Burnham ‘Just Checking Out’ Westminster Bubble

There was Guido making his way through the heart of the Westminster bubble last night, when who did he happen to stumble across? Only man of t’people Andy Burnham, posing for photos outside the Westminster Arms, the definitive core of the SW1 bubble. What on earth was an outsider like Andy doing at the very epicentre of the metropolitan elite? “I just thought I’d come and check out the bubble,” he told Guido.

Burnham was in a bullish mood about his chances last night, telling Guido “we can still do it” and insisting that second preferences meant he was the only candidate who can stop Corbyn. Of course Cooper’s people say the same about her. Keen to quickly get away from the bubble, Andy rejected the offer of a pint from a supporter and made his exit… to his flat less than a mile away in Kennington…

Osborne Mocks Labour Contest: “I’ve Got Three More Votes Left to Cast”

George Osborne just about recovered from his 2011 w*nker joke faux pas to land the coveted GQ Politician of the Year award at the Royal Opera House last night.

Westminster style icon Osborne was presented the award by his friend Bob Geldof, who revealed he personally called the Chancellor the day before to give him an ear-bashing about the refugee crisis. George’s gags were much better received this time, including an obligatory dig at the Labour leadership contest:

“The Labour leadership contest hasn’t got long to go and I’ve got three more votes left to cast”

Piers certainly enjoyed it…

The ever-svelte Osborne had a whole table sorted for his top Treasury team, though they quickly slipped off before the after party for prettier guests. GQ Politician of the Year 2016: Jezza Corbyn and his vest…?

Jez Dances as Corbynistas Chant “Vamos Corbyn!”

Footage has emerged of feelgood Jeremy Corbyn cutting shapes in a London nightclub, pumping his fist in the air in a Chavez-style ‘people power’ salute, as a Latin American guitarist leads a chorus of “Vamos Corbyn! Vamos Corbyn!” to the tune of the Gypsy Kings’ Bambeleo.

The senstational video was filmed on Saturday night, at the Latinos for Corbyn fundraiser at El Vergel:

He also played the bongos:

And had a bloomin’ good time:

Viva la fiesta! Viva Corbynista!

Corbynistas Plan to ‘Drink Blood of Thatcher’

Jeremy Corbyn’s supporters will be partying like it’s 1983 at the Speakeasy Bar in Epping tomorrow night. The Corbyn campaign is sponsoring an official ‘Cocktails for Corbyn‘ bash, offering drinks such as “Dianne Abbotts” [sic], described as “Champagne Socialist Martinis”, and “Kier Hardie” Old Fashioneds. Also on the menu are “Bloody Margarets“, a rather tasteless reference to the late Lady Thatcher. Only 11 people have RSVP’d so far, seems Essex isn’t a Corbynista heartland. Bloodthirsty Reds…

Post Plain Packaging Aussie Tobacco Sales Up 0.5%

F0694673-A289-4841-BEBC-C0C613122BA8

Despite claims to the contrary, following the introduction of plain packaging for cigarettes in Australia, tobacco sales increased by 0.5%. Sales were declining  by 5.4% per year in the years before plain packaging was introduced…

The Australian figures will come as an embarrassment for the puritanical British MPs who bulldozed through standardised packaging legislation in March this year. Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest… 

Congratulations to the Newly Weds, Mr & Mrs Neil

Congratulations…

Corbynistas Already Planning Victory Rally

There might be a month until the ballot closes, but that hasn’t stopped some excitable Corbyn supporters from organising a mass “victory party” for their man on September 12:

Nearly 1,000 people have already signed up to attend the event, which sounds just great:

Will they be flying the red flag through the streets of London, or are they a tad premature?

End of an Era…

End of an error, more like…

Blogging May Be Light…

anchorman

It’s Neo-Guido’s leaving lunch this afternoon.

Guido will be drowning his sorrows down the pub later, come buy him a Guinness. Usual place…

Rain on Dave’s Parade

The PM brought back up to his summer bash for Peroni-guzzling Lobby hacks last night, but it was the weather that rained on his parade – literally. As damp Tory leadership contenders worked the thinning lawn of the Downing Street rose garden, a relaxed Dave stood side by side with Theresa May doling out titbits to a ‘doughnut’ of senior correspondents, while Saj put in a good innings. By pure coincidence, Osborne was hosting a rival party upstairs and his guests soon milled out to join the PM’s. The high turnout of ministers included Matt Hancock and Nicky Morgan, Fallon was presumably busy blowing up Syrians. Boris was conspicuous by his absence…

By contrast to the Chancellor’s austere offering of pretzels and Skips last week, the PM generously put on a decent spread of sausages, vol-au-vents and lovely little fried feta cheese pastry nibbles. Asked by mischievous visitors how much holiday he would be taking this summer, Dave zinged back: “I’ll take the same amount of time off as the Lobby”. After an hour or so’s mingling, the PM was hurriedly called back into No.10 just as the heavens threatened to open…

Dave Struggles With Another Three Letter Acronym Text

Along with Boris (late), Hammond (cold),  Fallon (sober-ish), Soubry (jolly), Hancock (bouncy) and former Aussie PM John Howard, the PM laid it on thick last night at Lynton Crosby’s victory party at the Science Museum.

