Len and Seumas’ Champagne Celebration

Allies of Len McCluskey mocked Gerard Coyne and Labour Blairites earlier by claiming they would be drowning their sorrows with “Peroni and chablis”. Well, tonight Red Len is drinking champagne at a victory party with Seumas Milne and a who’s who of lefties at Boot and Flogger by London Bridge. A bar in the heart of the City, famous for serving champagne in tankards…

UPDATE: The cheapest bottle of champagne at Len’s victory party is £51. The group have got through 20+ bottles of bubbly as of 8:52pm.

Polish MP Complains About Jean-Claude Druncker

Polish MP Krystyna Pawłowicz has written to Jean-Claude Juncker complaining that his “obvious alcohol dependency” has become a “problem of the entire European community”. Pawłowicz claims Juncker’s drinking was “particularly distasteful and out of place” during the visit of Pope Francis and accuses him of “offensive” behaviour towards “women who were certainly too polite to ask you to take a rest”.

No one would ever have known

UKIP Toast Loss of Only MP

With a nod to Douglas Carswell’s trademark sunglasses emoji, UKIP’s NEC break open the bubbly to toast the loss of their only MP…

Boris and Dave ‘Stood on Chairs’ at Harlem Restaurant

Twitter employee Joanna Geary was in the Red Rooster restaurant in Harlem last night when she bumped into the Foreign Secretary dining with an old friend. She says “I hadn’t seen David until Boris said “‘I suspect you’ll recognise my friend David’ and pointed in his direction”. Team Boris strongly deny allegations of dad dancing, though Reuters‘ Anjuli Davies alleges some standing on chairs:

UPDATE: A spokesman for Boris Johnson said: “The picture is of Boris trying to get out of a very tight seating area against the wall in the restaurant. Nearly all the other members of the group on that side had to do the same (step up and over) to get out.

Once a Bullingdon boy…

Hammond Invites Colleagues to Reconciliation Drinkies

After days of vicious negative briefings against him from Number 10, and 19 Tory MPs publicly opposing his Budget, Philip Hammond is looking to heal wounds. This afternoon the Chancellor invited MPs to a reconciliation drinks party at his Commons office, where he will no doubt be reassuring colleagues over his National Insurance rise. (Or ditching it.) Note the date, March 27, is one of the rumoured dates Article 50 could be triggered. Guido has the invitation:

Subject: Chancellor Drinks Reception – Monday 27 March

Dear Colleague,

I am writing to invite you to drinks with the Chancellor, on Monday 27th March, 18.30 – 19.30. The event will take place in the Chancellor’s Commons Office, Room 21c Ministerial Corridor.

Please let me know if you are able to attend.

Very best

John Glen MP
PPS to Rt Hon Philip Hammond MP

Assume Theresa May’s aides are NFI…

Sham-pagne Socialist

Via the EyeSpy.MP Twitter account, Shami reportedly on the fizz this afternoon as her colleagues in the Lords begin their Brexit debate…

Relative of Nicola Sturgeon “Burned Money in front of Homeless Man”

Guido can reveal that the Cambridge student who allegedly burnt a £20 note in front of a homeless man is related to Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. Ronald Coyne, a law student at Pembroke College who is a member of the Cambridge University Conservative Association, was filmed brandishing the cash and a cigarette lighter last week. Sources tell Guido that Coyne has previously repeatedly boasted about his relationship to Sturgeon. A Scottish government spokesman says they are not “directly” related. A senior Scottish government source confirms to Guido that they are “distant” relatives by marriage. 

Coyne has been expelled by the Cambridge University Conservative Association following the incident. A CUCA spokesman told Guido:

This occurred in the private capacity of the individual – he was not attending a CUCA event. Despite this, his membership was immediately revoked when we heard what had happened.

A University spokesperson said:

The University is committed to respecting the rights and dignity of all members of our community. We expect our students to treat others with respect, courtesy and consideration at all times, and the University takes allegations of unacceptable behaviour very seriously. We do not comment on individual cases.

Coyne did not respond to Guido’s repeated attempts to contact him. Most embarrassing for Nicola that he’s a Tory…

Article 50 Party at Downing Street Next Week

The tabling of the Article 50 Bill was an historic moment that Eurosceptics have waited decades to witness, and Downing Street will be throwing a party next week for Tory MPs to celebrate. On Tuesday the Commons is sitting until midnight for the Bill’s second reading. Thirsty MPs in need of refreshments can decamp to Number 9 Downing Street from 7pm where chief whip Gavin Williamson and party chairman Patrick McLoughlin will be hosting colleagues at a bash “to mark this significant event”. As invites to Downing Street drinkies go, this will be one of the best-received in years…

“Jeremy is Full of Sh*t!” Liverpool Fans Give Corbyn a Song

On Saturday afternoon Jeremy Corbyn had the misfortune of sharing a train carriage with a group of refreshed Liverpool fans still smarting from their defeat at home to struggling Swansea. The Scousers spied the Labour leader and gave him a song. To the tune of “When the Saints Go Marching In”:

“Oh Jeremy!

(Oh Jeremy!)

Is full of sh*t!

(Is full of sh*t!) 

