be charitable”, and he gives a million to the party generally and also smaller donations to – who do we hate most? – Ed Balls.

Let’s get this perfect Labour guy who looks like your dad to give, what’s a really large private sum, fifty thousand pounds to Ed Balls’ office. Perfect.

But you want to have him personally corrupt? Is that really necessary? What, watching porn on his work computer as a Labour councillor? Okay, it’s a Harriet Harman sort of crime but –

You want him to be contracting rent boys? The chairman of the Co-op bank hiring rent boys? I guess it’s not imposs-

You want him to be doing DRUG DEALS? Now it’s too much. What sort of drugs? CRYSTAL METH?

You want him to look like everyone’s father, chair a Labour bank, give money to Labour shadow cabinet names, and be a rent-boy-seeking Labour councilor buying CRYSTAL METH in a car? It’s too much.

Smear-wise it’s beyond anything previously attempted.

More seriously, it will damage the whole smearing industry.

WATCH: Rob Ford: The Movie

Via teh internetz.

Special Offer of the Day

Arena Flowers wins for their outstanding effort at shoehorning Rev Flowers into a promotional offer.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Shadow Education Secretary Angela Rayner:

“We have no plans to write off existing student debt.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise
BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full
Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money
New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle
Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings
Sunday Shows Sunday Shows
Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling
Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom
Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant
Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier
Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page
Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets
Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde
The Great Fairtrade Scandal The Great Fairtrade Scandal
Stewart Jackson Tapped for Davis Job Stewart Jackson Tapped for Davis Job
Robbie Gibb New No 10 Comms Chief Robbie Gibb New No 10 Comms Chief
Corbynistas Must “Hold the Streets” If There’s a Coup Against PM Corbyn Corbynistas Must “Hold the Streets” If There’s a Coup Against PM Corbyn
Watson and Wimbledon Watson and Wimbledon
No 10 Comms Director Runners and Riders No 10 Comms Director Runners and Riders