“Jeremy is Full of Sh*t!” Liverpool Fans Give Corbyn a Song

On Saturday afternoon Jeremy Corbyn had the misfortune of sharing a train carriage with a group of refreshed Liverpool fans still smarting from their defeat at home to struggling Swansea. The Scousers spied the Labour leader and gave him a song. To the tune of “When the Saints Go Marching In”:

“Oh Jeremy!

(Oh Jeremy!)

Is full of sh*t!

(Is full of sh*t!) 

Oh Jeremy is full of sh*t,

He’s full sh*t, sh*t and more sh*t,

Oh Jeremy is full of sh*t!”

They later gave him a rendition of “Get your policies out for the lads”. Corbyn and his vocal critics eventually made up and posed for a selfie on the platform:

What is it with Jez and eventful train journeys…

One Line Whip This Evening as Whips Bond at the Theatre

The Commons will be quieter than usual post-PMQs as MPs are on a one line whip, effectively giving them the evening off. Surely nothing to do with the joint Tory and Labour whips office trip to see This House tonight. Gavin Williamson and Nick Brown and their respective teams will be bonding at the Garrick for the play at which fashionable politicos must be seen, set in the Tory and Labour whips offices back in the seventies. The freebie includes drinks on the on stage bar, on a school night too…

Merry Christmas

Parliament is in recess, Guido’s liver needs to go into remission, the parliamentary news sausage machine has been switched off. The Dead Tree Press will be empty of news. We too will be taking a break from breaking news…

News flow will be light, we will still be uploading this and that, highlighting things that have amazed, amused and angered us and our co-conspirators. The daily Guidogram email will be as intermittent as if it was delivered by the Communications Workers Union. To all you news junkies and political obssessives, Guido’s advice is, take a break. We wish you all, a very merry Christmas…

Christmas Lunch After Party

Corbyn Uses Chilcot Report as Office Doorstop

Jeremy Corbyn issued a snub to The Canary last night by only inviting the MSM to his Christmas drinks party. The Labour leader catered for a non-veggie crowd with a spread including pork pies and chicken legs, as well as a selection of ales, lagers and wines, and his “leader’s boardroom” was decorated with Christmas lights and a tree topped with a red star. They never had this under Miliband – good to see Labour’s newfound riches from their new members being put to good use…

Guido was however most amused by Jezza’s choice of doorstop. A copy of the Chilcot report…

Expensive Lunch With Farage

Never let it be said that Guido doesn’t keep his word. His bet against Trump had to be settled. Lunch was no PFL – only a two bottler of a reasonable premier grand cru – Guido had to catch a flight and Nigel is doing Question Time tonight. In the circumstances Nige’ picked up the tab…

Public Health England Retracts Alcohol Claim After Getting Sums Wrong

phe

This morning Public Health England released its ‘alcohol evidence review’, the top line being this eye-catching statistic:

“people are drinking twice as much as they did 40 years ago”

This is the first statistic mentioned in the press release, it’s the finding Public Health England wanted to give the most prominence and feature on newspaper front pages tomorrow. Just one problem, it’s entirely bogus. Public Health England have this afternoon retracted the claim after admitting they got their sums wrong. A spokesman tells Guido that an “error” was made with their data, describing the mishap as “unfortunate“. Public Health England have issued the following clarification:

“people are drinking more than they did in the past”

Makes you wonder, what else are Public Health England getting wrong?

End of the Party for the Telegraph

tel

For the first time in recent memory there will be no Telegraph party at Tory conference. Traditionally the Torygraph bash has one of the more exclusive guestlists – Dave and George used to show up, Philip Hammond was once turned away – this year they’ve canned the whole thing. Sticking five figures behind the bar so execs can get sloshed with the Cabinet wouldn’t be a good look in a year when they’ve laid off so many journalists. Shame, the Facebook live stream would have gone totes viral…

Come On a Westminster Pub Crawl

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WikiGuido takes you on a pub crawl through SW1 for Spectator Life, your essential guide to who drinks where among Westminster’s best and worst watering holes. Read it here. Hic.

Tequila Tucker Goes for Gold

tucker-gold
Grant Tucker, Times Diarist and man about town, went to the GQ Awards (sponsored by Patron Tequila) – his Facebook update the next morning is self explanatory:

That moment when you wake up more hungover that you have ever been, notice something heavy in your pocket, check to see what it is, and then realise you’ve borrowed one of Team GB’s Olympic medals. I have some apologising to do.

