Harman Horror at Penile Drugs Injection

Guido was having a Friday afternoon peruse of the Southwark News when he suddenly crossed his legs and winced:

Southwark council leader Peter John recalls the time Harriet Harman visited the Ayelsbury council estate with a local councillor:

“They were in a lift and a man was injecting drugs into his penis. That’s not a sign of a successful community. That’s not the kind of community we want to see.”

Funnily enough not an anecdote ever repeated in one of Hattie’s speeches. She’ll never be able to hear the words ‘lift shaft’ the same way…

Green Party Press Office Glasto Come Down

lucas bennett

The Green Party press office has had a ‘mare this morning, sending out a series of competing emails as both Caroline Lucas and Natalie Bennett vied for attention. It seems no one is quite sure who the real leader of their party is…

09:43:

“Lancashire councillors have chance to “draw a line under the government’s fracking fantasy”, says Natalie Bennett”

11:37:

Lucas, the Green Party MP for Brighton Pavilion, labelled the decision a ‘fantsastic victory’ in spite of Government efforts to ‘force through fracking’.”

‘Fantsastic’

12:20:

“Green Party leader Natalie Bennett has welcomed Lancashire County Council’s decision to refuse a planning application for fracking”

12:35:

“CORRECTION: The below quote was just sent out in Green Party leader Natalie Bennett‘s name, but it should have been attributed to Green MP for Brighton Pavilion Caroline Lucas. Apologies for any confusion.”

Did they all get mashed at Glasto, or something?

Green Party Youth’s Glastonbury Mash Up

festival-crowd-girls

The bright eyed youth wing of the Green Party are sending 100 of their members to Glastonbury Festival as part of a “sustainability project”. They will aim to establish “sustainable ‘villages’ which minimise everyone’s impact on the farm“. While getting badgered…

Cannabis Campaigners For Corbyn

Coach loads of trots are being bussed into London on Saturday for a union-funded End Austerity Now march on parliament. Jeremy Corbyn will be there, hoping to convince as many as he can to pay their £3 and sign up to vote.

Among those joining Corbyn will be the “Cannabis Campaigners Against Austerity” group, who sound like they have a fun day planned:

Forget this lot, what were the MPs who nominated him smoking?

The Queen: Psychoactive Drugs

Meanwhile, in Ibiza…

The Milibands have been spotted having it large.

PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: Ed Lands in Ibiza

Looks like he’s ready to party.

Checking Twitter…

Witness: Milibands Going to Ibiza

Apparently Miliband is on his way to Ibiza:

Heading out for the opening parties?

The big question being: is he staying at Chuka’s place

No Backing for Bad Boy Baldwin

One important face was missing from the backstage ‘spin room’ at last Thursday leaders’ Question Time encounter: Ed Miliband’s controversial media henchman Tom Baldwin.

In the last year Baldwin has been criticised for comparing a tax row to the death of ‘Milly Dowler’, making a sick jibe about cancer to a journalist, using the term ‘weaponise’ about the NHS and finally, last Monday, blaming the Prime Minister for migrant deaths in the Med, triggering a huge political row.

Word reaches Guido that Miliband was furious with Baldwin’s bloody briefing and his spokesman declined the opportunity to comment when asked whether Ed would take his controversial spin king into Downing Street should he win on Thursday.

“When the spokesman needs a spokesman”, as the old saying goes…

And Now… a Party Political Broadcast From the ‘Cannabis is Safer Than Alcohol’ Party

Ashcroft Reaffirms Dave Bio Is Post Election

Boo! There was a growing school of thought that Lord Ashcroft would bring forward publication of has ‘gak and all’ biography of Cameron to this side of the election. Especially after he resigned the Tory whip and his seat in the Lords. Yet it is not to be: Call Me Dave is out for conference.

It seems he’s pretty grumpy about the whole thing though, writing on ConservativeHome:

“I have made it clear that my book, a collaboration with former Sunday Times Political Editor Isabel Oakeshott, will be objective. Nonetheless Cameron is suspicious. It is no secret that he dislikes the prospect of what he dismissively labels “the Ashcroft book”. We have tried, and failed, to persuade him to talk. While Seldon has had full co-operation from Number 10 (I am told “everybody” – from Ed Llewellyn, Cameron’s chief of staff, down – has been encouraged to make time for the historian) the Prime Minister has shut the doors to us. Letters to relatives requesting interviews have gone unanswered, and senior aides know he does not want them to help. Some individuals who were willing to talk to us in principle but wanted Downing Street’s blessing were repeatedly stonewalled. Cameron’s strategy appears to be: put up the shutters, then rubbish the book on the basis that we have had no access.”

It’s going to be an expensive academic exercise if Dave is not the PM come September…

Bullingdon Wannabes: Sob Story of Labour’s Zero Hour Banter Lads

Spare a thought this morning for the plight of Labour’s zero hours letter writers. Among the names of 100 “people from all walks of life”, cobbled together by the party in response to the 100 business leaders backing the Tories, were hard-done-by Manchester students John-jo Pierce and Rory Somerville. This is their sob story:

“We come from all walks of life, this is what Britain looks like. We believe that the fundamental choice at this election is: who does this country work for? Does it work only for those at the very top or does it work for working people – those trying to make ends meet, working in British businesses across the country to create wealth and support their families?”