Taking the stage to do his best Australian accent, Dave was sweary:

“‘Stick to your course and bloody do it…’ That is Lynton in a bloody nutshell.”

The PM also revealed he was struggling with three letter acronyms again, this time curt text messages from his campaign manager about “Paisley pyjamas or whatever”:

“I didn’t have my glasses on and could only see WEF, and I was wondering why he was talking about the World Economic Forum.  Turns out it was WTF.”

LOL…

Green Party Youth’s Glastonbury Mash Up

festival-crowd-girls

The bright eyed youth wing of the Green Party are sending 100 of their members to Glastonbury Festival as part of a “sustainability project”. They will aim to establish “sustainable ‘villages’ which minimise everyone’s impact on the farm“. While getting badgered…

Cannabis Campaigners For Corbyn

Coach loads of trots are being bussed into London on Saturday for a union-funded End Austerity Now march on parliament. Jeremy Corbyn will be there, hoping to convince as many as he can to pay their £3 and sign up to vote.

Among those joining Corbyn will be the “Cannabis Campaigners Against Austerity” group, who sound like they have a fun day planned:

Forget this lot, what were the MPs who nominated him smoking?

Westminster Arms Faces Closure Threat

Worrying news for one of Westminster’s favourite watering holes. Guido understands that the Westminster Arms on Storey’s Gate – preferred pub of Nigel Farage and half of CCHQ – is facing a fight to stay open.

The Arms is run by Irish firebrand Gerry Dolan but co-owned by an equity company, which owns the building next door and the downstairs bar. Dolan reveals he is contesting plans to develop the neighbouring offices into flats, which would see punters banned from drinking on the pavement outside the pub. The downstairs bar, which houses the ladies’ loos, is also set to go, meaning the pub faces the prospect of only having a gents’ toilets. Dolan tells Guido “it would be the death of the pub”.

A Call to Arms has been launched to save the pub, fellow boozers can sign up here

UPDATE: The equity company is GM Investment Trustees Limited, a subsidiary of General Motors.

Play It Again, Salm

A once great statesman reduced to loitering around the dingy bars of Westminster putting the world to rights with washed up has-beens.

The other, Alex Salmond.

Health Lobbyists Plan to Spy on Gays and Pregnant Women

Gay people and pregnant mothers will be spied on under controversial plans drawn up by health lobby extremists. Guido has seen a copy of a report set to be released later this month by ASH, that draws up plans for a massive clamp down on the rights of the individual in regard to smoking.

The anti-smoking lobby group have written a wide-ranging wishlist for the coming parliament and it’s about as authoritarian as you can get. History would indicate that this bunch get what they want; from the smoking ban, to plain packs and restrictions on smoking in cars.

The document includes plan to spy on gay people in order to stop them smoking:

“Improve national surveillance to ensure that timely and robust data are available on smoking prevalence including data on all socio-economic groups, people with long-term conditions, people with mental health problems, minority ethnic groups, the LGBT population and other disadvantaged groups.”

And the midwives will be armed in this fight:

“Issue every midwife in England who conducts antenatal appointments with a carbon monoxide monitor.”

Because obviously all pregnant women are liars.

Smoking is set to be banned in prisons and on stage, as ASH demand the government “remove the smokefree exemption for prisons” and “theatrical performances.”

And they’re not done there…

The leaked memo includes plans to investigate “legislative and non-legislative options to make outdoor environments smokefree” and “all enclosed cars and motor vehicles.”

So what will the group recommend to make all their dreams come true? Higher taxes, obviously:

“Increase the tax escalator on tobacco products to 5 per cent above the level of inflation.”

You read it here first…

Big Feartie: Which MP Gassed the Chamber?

Watch as SNP MP Patricia Gibson recoils in horror and wafts the air as one of her colleagues lets rip in the Commons:

And everyone thought the chamber emptied because Clegg got up to speak…

UPDATE: The guilty culprit has been identified as Labour MP Richard Burgon.

The Queen: Psychoactive Drugs

Big Tobacco Firms Take Government to Court

jti-wto

JTI, the owners of Benson and Hedges, follow British American Tobacco (Rothmans, Dunhill) and Philip Morris Inc. (Marlboro) into the High Courts to protect the billions they have invested in their brands. If the High Court does not protect or compensate them for their losses from the planned censorship by plain packaging, they will go to the WTO in Geneva for protection. This battle is not over yet…

24 Hour Drinking: In Numbers

Today’s new Institute of Economic Affairs report by Christopher Snowdon looks at the impact of 24 hour drinking. Guido has crunched the numbers into a handy infographic:

As the report finds: “Facilitating longer opening hours may have been the best thing the Labour Party ever did…”[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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Quote of the Day

Alan Sugar on Jeremy Corbyn:

“It’s clear you alluded to students refunds to get votes from young impressionable people. You are a cheat and should resign.”

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