Remoaners can moan all they like about how meanspirited Priti’s refugee policy is, though they should look across the channel to our old friends in the EU. To bring co-conspirators up to speed, in January 2021 the EU introduced a new mechanism to refuse EU funds to national governments who breach the rule of law; in March 2021 Poland and Hungary challenged the regulation in the EU Court of Justice; last month the court dismissed Poland and Hungary’s appeal. This morning, the EU Parliament voted 478 to 155 to apply immediate sanctions on the two countries.

The Commission “must take urgent action and immediately apply the Rule of Law Conditionality Mechanism by notifying the member states concerned in writing.” In the last fortnight, Poland has taken 1.2 million Ukrainian refugees, Hungary has taken 191,348. How exactly do EU parliamentarians believe these financial sanctions will aid the two countries to clothe, feed and house the refugees in the midst of war on their borders…

A major victory has been secured by Charlie Weimers MEP over in Brussels, as the European Parliament has finally begun broadcasting GB News. Channel 115 for any co-conspirators stuck over there…

Weimers had been pressing the European Parliament administration to add the channel to the list of available programming for a fortnight, to join all the other available major UK broadcasters. Last week the parliament’s “quaestor” confirmed the move to Weimers, saying “I can confirm that GB News will be added to the bouquet list of channels as of next week”, with the channel finally coming online today. Guido recommends GB News’ presenters brush up on their French…

After a continent-wide bungling of vaccine procurement, the Brussels elite are adding insult to injury as it emerged those working for the Commission and Parliament will be vaccinated in separate centres, rather than the ones used for the rest of the city. Always trust the EU to ensure they never have to mingle with the people they ‘represent’…

According to The Brussels Times, while 31,000 staff of the European Commission, European Parliament, as well as NATO will not be formally jumping the vaccination queue, they will be vaccinated in “special areas“:

“They will not receive their jabs in the Parlamentarium or the visitor’s centre, which at first was considered as a vaccination centre for the region.

Instead, all three institutions will vaccinate their staff in special areas within their respective buildings, but these have not yet been set up, as they are still awaiting accreditations.”

Travelling on the European Gravy train requires a bespoke vaccine passport it turns out…

As Britain’s lockdown debate continues to revolve around whether scotch eggs constitute a substantial meal, over on the continent this year of the pandemic is coming to a climax in a truly European way. This morning police broke up an orgy – or as the French call it in the article, “a game of legs in the air” – in a central Brussels bar involving 25 men, among whom included at least one MEP as well as a number of diplomats. The unnamed MEP is now claiming diplomatic immunity, leading to the public interest manhunt of the year…

Prior to claiming diplomatic immunity, the anonymous MEP attempted to flee through a window, only to injure himself and give up. Depending on how serious the injury was, he may now have to sit in the European Parliament as a non-attached member…

It’s not as if the Belgian police – who currently have to enforce a maximum of two “cuddle contacts” for citizens who live alone – had a hard time tracking down the illegal party-goers, given the street the bar is on also functions as the police station’s car park

Incredibly, Brussels has form when it comes to lockdown carry-ons. In 2015 when the city was in lockdown fearing a Paris-style terrorist attack, Belgian soldiers and police enjoyed a 10 person-orgy themselves while their colleagues hunted for the Paris terror attack suspects. Post-Brexit Nigel must be missing it all…

UPDATE: Local media is reporting that a Hungarian MEP was present at the drug fuelled orgy, which took place on the first floor of a bar on Friday night. By sheer coincidence a Hungarian MEP from the governing Fidesz party suddenly resigned yesterday…

UPDATE II: The recently-resigned Hungarian MEP József Szájer has confirmed he is the culprit. Readers may enjoy learning that Szájer recently helped re-write the Hungarian constitution to include “Hungary shall protect the institution of marriage as the union of a man & a woman”…

By 621 to 49, MEPs have passed the Withdrawal Agreement, meaning that no barriers now remain to the UK leaving the EU at 11pm on Friday. Allons-y!