Charles Kennedy Died From “Major Hemorrhage”

Charles Kennedy died from a “major haemorrhage” that “was a consequence of his battle with alcoholism”, his family tells Press Association. 

Play It Again, Salm

A once great statesman reduced to loitering around the dingy bars of Westminster putting the world to rights with washed up has-beens.

The other, Alex Salmond.

Sports and Social is SNP’s Next Target

It’s not just Labour’s traditional seats in the Commons that the SNP are after, now the nationalist horde are coming for their favourite bar. The taxpayer-subsidised Sports and Social Club is popular with Labour MPs and their visiting trade union brothers, earning it the nickname “The Sports and Socialist”, but change is coming. As Guido revealed in the Sun yesterday, plans are afoot amongst SNP MPs to rename the dingy watering hole the “Rabbie Burns Bar”.

Friday Caption Contest (Salmond Champagne Edition)

Entries in the comments below.

The winner of this week will get their hands on the #EdStone:

Well a 3D printed version of it, thanks to our friends at CEL

Vinda-who: Farron / Mulholland / Lembit’s Late Night Poppadom Plot

LibDem MP Greg Mulholland is doing little to dampen speculation he is running for leader of his party. He’s twanking any mention of his ambitions and being coy with the press:

So it was a surprise to see him dining with Tim Farron late last night in that really good curry place on Rochester Row, SW1.

Could we be about to see a Farron/Mulholland ticket?

Guido was particularly pleased to hear of another guest at last night’s ‘Poppadom Plot’: Lembit.

Is everyone’s favourite LibDem back in the game?

Austerity Champers Arrives at Downing Steet

The champers is arriving in Downing Street this morning:

While it is Bollinger, back in the boom years the Downing Street champagne orders were far more lavish in size. From 2004:

Cheers!

Pic via @sean_clare

Bullingdon Wannabes: Sob Story of Labour’s Zero Hour Banter Lads

Spare a thought this morning for the plight of Labour’s zero hours letter writers. Among the names of 100 “people from all walks of life”, cobbled together by the party in response to the 100 business leaders backing the Tories, were hard-done-by Manchester students John-jo Pierce and Rory Somerville. This is their sob story:

“We come from all walks of life, this is what Britain looks like. We believe that the fundamental choice at this election is: who does this country work for? Does it work only for those at the very top or does it work for working people – those trying to make ends meet, working in British businesses across the country to create wealth and support their families?”

Here are John-jo (right) and Rory (left) showing “what Britain looks like” and how they are just “trying to make ends meet”:

These were the safe for work, family friendly pictures, from the civilised start of the evening…

Actual Pub Landlord Likes Farage, Irritated With Guardian

Farage’s pub landlord writes to his paper of choice:

As a Guardian reader for over 50 years and a Downe resident for over 20 years, including eight years as landlord of the Queen’s Head, I find your article (Big trouble in middle England, G2, 24 March) disappointing, to say the least. This was in no way a political demonstration but an ill-disciplined, attention-seeking rabble with no thought of other people’s safety or enjoyment. They booked the George & Dragon under false pretences for larger numbers and purposes than it is suitable for, thereby ruining normal customers’ afternoon enjoyment.

A large number of families use this pub and the Queen’s Head for a peaceful Sunday lunch and social gatherings. Young children with their parents (including the Farage children) were terrified by these events. Mr Farage remained calm during these so-called demonstrations and certainly had no minders, heavies or aides with him. Your correspondent omits the fact that the driver of the hired coach refused to transport the rabble back to Bromley, worried about their behaviour and no doubt his safety. Also, the article does not take into consideration the damage caused to the business and reputation of these well-run pubs. I’m not, of course, going to stop buying or reading the Guardian, but hope for a return to more balanced and objective reporting.
Alan Dear
Downe, Kent

As Brendon O’Neil says in today’s Speccie:

“It seems that for the Guardian, a person’s right to privacy is dependent upon whether he’s a nice, right-on, Hacked Off celeb like Coogan — one of Us — or a horrid, EU-opposing, boozing-and-smoking bad guy like Farage: one of Them.”

Telling…

Crosby Declares: “I’d S**k Off David Cameron”

It’s all go down under. In a wide-ranging pre-election intervention, the cast of Geordie Shore, MTV’s Newcastle-based genitourinary gorefest, have had their say on the party leaders. True blue Charlotte Crosby brings the PM some positive news, at last:

“I’d s**k off David Cameron”


One way to shut him up…[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Cabinet Drown Sorrows

Or are they celebrating?[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Labour MP: Miliband is a ‘F**king Knob’

Labour MP Simon Danczuk is full of his usual glowing praise for his leader in a Staggers interview:

“I ask Danczuk what he thought of Miliband apologising in June 2014 for agreeing to be pictured holding a World Cup issue of the Sun. 

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Axelrod and Miliband in the Sights at Punchy PLP

Guido hears that David Axelrod came under attack at a heated meeting of the Parliamentary Labour Party last night, where tempers frayed over the “disastrous direction” of Labour’s election campaign. Labour MPs sobbing into their bitter late into the night in Strangers, as reality dawned on them…

Apparently things got really gloomy when Scotland was discussed, but it was the general campaign that was the main cause for concern.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Ed’s Teenage Wild Child Years

Fresh from wowing everyone with his CV, Ed was asked about his teenage night-time exploits in his first selfie-stick interview*:

Sky: What were you like when you were 18? What were your interests? What were you up to?

EM: I cared a lot about… er… the world.

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Dam-ascene Conversion: McBride Says Vote Tory

The final pint was poured at the O’Reilly’s pub in Kentish Town  last night, which is being re-branded as some sort of awful hipster dive. With locals gathering to mourn, one person was conspicuous by his absence. The local Labour candidate.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

They Snooze, You Lose

Senior LibDem Don Foster, MP for Bath for the past 23 years, clearly thinks he can do the job in his sleep. The chain-smoking chief whip has been struggling to stay awake even during Cabinet meetings. As revealed in yesterday’s Sun, Tory ministers have been unable to hide their giggles as the 67-year-old dozes off, out of sight from his leader Nick Clegg but in full view of the Prime Minister. […] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Green Party Leader Natalie Bennett Stoner Shocker! Hesitates Before Admitting Dope Smoking

Green leader Natalie Bennett hesitated just a little too long under the forensic questioning of LBC’s Duncan Barkes this lunchtime:

DB: “Are you a drug user?”

NB: “Um, er, I… have a glass of wine most evenings…”

Natalie revealed she used to smoke dope but insisted she doesn’t “dabble” any more.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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David David responds when asked if he’s confident he can make a success of Brexit:

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