Oh Jeremy is full of sh*t,

He’s full sh*t, sh*t and more sh*t,

Oh Jeremy is full of sh*t!”

They later gave him a rendition of “Get your policies out for the lads”. Corbyn and his vocal critics eventually made up and posed for a selfie on the platform:

What is it with Jez and eventful train journeys…

One Line Whip This Evening as Whips Bond at the Theatre

The Commons will be quieter than usual post-PMQs as MPs are on a one line whip, effectively giving them the evening off. Surely nothing to do with the joint Tory and Labour whips office trip to see This House tonight. Gavin Williamson and Nick Brown and their respective teams will be bonding at the Garrick for the play at which fashionable politicos must be seen, set in the Tory and Labour whips offices back in the seventies. The freebie includes drinks on the on stage bar, on a school night too…

Merry Christmas

Parliament is in recess, Guido’s liver needs to go into remission, the parliamentary news sausage machine has been switched off. The Dead Tree Press will be empty of news. We too will be taking a break from breaking news…

News flow will be light, we will still be uploading this and that, highlighting things that have amazed, amused and angered us and our co-conspirators. The daily Guidogram email will be as intermittent as if it was delivered by the Communications Workers Union. To all you news junkies and political obssessives, Guido’s advice is, take a break. We wish you all, a very merry Christmas…

Christmas Lunch After Party

Corbyn Uses Chilcot Report as Office Doorstop

Jeremy Corbyn issued a snub to The Canary last night by only inviting the MSM to his Christmas drinks party. The Labour leader catered for a non-veggie crowd with a spread including pork pies and chicken legs, as well as a selection of ales, lagers and wines, and his “leader’s boardroom” was decorated with Christmas lights and a tree topped with a red star. They never had this under Miliband – good to see Labour’s newfound riches from their new members being put to good use…

Guido was however most amused by Jezza’s choice of doorstop. A copy of the Chilcot report…

Expensive Lunch With Farage

Never let it be said that Guido doesn’t keep his word. His bet against Trump had to be settled. Lunch was no PFL – only a two bottler of a reasonable premier grand cru – Guido had to catch a flight and Nigel is doing Question Time tonight. In the circumstances Nige’ picked up the tab…

Public Health England Retracts Alcohol Claim After Getting Sums Wrong

phe

This morning Public Health England released its ‘alcohol evidence review’, the top line being this eye-catching statistic:

“people are drinking twice as much as they did 40 years ago”

This is the first statistic mentioned in the press release, it’s the finding Public Health England wanted to give the most prominence and feature on newspaper front pages tomorrow. Just one problem, it’s entirely bogus. Public Health England have this afternoon retracted the claim after admitting they got their sums wrong. A spokesman tells Guido that an “error” was made with their data, describing the mishap as “unfortunate“. Public Health England have issued the following clarification:

“people are drinking more than they did in the past”

Makes you wonder, what else are Public Health England getting wrong?

End of the Party for the Telegraph

tel

For the first time in recent memory there will be no Telegraph party at Tory conference. Traditionally the Torygraph bash has one of the more exclusive guestlists – Dave and George used to show up, Philip Hammond was once turned away – this year they’ve canned the whole thing. Sticking five figures behind the bar so execs can get sloshed with the Cabinet wouldn’t be a good look in a year when they’ve laid off so many journalists. Shame, the Facebook live stream would have gone totes viral…

Come On a Westminster Pub Crawl

pub4

WikiGuido takes you on a pub crawl through SW1 for Spectator Life, your essential guide to who drinks where among Westminster’s best and worst watering holes. Read it here. Hic.

Tequila Tucker Goes for Gold

tucker-gold
Grant Tucker, Times Diarist and man about town, went to the GQ Awards (sponsored by Patron Tequila) – his Facebook update the next morning is self explanatory:

That moment when you wake up more hungover that you have ever been, notice something heavy in your pocket, check to see what it is, and then realise you’ve borrowed one of Team GB’s Olympic medals. I have some apologising to do.

Sadly how this story ended has not been revealed in The Times diary…

Corbyn Loves an After-Work Drinks Session With the Lads

drinks

Teetotal Jeremy Corbyn’s latest policy to win the support of traditional working class Labour voters is that after-work drinks are sexist. Jez reckons “early evening socialisation discriminates against mothers”. The photo above shows him at an after-work drinks party he hosted for Lobby journalists which went on from 6pm until 9pm. His top aide Seumas Milne even stayed out boozing with the lads. Not many women in that photo…

jez2

Turns out Jezza is quite a fan of going down the pub. Here he is singing the Red Flag with his blokey mates in footage captured by Russia Today. And here he is at Westminster’s Sanctuary pub addressing a boozy crowd. Can you spot any mothers? 

pub2

Not many women in this photo of Jez at the pub with his brother, either:

corb

Maybe he has a point…

Woolfe Claims UKIP Plot as Cops Say He Faces No Further Action

woolfe2

Remember the curiously-timed revelation that Steven Woolfe was once nicked for being drunk in charge of a scooter? Well, a member of the public – surely not a rival ‘Kipper – called the cops and complained that he had broken the law again by failing to declare his conviction when he ran as a Police and Crime Commissioner.[…] Read the rest

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