Corbynistas Plan to ‘Drink Blood of Thatcher’

Jeremy Corbyn’s supporters will be partying like it’s 1983 at the Speakeasy Bar in Epping tomorrow night. The Corbyn campaign is sponsoring an official ‘Cocktails for Corbyn‘ bash, offering drinks such as “Dianne Abbotts” [sic], described as “Champagne Socialist Martinis”, and “Kier Hardie” Old Fashioneds. Also on the menu are “Bloody Margarets“, a rather tasteless reference to the late Lady Thatcher. Only 11 people have RSVP’d so far, seems Essex isn’t a Corbynista heartland. Bloodthirsty Reds…

Corbynistas Already Planning Victory Rally

There might be a month until the ballot closes, but that hasn’t stopped some excitable Corbyn supporters from organising a mass “victory party” for their man on September 12:

Nearly 1,000 people have already signed up to attend the event, which sounds just great:

Will they be flying the red flag through the streets of London, or are they a tad premature?

Hop-ocalypse Now: Beer Would Run Out in Corbyn’s Britain

Bitter Blairite critics say the Draught Corbyn campaign couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewey, and the evidence from Venezuela suggests this is not hop-perbole. The socialist paradise is running out of beer after its main brewer was forced to shut because of a lack of imported barley:

“Members of some of the dozens of unions representing Polar workers have limited distribution of the small bottles of light beer that are favored in Venezuela.”

With Chavista Jez still a-head in the polls, his team will at the very yeast need to craft a careful response and not just dismiss this as froth. Let this be an amber warning to Corbyn supporters…

Wintour is Coming… To Serve the Beverages

plane

It sounds like Guardian Pol Ed Patrick Wintour enjoyed flying with the PM back from Asia. The Speccie have the inside story from 35,000 feet:

“Wintour – who appeared to be enjoying the champagne on offer – decided the time had come for him to be a trolley dolly and assisted an air hostess by taking the other end of the trolley.

To the surprise of ministers on the plane, he made his way down the aisle putting ice and lemon in the cups, and getting drinks out of the drawers on his side of the trolley, repeatedly shouting ‘this is so easy’.”

Must have been the jet lag…

End of an Era…

End of an error, more like…

Blogging May Be Light…

anchorman

It’s Neo-Guido’s leaving lunch this afternoon.

Guido will be drowning his sorrows down the pub later, come buy him a Guinness. Usual place…

Rain on Dave’s Parade

The PM brought back up to his summer bash for Peroni-guzzling Lobby hacks last night, but it was the weather that rained on his parade – literally. As damp Tory leadership contenders worked the thinning lawn of the Downing Street rose garden, a relaxed Dave stood side by side with Theresa May doling out titbits to a ‘doughnut’ of senior correspondents, while Saj put in a good innings. By pure coincidence, Osborne was hosting a rival party upstairs and his guests soon milled out to join the PM’s. The high turnout of ministers included Matt Hancock and Nicky Morgan, Fallon was presumably busy blowing up Syrians. Boris was conspicuous by his absence…

By contrast to the Chancellor’s austere offering of pretzels and Skips last week, the PM generously put on a decent spread of sausages, vol-au-vents and lovely little fried feta cheese pastry nibbles. Asked by mischievous visitors how much holiday he would be taking this summer, Dave zinged back: “I’ll take the same amount of time off as the Lobby”. After an hour or so’s mingling, the PM was hurriedly called back into No.10 just as the heavens threatened to open…

Dave Struggles With Another Three Letter Acronym Text

Along with Boris (late), Hammond (cold),  Fallon (sober-ish), Soubry (jolly), Hancock (bouncy) and former Aussie PM John Howard, the PM laid it on thick last night at Lynton Crosby’s victory party at the Science Museum.

Taking the stage to do his best Australian accent, Dave was sweary:

“‘Stick to your course and bloody do it…’ That is Lynton in a bloody nutshell.”

The PM also revealed he was struggling with three letter acronyms again, this time curt text messages from his campaign manager about “Paisley pyjamas or whatever”:

“I didn’t have my glasses on and could only see WEF, and I was wondering why he was talking about the World Economic Forum.  Turns out it was WTF.”

LOL…

Dave Meets UKIP

Guido is very hungover after last night’s Speccie bash. It was very hot and there was a lot of Pimms involved, also an inexplicable number of pretty models there…

Sadly no Miliband this year, instead it was Harman’s turn to pretend she wanted to be there.[…] Read the rest

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Green Party Youth’s Glastonbury Mash Up

festival-crowd-girls

The bright eyed youth wing of the Green Party are sending 100 of their members to Glastonbury Festival as part of a “sustainability project”. They will aim to establish “sustainable ‘villages’ which minimise everyone’s impact on the farm“.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Westminster Arms Faces Closure Threat

Worrying news for one of Westminster’s favourite watering holes. Guido understands that the Westminster Arms on Storey’s Gate – preferred pub of Nigel Farage and half of CCHQ – is facing a fight to stay open.

The Arms is run by Irish firebrand Gerry Dolan but co-owned by an equity company, which owns the building next door and the downstairs bar.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Desmond’s Bill

Remember Desmond’s PFL with the FT? Well:

Given Desmond’s company banned kettles from the newsroom, it’s unlikely his own papers would nod this through. […] Read the rest

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Brillo Lifts Lid on Bilderberg

That’s what they want you to think though.[…] Read the rest

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You Can’t Fault Desmond’s Taste in Wine

So Richard Desmond knows all about a PFL.

The FT reports:

“In Richard Desmond’s hands, simple objects become terrifying. There’s the receptionist’s bell that he uses to interrupt executives in board meetings, or the cups of tea that occasionally fly over underlings.

[…] Read the rest

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#PFL Explained

keep-calm-and-go-to-a-boozy-lunch-2

The concept of a Nigel Farage “PFL” – proper f**king lunch – should not come as a surprise to regular readers. What was that about, asks Emily Maitless innocently on Newsnight last night:

Well from Guido’s hazy memory, lunch with Farage usually consists of: “two Bloody Marys, a bottle of white, two bottles of red and a cheeky port.” Last time Nige even paid….[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Charles Kennedy Died From “Major Hemorrhage”

Charles Kennedy died from a “major haemorrhage” that “was a consequence of his battle with alcoholism”, his family tells Press Association. […] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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