With all the controversy about Wikileaks and the hacking of Hillary and the DNC this invitation is certainly appropriate. Russia’s London Ambassador, Alexander Yakovenko, is really
spoiling trolling us with his pre-Christmas cocktail party’s topic for discussion, “Hacking the Algorithm”. Maybe guests should leave their smartphones at home…
Those are the moves that helped him go through to the next round.
All those annoying hand jives on the frontbench, turns out were useful practice…
For the first time in recent memory there will be no Telegraph party at Tory conference. Traditionally the Torygraph bash has one of the more exclusive guestlists – Dave and George used to show up, Philip Hammond was once turned away – this year they’ve canned the whole thing. Sticking five figures behind the bar so execs can get sloshed with the Cabinet wouldn’t be a good look in a year when they’ve laid off so many journalists. Shame, the Facebook live stream would have gone totes viral…
The popularity of e-cigarettes is seeing a seismic shift away from burning tobacco – smoking is down to 16.9% or 1 in 6 adults. Deborah Arnott, the fanatical £160,000-a-year chief executive of the taxpayer-funded pressure group Action on Smoking and Health (ASH), still has to continue justifying her taxpayer subsidy. Arnott credits the continuing decline in smoking prevalence to among other things “getting rid of glitzy tobacco packaging”. Just a small point of order, this hasn’t happened yet, cigarette packaging is still branded…
Teetotal Jeremy Corbyn’s latest policy to win the support of traditional working class Labour voters is that after-work drinks are sexist. Jez reckons “early evening socialisation discriminates against mothers”. The photo above shows him at an after-work drinks party he hosted for Lobby journalists which went on from 6pm until 9pm. His top aide Seumas Milne even stayed out boozing with the lads. Not many women in that photo…
Turns out Jezza is quite a fan of going down the pub. Here he is singing the Red Flag with his blokey mates in footage captured by Russia Today. And here he is at Westminster’s Sanctuary pub addressing a boozy crowd. Can you spot any mothers?
Not many women in this photo of Jez at the pub with his brother, either:
Maybe he has a point…
Crispin Blunt will be breathing a sigh of relief today, as figures released by the Home Office reveal the Psychoactive Substances Act stopped 332 “headshops” selling the contraband and shutdown 24 altogether, with 186 arrests. The act gained notoriety earlier this year when it was revealed that the government was to attempt a blanket ban on then “legal highs”, including popular “poppers”. This led to a memorable intervention from Crispin Blunt, saving “poppers” from the ban and a potential two years in prison simply for possession. He didn’t stop the government banning hundreds of other substances, though, flying in the face of increasingly pro-drug legislators in Ireland, Europe, and even the USA. If only they could take something to broaden their thinking…
Fresh from celebrating the sugar tax while hawking his own sickly sweet recipes, Jamie Oliver today announced that he was “in shock” over the government’s new obesity strategy. In a hand-wringing Facebook post, the once-naked chef complained:
“Where are the actions on irresponsible advertising targeted at our children, and the restrictions on junk food promotions?”
“Junk food promotions” like this Taste the Difference advert from when Oliver was in a deal with Sainsbury’s estimated to be worth between £1-2 million per year? In the “1,000 Tables” advert, Oliver struts through a market town, passing by and singing the praises of literally 1,000 different types of food – many of them brimming with fat, sugar, and salt (as handily pointed out in this video). In one scene, Guido counted 10 varieties of cake on a single table – all while gaggles of young children run and laugh around the set. What is it about losing his multi million pound Sainsbury’s sponsorship deal that has prompted Oliver’s clean-up advertising campaign?
Corrine Sawers, the Remainer pop-video director with a star wailing that she “don’t want to be dancing on my own”, might be more familiar to Guido readers as the gold Kalshnikov wielding daughter of former MI6 spy chief Sir John Sawers. The gun was a decommissioned Kalashnikov her father acquired as a memento of his time in Iraq. Saddam had several of the gold-plated weapons. She posted the picture on Facebook one Christmas a few years back. She’s all grown up now…
She describes herself nowadays as “an amateur circus artist and film maker. Full time consultant & impact investor. Into the transformation of food systems and centre left politics. Obsessive yogini.”
Not sure what conspiracy theorists will make of the Bilderberg attending MI6 boss’s daughter telling us to vote Remain…
One man stole the show at the after-party for the premiere of Brexit: The Movie, Jeremy Corbyn’s brother Piers. Guido shared a beer and a laugh with the Labour leader’s climate change sceptic, Brexit-backing sibling, who explained that Jezza is a “long-term Eurosceptic” who “has been voting with Graham Stringer [the Labour Outer] for years”, but is now in “party management mode“. Piers insisted “I don’t know how he’s going to vote”. But he expressed a hope that his brother “does the right thing and votes out”…
The sponsors for Martin Durkin’s must-watch documentary put £30,000 behind the bar at the W London in Leicester Square, which went by midnight. Piers then went all meteorological on us, warning guests that major thunderstorms are coming our way around mid-August, approximately the 13th or 14th, including the possibility of hailstones. He advises holidaymakers best avoid Britain, France and most of western and northern Europe for the period. It’s his brother who will be experiencing real turbulence…
Glastonbury is in June. Maybe he records it and watches it at Christmas…
Young Labour activists were promised some night fever on Friday evening as their mayoral candidate vowed to cut some shapes at a “Sadisqco” party at Bankside. Yet just eight people had turned up by the time Khan arrived. All of them blokes.
