A judge in Rio has ordered the arrest of a top donor to Tim Farron. Marcus Evans, whose firm was previously under fire for selling unlicensed rugby tickets, is one of four men at the centre of a new Olympics touting scandal. His company THG Sports is alleged to have obtained vast quantities of Irish tickets to be resold to the public at exorbitant rates “under the camouflage of hospitality packages.” Pretty much every major sporting event of the last few years has seen Evans, his companies, or one of his employees embroiled in scandal and unseemly allegations. The 2010 football World Cup and Ryder Cup both led to Evans being embroiled in allegations of illegal reselling, even gaining the title “the biggest ticket tout in the world.” What is it with Farron and accepting dodgy cash?

Europe turned a blind eye.

America’s involvement simply ended up with Sepp Blatter winning re-election.

Enter Bibi:

“The effort to hurt Israel will destroy Fifa because if they start with one country they will move on to another and it will collapse the organisation. The effort to suspend Israel is severe and we will resist it unequivocally.”

Now they’ve really done it…

14 FIFA officials have been charged with corruption and their President is facing calls to resign, but that hasn’t stopped football’s governing body from rolling out the red carpet for the opening ceremony of its annual conference today.

Maybe they were hoping the FBI would be distracted by their glamarous host:

Or perhaps these scantily clad female dancers:

If not, there was this dude singing Swiss power ballads:

With a ballerina:

And this lady blowing some sort of Swiss national horn:

And this guy playing the drums:

All culminating bizarrely with a lady pirouetting in a circle again and again:

And fire. Lots of fire.

You wouldn’t know their bosses had just had their doors kicked down in morning raids, would you?