Here are John-jo (right) and Rory (left) showing “what Britain looks like” and how they are just “trying to make ends meet”:

These were the safe for work, family friendly pictures, from the civilised start of the evening…

Glue Labour, Glue Danger

Jim Murphy has had been forced to deny rumours he sniffed glue as a youth. After the Scottish Labour leader said he ‘couldn’t remember’ if he had tried it, his spokesman claimed he nae honked:

“Just to be clear, Mr Murphy has never taken drugs. The point he was making at the Glasgow University debate was that when he was growing up drugs weren’t as widespread and that the harmful thing for many people back then was glue sniffing. For the record that’s not something Mr Murphy has tried either.”

An allegation like that could really stick.

Green Party Leader Natalie Bennett Stoner Shocker! Hesitates Before Admitting Dope Smoking

Green leader Natalie Bennett hesitated just a little too long under the forensic questioning of LBC’s Duncan Barkes this lunchtime:

DB: “Are you a drug user?”

NB: “Um, er, I… have a glass of wine most evenings…”

Natalie revealed she used to smoke dope but insisted she doesn’t “dabble” any more. Could have fooled anyone who has read her manifesto…

Baldwin Spins Cancer Story Despite Sick Bone Marrow Outrage

baldwin-cancer

“Labour will tackle scandal of cancer patients denied life-saving treatment” screams the press machine this morning. “Labour will create a new annual Cancer Treatments Fund to improve access not just to the latest drugs but also to the latest forms of radiotherapy and surgery that are too often not available for thousands of people with cancer.” Worthy stuff.

Guido thought today would be a good time check up on how the internal Labour party investigation is going into out-of-control psycho-spinner Tom Baldwin. As Guido revealed a few weeks ago, Baldwin told a journalist that even if “he was dying he wouldn’t want his bone marrow.”

After near universal condemnation for the sick outburst, something was promised to be done.

Guido wonders what that well known leukaemia campaigner and Baldwin’s mentor Alastair Campbell has to say about it all?

Ben Bradshaw’s Suit Gone to Pot

Troubled times for the children of Blair. Ben Bradshaw is wandering around in a hole-ridden suit. Admittedly Guido doesn’t like it when he has to dispose of a Savile Row number either, but it’s hardly a good look. Bradshaw is blaming Parliament’s infestation of moths – and the authorities have confirmed there is a problem. Though it looks a suspiciously like hot rock damage to Guido. Has Ben been “sharing his sister’s rollie” again?

Chuka Boasts of Mystery Girlfriend

The Shadow Business Secretary and closet DJ Chuka Umunna has been boasting about what good mates he is with Tinie Tempah: “Tinie and I are friends, we go way back,” he told the Standard at a party: “We’re both Nigerian, both from south London. He’s from Peckham, I’m Streatham.” He even got a hug from the rapper later.

It was party boy Chuka’s chat with City AM’s diarist that really caught Guido’s attention though. Apparently Chuka prefers staying in now:

“I love watching Gogglebox with my girlfriend.”

A shocking revelation… What is it about Gogglebox’s constant laying into Ed Miliband that Chuka enjoys the most?

10 Illiberal Policies of the LibDems

Nick Clegg, that bastion of liberalism, is going around blaming David Cameron’s illiberal policies for the deaths of drug users this morning. Even a LibDem voter on an acid trip could see through Clegg’s conversion to a fearless crusader for the cause of freedom. This is the same Nick Clegg whose party wants to tax fizzy drinks more, tax booze more, change the definition of cider so they can tax it more, ban branding on fag packets, ban houses that are not zero carbon, ban smoking in cars, ban smoking in pubs and restaurants, ban petrol and diesel cars, implement state regulation of the press and regulate goldfish. What would Gladstone say?

Dave the Rave: Tories Launch Ibiza Branch

Chuka Umunna is not the only politico on Ibiza this summer. The Tories have just launched their own Balearic branch of Conservatives Abroad:

“Ibiza is renowned for attracting the world’s party people and last week was no exception as Conservatives Abroad launched its latest new branch  – Conservatives Abroad Ibiza. Overlooking the secluded bay of Porroig, residents and visitors mingled in the beautiful home and gardens of Charlie and Louise Bracken for cocktails and canapes, generously sponsored by Ibiza-Southerbys.”

How long before Ed Vaizey jets out for a fundraiser?

Anarchists, Trots and Anti-Zionist Loonies Protest Fracking

The people of Blackpool have today been besieged by anti-fracking wackos in need of a wash. No Dash for Gas like to present themselves as local, normal “mothers and grandmothers…wearing aprons,” who just want to make a polite point about shale gas.[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Tory MP Nick Boles says what everyone thinks…

“There is a timidity and lack of ambition about Mrs May’s Government which means it constantly disappoints. Time to raise your game, Prime Minister.”

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