Act That Tried to Ban “Poppers” Bites

blunt-poppers

Crispin Blunt will be breathing a sigh of relief today, as figures released by the Home Office reveal the Psychoactive Substances Act stopped 332 “headshops” selling the contraband and shutdown 24 altogether, with 186 arrests. The act gained notoriety earlier this year when it was revealed that the government was to attempt a blanket ban on then “legal highs”, including popular “poppers”. This led to a memorable intervention from Crispin Blunt, saving “poppers” from the ban and a potential two years in prison simply for possession. He didn’t stop the government banning hundreds of other substances, though, flying in the face of increasingly pro-drug legislators in Ireland, Europe, and even the USA. If only they could take something to broaden their thinking…

Jamie Oliver’s Sugary, Fatty Advertising Hypocrisy

Fresh from celebrating the sugar tax while hawking his own sickly sweet recipes, Jamie Oliver today announced that he was “in shock” over the government’s new obesity strategy. In a hand-wringing Facebook post, the once-naked chef complained:

“Where are the actions on irresponsible advertising targeted at our children, and the restrictions on junk food promotions?”

“Junk food promotions” like this Taste the Difference advert from when Oliver was in a deal with Sainsbury’s estimated to be worth between £1-2 million per year? In the “1,000 Tables” advert, Oliver struts through a market town, passing by and singing the praises of literally 1,000 different types of food – many of them brimming with fat, sugar, and salt (as handily pointed out in this video). In one scene, Guido counted 10 varieties of cake on a single table – all while gaggles of young children run and laugh around the set. What is it about losing his multi million pound Sainsbury’s sponsorship deal that has prompted Oliver’s clean-up advertising campaign?

Gun Totin’ MI6 Spy Boss Daughter’s Musical Remain Endorsement

Corinne+Sawers+#bremain

Corrine Sawers, the Remainer pop-video director with a star wailing that she “don’t want to be dancing on my own”, might be more familiar to Guido readers as the gold Kalshnikov wielding daughter of former MI6 spy chief Sir John Sawers. The gun was a decommissioned Kalashnikov her father acquired as a memento of his time in Iraq. Saddam had several of the gold-plated weapons. She posted the picture on Facebook one Christmas a few years back. She’s all grown up now…

She describes herself nowadays as “an amateur circus artist and film maker. Full time consultant & impact investor. Into the transformation of food systems and centre left politics. Obsessive yogini.” 

Not sure what conspiracy theorists will make of the Bilderberg attending MI6 boss’s daughter telling us to vote Remain…

Corbyn’s Brother Hopes He Votes Leave

One man stole the show at the after-party for the premiere of Brexit: The Movie, Jeremy Corbyn’s brother Piers. Guido shared a beer and a laugh with the Labour leader’s climate change sceptic, Brexit-backing sibling, who explained that Jezza is a “long-term Eurosceptic” who “has been voting with Graham Stringer [the Labour Outer] for years”, but is now in “party management mode“. Piers insisted “I don’t know how he’s going to vote”. But he expressed a hope that his brother “does the right thing and votes out”…

The sponsors for Martin Durkin’s must-watch documentary put £30,000 behind the bar at the W London in Leicester Square, which went by midnight. Piers then went all meteorological on us, warning guests that major thunderstorms are coming our way around mid-August, approximately the 13th or 14th, including the possibility of hailstones. He advises holidaymakers best avoid Britain, France and most of western and northern Europe for the period. It’s his brother who will be experiencing real turbulence…

Cameron Watches Glasto on TV in June “In Front of a Warm Fire”

Glastonbury is in June. Maybe he records it and watches it at Christmas…

Sad-Disco Sausage Fest

Young Labour activists were promised some night fever on Friday evening as their mayoral candidate vowed to cut some shapes at a “Sadisqco” party at Bankside. Yet just eight people had turned up by the time Khan arrived. All of them blokes.

More like a Sad-disco.

UPDATE: Sadiq allies get in touch to insist that at least 16 people turned up, including four girls.

Another U-Turn: Poppers Unbanned

Victory for Crispin Blunt as Home Office minister Karen Bradley confirms that the government no longer considers poppers a psychoactive drug:

“I understand that the Council has now advanced its understanding of the psychoactivity of the alkyl nitrites group under the Act and concluded that only substances that directly stimulate or depress the central nervous system are psychoactive under the Act. Having given due consideration, the Government agrees with your advice and interpretation of the definition. We do so in the understanding that “poppers” have these unique indirect effects. Our understanding is that this approach does not have any further implications for the operation of the Act and that other substances that the Act intends to cover are not affected.”

That sound you can hear coming from the parliamentary estate: “Wooooooooooooooo!”