Sadly how this story ended has not been revealed in The Times diary…

Corbyn Loves an After-Work Drinks Session With the Lads

drinks

Teetotal Jeremy Corbyn’s latest policy to win the support of traditional working class Labour voters is that after-work drinks are sexist. Jez reckons “early evening socialisation discriminates against mothers”. The photo above shows him at an after-work drinks party he hosted for Lobby journalists which went on from 6pm until 9pm. His top aide Seumas Milne even stayed out boozing with the lads. Not many women in that photo…

jez2

Turns out Jezza is quite a fan of going down the pub. Here he is singing the Red Flag with his blokey mates in footage captured by Russia Today. And here he is at Westminster’s Sanctuary pub addressing a boozy crowd. Can you spot any mothers? 

pub2

Not many women in this photo of Jez at the pub with his brother, either:

corb

Maybe he has a point…

Woolfe Claims UKIP Plot as Cops Say He Faces No Further Action

woolfe2

Remember the curiously-timed revelation that Steven Woolfe was once nicked for being drunk in charge of a scooter? Well, a member of the public – surely not a rival ‘Kipper – called the cops and complained that he had broken the law again by failing to declare his conviction when he ran as a Police and Crime Commissioner. Greater Manchester Police have seen sense and told the complainant to stop being so silly, confirming he faces no further action. Woolfe says it was part of a plot:

“This was one of several attempts by political opponents, using information on UKIP databases, to damage my reputation and ensure I could not stand as party leader.”

Someone certainly has it in for him…

Downing Street Boozing Kiboshed

may

Philip Hammond has joined Theresa May in cancelling a get-to-know-you drinks party for journalists. Last week the new PM, who is famously not a gossip and is keen to end the spinning / briefing culture of the old regime, called off her planned drinks bash with the Lobby. To be fair she was a little busy – it was at that point that Leadsom had just pulled out. Now this evening’s planned drinkies with the Chancellor at the Treasury are off as well, though hacks have been assured they’re only postponed until the autumn. Shame, it was a nice day for it. Pub?

SNP Celebrate England Out of Europe

According to the EyeSpy.MP Twitter account, this video purportedly shows Scots Nats celebrating England being knocked out of the Euros last night. Happy with us leaving Europe…

Long Day at the Office, Prime Minister?

According to the EyeSpy.MP Twitter account, Dave followed his ITV Q&A last night with a fag and a pint on the Commons terrace. Long day at the office?

Drunk Again Juncker Happy Slapping EU Leaders

He calls Hungary’s PM Viktor Orbán “the dictator” in front of the press…

Corbyn’s Brother Hopes He Votes Leave

One man stole the show at the after-party for the premiere of Brexit: The Movie, Jeremy Corbyn’s brother Piers. Guido shared a beer and a laugh with the Labour leader’s climate change sceptic, Brexit-backing sibling, who explained that Jezza is a “long-term Eurosceptic” who “has been voting with Graham Stringer [the Labour Outer] for years”, but is now in “party management mode“. Piers insisted “I don’t know how he’s going to vote”. But he expressed a hope that his brother “does the right thing and votes out”…

The sponsors for Martin Durkin’s must-watch documentary put £30,000 behind the bar at the W London in Leicester Square, which went by midnight. Piers then went all meteorological on us, warning guests that major thunderstorms are coming our way around mid-August, approximately the 13th or 14th, including the possibility of hailstones. He advises holidaymakers best avoid Britain, France and most of western and northern Europe for the period. It’s his brother who will be experiencing real turbulence…

Boozy ‘Boris For PM’ Parties

Last month Boris wooed 40 or so Tory MPs at a boozy drinks party hosted by his unofficial campaign manager Nigel Adams at his luxury riverside apartment. Those in attendance say the bash was an attempt to wine and dine those backbenchers with whom he does not have a particularly strong relationship. The Boris operation has clearly stepped up a gear – Adams and Chris Heaton-Harris are hosting another party at their flat “for Vote Leave colleagues” in June. BoJo is expected to attend…

Parties thrown by Adams and Heaton-Harris are famous for having only one rule: “NFJ“. No f**king journalists…

PCH Staff Warned: Urinal Lot of Trouble

Pee

Spotted on the door of a PCH loo today. One Cabinet minister in particular will be feeling relieved

Leadsom and Mordaunt Woo Outers Over Wine

Since he declared for Leave the odds on Boris joining Osborne in a leadership final have shortened, with ambitious colleagues jostling for position. Andrea Leadsom and Penny Mordaunt have both previously been tipped to mount leadership bids, they are both Outers who help run the intriguing ‘Fresh Start’ group of Tory MPs.[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Tory MP Nick Boles says what everyone thinks…

“There is a timidity and lack of ambition about Mrs May’s Government which means it constantly disappoints. Time to raise your game, Prime Minister.”

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