More like a Sad-disco.
UPDATE: Sadiq allies get in touch to insist that at least 16 people turned up, including four girls.
Victory for Crispin Blunt as Home Office minister Karen Bradley confirms that the government no longer considers poppers a psychoactive drug:
“I understand that the Council has now advanced its understanding of the psychoactivity of the alkyl nitrites group under the Act and concluded that only substances that directly stimulate or depress the central nervous system are psychoactive under the Act. Having given due consideration, the Government agrees with your advice and interpretation of the definition. We do so in the understanding that “poppers” have these unique indirect effects. Our understanding is that this approach does not have any further implications for the operation of the Act and that other substances that the Act intends to cover are not affected.”
That sound you can hear coming from the parliamentary estate: “Wooooooooooooooo!”
Since he declared for Leave the odds on Boris joining Osborne in a leadership final have shortened, with ambitious colleagues jostling for position. Andrea Leadsom and Penny Mordaunt have both previously been tipped to mount leadership bids, they are both Outers who help run the intriguing ‘Fresh Start’ group of Tory MPs. Curiously the duo have begun hosting weekly drinks dos with Tory backbenchers, inviting “colleagues who are on the ‘leave’ side of the EU debate” to an “informal drop in each Monday evening” at Penny’s office. The “regular” 90 minute long sessions “over a glass of wine” have been a convenient opportunity to woo colleagues, while Leadsom is also having backbenchers round for drinkies at her swish Tufton Court residence. Tonight Penny and Andrea have arranged for Vote Leave to give a talk about strategy and answer questions, naturally “wine and snacks will be served”. Boris’ operation, run by Ben Wallace and Nigel Adams, is famously lacking punch…
Plaid leader Leanne Wood – her off the TV debates – did a rather lovely bit of ballroom during her Strictly Cymru Dancing fundraiser this weekend. It would’ve got a ten from Len!
Momentum is supposedly a grassroots organisation run by the people, for the people. So how do they elect their national representatives? Meet Frankie Leach, a 19 year-old International Politics student at Manchester Met. Frankie is also a Momentum activist who spent Saturday night boozing with the group’s boss Jon Lansman.
She tweeted at 1:06 a.m.
With picture evidence (that’s Lansman on the right):
3 minutes later at 1:09 a.m., congratulations were in order:
Guido has no idea what happened in those three minutes, but lefty sources claim Lansman went from a tequila slammer to a sham of an election. Just what did the 58 year old silver fox, who appears to drink cider and black, see in Frankie?
Just as well junior doctors called off the second of their three planned strikes, scheduled for this week, because hundreds of them are jetting off to Val d’Isere today. Over the next 72 hours doctors are attending their annual winter conference, which has been held at the premier French ski resort for years. The good news is there are still 133 last-minute tickets left for doctors-in-training, at a reduced rate of £330. Medical students qualify for concessions at £210. It is even tax deductible if attendees present an eight-minute report or short paper.
Lectures include “What it takes to win”, “When things go wrong” and “Being sued”. Though far more exciting are the special offers available:
“Val d’Isere is considered to be the world’s premier ski resort. It offers the best skiing together with lively après ski. There are several ski companies offering special DoctorsUpdates rates for delegates in Val d’isere.”
Wonder if they’ll have any snappers for company at the “lively après ski”…
The trip finishes up on Wednesday with the 25th annual St George’s Cup Slalom Race:
“On the Wednesday we hold the great annual St George’s Cup Slalom Race. The rules of the race are cleverly devised so that skiers of all abilities can take part with an equal chance of success. Every competitor completes two timed runs down the same slalom course. The person whose second time most closely matches their first is the winner. This difference is sometimes as close as hundredths of a second!”
Good to see those £30,000-£70,000 junior doctors’ salaries aren’t going to waste!
This afternoon could see the the banning of amyl nitrate “poppers” – a psychoactive substance popular in the gay community and with clubbers. Crispin Blunt is worried about the government banning poppers and has emailed fellow MPs:
[…] Read the rest
From: BLUNT, Crispin
Sent: 20 January 2016 13:06
Subject: Psychoactive Substances Bill
This afternoon there may be an amendment moved to support the Home Affairs Select Committee’s recommendation to exempt alkyl nitrates, also known as “poppers” from the Psychoactive Substances Bill.