Leadsom and Mordaunt Woo Outers Over Wine

Since he declared for Leave the odds on Boris joining Osborne in a leadership final have shortened, with ambitious colleagues jostling for position. Andrea Leadsom and Penny Mordaunt have both previously been tipped to mount leadership bids, they are both Outers who help run the intriguing ‘Fresh Start’ group of Tory MPs. Curiously the duo have begun hosting weekly drinks dos with Tory backbenchers, inviting “colleagues who are on the ‘leave’ side of the EU debate” to an “informal drop in each Monday evening” at Penny’s office. The “regular” 90 minute long sessions “over a glass of wine” have been a convenient opportunity to woo colleagues, while Leadsom is also having backbenchers round for drinkies at her swish Tufton Court residence. Tonight Penny and Andrea have arranged for Vote Leave to give a talk about strategy and answer questions, naturally “wine and snacks will be served”Boris’ operation, run by Ben Wallace and Nigel Adams, is famously lacking punch…

Strictly Cymru Dancing: Leanne Wood’s Wonderful Waltz

Plaid leader Leanne Wood – her off the TV debates – did a rather lovely bit of ballroom during her Strictly Cymru Dancing fundraiser this weekend. It would’ve got a ten from Len!

Tequila Scammers: Lansman’s Late Night Secret Election

Momentum is supposedly a grassroots organisation run by the people, for the people. So how do they elect their national representatives? Meet Frankie Leach, a 19 year-old International Politics student at Manchester Met. Frankie is also a Momentum activist who spent Saturday night boozing with the group’s boss Jon Lansman.

She tweeted at 1:06 a.m.
tweet 1With picture evidence (that’s Lansman on the right):

tweet 2

3 minutes later at 1:09 a.m., congratulations were in order:
tweet 3

Guido has no idea what happened in those three minutes, but lefty sources claim Lansman went from a tequila slammer to a sham of an election. Just what did the 58 year old silver fox, who appears to drink cider and black, see in Frankie?

Junior Doctors Jet Off on Cut-Price Val d’Isere Junket

Just as well junior doctors called off the second of their three planned strikes, scheduled for this week, because hundreds of them are jetting off to Val d’Isere today. Over the next 72 hours doctors are attending their annual winter conference, which has been held at the premier French ski resort for years. The good news is there are still 133 last-minute tickets left for doctors-in-training, at a reduced rate of £330. Medical students qualify for concessions at £210. It is even tax deductible if attendees present an eight-minute report or short paper.

Lectures include “What it takes to win”, “When things go wrong” and “Being sued”. Though far more exciting are the special offers available:

“Val d’Isere is considered to be the world’s premier ski resort. It offers the best skiing together with lively après ski. There are several ski companies offering special DoctorsUpdates rates for delegates in Val d’isere.”

Wonder if they’ll have any snappers for company at the “lively après ski”…

The trip finishes up on Wednesday with the 25th annual St George’s Cup Slalom Race:

“On the Wednesday we hold the great annual St George’s Cup Slalom Race. The rules of the race are cleverly devised so that skiers of all abilities can take part with an equal chance of success. Every competitor completes two timed runs down the same slalom course. The person whose second time most closely matches their first is the winner. This difference is sometimes as close as hundredths of a second!”

Good to see those £30,000-£70,000 junior doctors’ salaries aren’t going to waste!

Crispin Pleads for Poppers

blunt-poppersThis afternoon could see the the banning of amyl nitrate “poppers” – a psychoactive substance popular in the gay community and with clubbers. Crispin Blunt is worried about the government banning poppers and has emailed fellow MPs:

From: BLUNT, Crispin
Sent: 20 January 2016 13:06
Subject: Psychoactive Substances Bill
Importance: High

Dear all,

This afternoon there may be an amendment moved to support the Home Affairs Select Committee’s recommendation to exempt alkyl nitrates, also known as “poppers” from the Psychoactive Substances Bill. The relative paragraph is 45 of their first report:

“We accept the evidence given by Professor Iversen, the National Aids Trust, and the Gay Men’s Health Collective on alkyl nitrites, also known as ‘poppers’. Professor Iversen said ‘poppers’ were “not seen to be capable of having harmful effects sufficient to constitute a societal problem” and therefore we recommend they should not be banned. If in the future there is any evidence produced to the contrary, then ‘poppers’ should be removed from the exempted list or controlled under the Misuse of Drugs Act”.

I am very concerned about this measure which would have the consequences outlined in paragraph 43 of the Home Affairs Select Committee report.

If amendment 5 is put, I will be voting for it, and I hope Colleagues will join me so that they might at least not be party to a grave error of judgement by the Government.

Yours ever,

Crispin

Guido understands that inhalation of poppers at the point of orgasm results in an extended woooooohhhh!

