Labour Shadow Cabinet Drown Their Sorrows

Labour’s leadership contest was in full swing last night after the PLP hustings, with almost all contenders taking to Strangers bar to lobby fellow MPs. Parliament’s bar’s veterans were amazed to see the likes of Starmer, Long-Bailey, Rayner, Thornberry and Phillips – almost never been spotted there – getting merry. Damian McBride, no stranger to Strangers, was seen pressing the flesh on behalf his mistress, the Shadow Foreign Secretary, in the forlorn search for a single endorsement. Burgon almost found his way to Strangers, instead he ended up having his dinner in the Commons canteen with Cat Smith instead, in turn missing a few votes…

After staying until closing in the newly inclusive Strangers bar (now allowing staff in as well as MPs) – an elite group of the Shadow Cabinet headed off to Players bar – where the resentful attitude of attending Labourites towards the Shadow Cabinet members for losing the election made things decidedly less merry. Ashworth, Louise Haigh, Chris Bryant and Lord Adonis still managed to enjoy themselves, dad-dancing and loudly singing along to apropos lyrics, “Losing everything, it’s like the sun going down on me”. Sad…

In the end, a row erupted after a singer in the bar adapted the lyrics of Frank Sinatra’s ‘My Way’ to say “the record shows, we took the blows and we lost ’cause of your way”. Chris Bryant shot back with “no we didn’t” eventually resulting in the singer calling the Shadow Cabinet “c**ts”. Singing truth to the powerless.

Expect Labour MPs to be getting on the booze a lot over the coming months…

mdi-timer 8th January 2020 @ 10:27 am 8th Jan 2020 @ 10:27 am mdi-comment Comments
CCTV Footage of Ross Thomson Incident Requested Under GDPR

Parliamentary Authorities are expected to release CCTV footage from last Tuesday evening in Strangers’ Bar in the House of Commons, where multiple witnesses say they saw Scottish Tory MP Ross Thomson drunkenly grope men. Over the weekend Thomson dug in saying “these allegations from anonymous sources are completely false”… a panicky claim that may prove to have been unwise.

Someone who was present in the bar at the time has requested CCTV footage of the evening from parliament’s Information Rights and Information Security (IRIS) Service, which they are entitled to do under GDPR. A response will be provided within a month…

“Thank you for your clarification and ID, received today. We understand your request to be for CCTV footage of yourself in the House of Commons on Tuesday 5 February

We will now progress your request and provide a response no later than 12 March 2019, in accordance with your rights under the General Data Protection Regulations (GDPRs).”

Guido doesn’t see how Parliamentary authorities can withhold the evidence of this footage…

mdi-timer 12th February 2019 @ 10:04 am 12th Feb 2019 @ 10:04 am mdi-comment Comments
Scottish Tory MP Removed From Strangers Bar By Police

Scottish Tory MP for Aberdeen South, Ross Thomson, was removed by police from Strangers’ Bar in Parliament last night after groping male visitors. An eyewitness who saw the incident unfold inside the bar told Guido the story…

“He was in Strangers last night drunk and was groping young men who had guest passes on. Grabbing their backside and genitals and trying to put his hands down people’s pants.

Many people watched on in disgust and I saw someone pull him to one side to ask him to leave. He returned around four times after being chaperoned out and carried on groping people.

It became so unpleasant that the police had been called and eventually escorted him out of the bar after taking statements in the corridor. I believe the Sergeant at Arms is also aware of the incident.”

Questions had previously been raised after Thomson paid back expenses for a hotel room he shared with a male friend he later employed in his office.

Ross is a well liked MP but his behaviour here lands him in very hot water…

His office are not answering calls. He is not answering his mobile phone. CCHQ will only say “we’re looking into it”.

UPDATE: Scotland Yard confirm: “Police were called to a bar within the Palace of Westminster following a report of sexual touching. Officers attended and spoke to the parties involved – three men in their 20s and 30s. However, no formal allegations were made to the officers and no arrests were made.”

mdi-timer 6th February 2019 @ 3:01 pm 6th Feb 2019 @ 3:01 pm mdi-comment Comments
Strictly Lavery Maybot Dancing

Guido’s not really sure what is going on here…

mdi-timer 4th October 2018 @ 5:30 pm 4th Oct 2018 @ 5:30 pm mdi-comment Comments
Refurbished Sports & Social Bar Limits Number of Guests

Guido hears that alongside the transformation of Parliament’s infamous Sports and Social bar into ‘The Wool Sack’, Parliamentary authorities have sneakily reduced the number of guests allowed to be brought into the bar by a passholder from six to just two. Passholders on the Parliamentary estate can still take up to six guests elsewhere…

This move appears to be an attempt to crack down on rowdy behaviour after the bar faced closure last year over a glassing. Guido isn’t convinced about this move. From his experience, it usually isn’t the guests who make the trouble…

mdi-timer 18th September 2018 @ 9:01 am 18th Sep 2018 @ 9:01 am mdi-comment Comments
Salmond Shows He’s Still the Thirst Minister

Nicola Sturgeon said the “eyes of the world” would be on Scotland as she launched her war on Scotland’s drinkers with a minimum alcohol pricing law that came into force in May. She will be wishing the eyes of the world weren’t on her predecessor Alex Salmond after he was pictured rolling around on the floor of a Virgin Trains First Class carriage earlier this week. Did he catch the Buckfast service?

He insists not, and says he was just looking for his phone under the seat. As Salmond himself said at the time the ban came in: “I don’t campaign for these things because I think it’s a grand idea that people get tanked up before they out out on a night out and cause mayhem in the streets and villages and communities of our country.” Will Sturgeon be reeling Salmond in or just leave him to flounder around?

mdi-timer 13th July 2018 @ 4:39 pm 13th Jul 2018 @ 4:39 pm mdi-comment Comments
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