UPDATE: “I use poppers, I out myself as a popper user, and would be directly affected by this legislation.”

2 Million More Problem Drinkers Created By Government

ALCOHOL-LIMITS

Victory for the public health lobby fun police as the Department of Health announces its intention to lower the recommended limit for alcohol consumption from 21 to 14 units per week for men. For some context, the USA’s limit is 24.5 units, France 26, Italy 31.5, and Spain 35 units. Yet British men are being told they should only drink five pints per week…

Industry sources say this means the number of men drinking at what Department of Health calls “increasing risk” rises from 16% to 26% overnight. That’s around 2 million more men labelled binge drinkers by the government. Cheers for that…

Guru Josh R.I.P.

Guido is saddened to hear that Guru Josh (Paul Walden) died in Ibiza on Monday. Back sometime in the ’89-’90 Summer of Love Guru Josh was bringing out a follow-up to his worldwide hit “Infinity” and wanted to do something to promote it and get attention. So he asked for advice from the sartorially psychedelic publicist for Sunrise – the most successful rave organisers of the era who were never off the front pages. The publicist advised him precisely what to say, something politically controversial, guaranteed to be reported everywhere in the music press and get him “cut through”. The publicist promised it would get him attention.

The next day* in an interview with Record Mirror Guru Josh came out in favour of the poll tax which was about to be introduced by the Thatcher government. The resulting publicity did get the Guru the promised “cut through”. It was unfortunately entirely negative publicity from the left-wing music press…

How does Guido know this story? He was that publicist.

*Exact sequence of events may differ. If you can remember it, you weren’t really there. See page 74.

“This Debate Brought to You By…”

ash

Wondering if the debate this afternoon in Westminster Hall on the government’s future smoking strategy tabled by Kevin Barron this afternoon was fair and balanced? Bob Blackman appeared to be giving a speech from notes printed on the fanatical Action on Smoking and Health (ASH) campaign’s headed paper. His key point was more money was needed for tobacco control – in other words more taxpayers’ money for ASH – reading line for line from the their own note. Fancy that…

Osborne’s Pre-Spending Review Bash Gets Out of Hand

george

Corridor colleagues complain that a party held at George Osborne’s MP office last week got a little out of hand. Not only were empty wine bottles strewn across the floor outside, the landing now stinks of booze and a light-fingered reveller even nicked the sign with the Chancellor’s name from the door. “It was raucous,” says an unimpressed colleague. Hic!

Bugg Off: Dugher’s Late Night Soho Gig Cut Short

dggher

‘Lightning Bolt’ singer-songwriter Jake Bugg treated MPs to an impromptu performance in parliament as part of the BBC’s LetItBeeb campaign against cuts to music services. Afterwards Bugg wound up going for a “quick pint” with Shadow Culture Secretary Michael Dugher. Hours later, the pair were in a Soho bar where Jake decided to get his guitar out for a quick song. The manager of the establishment however had other ideas, walking briskly over to tell Jake to put it away. Dugher remonstrated with him that this was a platinum selling artist performing a free gig. “Alright, one song but that’s it,” replied the manager. Clearly not a fan…

Strictly De Kirchner

Well-known Corbynista and Argentinian President Cristina de Kirchner has delighted supporters by spontaneously dancing at a campaign rally in Buenos Aires:

This isn’t the first time she has let loose, having cut some shapes to Ninel Conde’s “El bombón asesino” in December of last year:

Partying like it’s 1983…

Corbyn Dances to “F**k You” as Stalin Looks On

Jeremy Corbyn found himself mobbed by a harem of tipsy fans at last night’s Mirror party. He politely shuffled his feet to Cee Lo Green’s “F**k You” but made his exit once his female admirers began throwing themselves at him:

Looking down upon him from the wall of Brighton Revolutions?

While female MPs were unimpressed by the #EverydaySexism on show:

See if you can spot an unlikely fan coming face to face with Jezza in the video…

Delingpole on Druggy Dave

James Delingpole recalls “a beautiful sunny afternoon in the summer of 1985”, where he, a young David Cameron and another James “are sitting cross-legged in an oak-panelled room high above one of Oxford’s grandest college quads stoned out of their brains on marijuana”.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Shadow Education Secretary Angela Rayner:

“We have no plans to write off existing student debt.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer
BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies
Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket” Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket”
Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise
BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full
Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money
New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle
Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings
Sunday Shows Sunday Shows
Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling
Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom
Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant
Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier
Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page
Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets
Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde
The Great Fairtrade Scandal The Great Fairtrade Scandal
Stewart Jackson Tapped for Davis Job Stewart Jackson Tapped for Davis Job
Robbie Gibb New No 10 Comms Chief Robbie Gibb New No 10 Comms Chief