Criminal at the Heart of Downing Street

Following the news that Nicolas Sarkozy has this morning been formally charged with corruption and influence peddling, will Ed Miliband be raising questions about a criminal brought into the heart of Downing Street by a former Labour Prime Minister? He was doomed…

GUY NEWS SPECIAL: David Ruffley: The Voters’ Verdict

[jwplatform src=”http://content.jwplatform.com/players/qpOpQmTS-mCjhiWMJ.js”]

Guy News has travelled down to Bury St. Edmunds to ask David Ruffley’s constituents whether they think it is appropriate for a man who has accepted a caution for assaulting a woman to remain as their MP. The people have spoken, and they want a by-election…

THE TRUTH: Rebekah Brooks Cleared of All Charges

LOL!

Andy Coulson is guilty of phone hacking.

Headache for No.10…

Where is the Outrage at David Ruffley?

Guido has tried to warn the Tories, and the world, about David Ruffley’s anger management problems before, reporting on his “obnoxious” behaviour towards staff leading to bright-eyed hopefuls leaving his office in floods of tears. Let’s not forget the lawsuits and the rumours of throwing bins at staff.

And so it came pass, when it emerged over the weekend that Ruffley has accepted a police caution for domestic violence, admitting to assaulting his then girlfriend in March of this year. What is the world coming to when one Tory MP faces a lynch mob and condemnation from the Prime Minister and thousands of others for an ill-advised hypothetical joke tweet, but another Tory MP, who accepts a caution for assaulting a woman, faces no action from his party?

The Adventures of SuperSoubs

By day she goes about her unassuming office job as the mild-mannered Parliamentary Under-Secretary for Defence, but when her ‘Soubry-sense is tingling’  the glasses come off and she turns into a Woman of Steel. Customers at a Pret-a-Manger were left bewildered as to the identity of the ‘bloused-crusader’ who saved them from the latest violent menace striking fear into the streets of Westminster. The crime fighter extraordinaire, who goes only by the name of SuperSoubs, used her powers of ‘Super Stern Shouting’ and glaring to fight off an attack on two innocent sandwich shop workers. She told reporters from the Daily Planet:

“I always pop into this Pret to pick up a coffee in the morning. I know the barrista well and he’s a nice guy. I just shouted at the drunk guy, ‘stop it, stop it now’, and put myself between them. They often listen to women because they don’t expect it from you. If you’re a man you’re more than likely to get smacked.”

And with that she was up, up and away. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s SuperSoubs…

Ed in Thurrock: Labour Councillor Faces Benefit Fraud Charges

As if there weren’t already enough rakes to step on for Ed Miliband in Thurrock, a local Labour councillor has been charged with benefit fraud ahead of his trip today. Clare Baldwin has represented Labour on Thurrock council since 2011, this month she appeared in court charged with making dishonest representations so as to obtain housing and council tax benefit, allegedly dishonestly claiming more than £2,640. Labour have suspended Baldwin while she contests the charge, though Guido is told she still sits in the Labour group. Let’s hope no one brings this up this afternoon…

UKIP Candidate ‘Stabbed By Labour Supporters’

UKIP council candidate Bobby Anwar is claiming he has been stabbed by “avid Labour supporters” in Blackburn. He alleges:

“Stabbed in face by so called Muslim neighbors (sic) who are avid Labour supporters, whose teenage kids batter my 6-10yr olds, call my kids and wife kafirs (infidels)and n****rs (mum is African descent and converted).

All go to MMA cage fighting clubs which the teenagers were using on my son.

Without me using any profanity or threw any punches, the responsible adult/uncle ran back in the house to get a sharp metal weapon and came running from behind me and broke my cheekbone and broken eye socket. Extensive surgery this week needed including permanent metal plating.”

A police inquiry is ongoing but the victim is adamant that his UKIP connections were a motivating factor. If these reports are correct, those who have demonised UKIP share responsibility for this…

Balls Charged for Hit and RunCoppers Bring Charges After Story Changes

The Shadow Chancellor blogs this afternoon:

“I’d been turning our car round in a tight spot in the narrow private drive beside the Labour rooms in Morley where I park all the time. Another car was parked close by and I was aware the two bumpers touched. But I had no idea any damage had been done until the police got in touch a week later.

As soon as I was aware any damage had been done I immediately took full responsibility for any damage caused. I’ve been in touch with the owner to apologise for the inconvenience and to  pay for the repair to the marks on the parked car’s bodywork.

The police have to do their job. Once I’d confirmed I knew the bumpers had touched, their standard approach is to proceed to charge as they expect people to stop and check.

I fully understand and accept that, so of course I will be accepting the charge. While I had no knowledge at the time that any damage had occured, I accept their view that I should have checked. Getting points on my licence will be a blow – but that’s the way it works.”

Busted…

Balls has changed his tune slightly. When the police began their investigation he claimed “As soon as I was made aware of what had happened, I took full responsibility for any damage caused.” Yet now he admits he knew the collision had happened at the time…

UPDATE:

Crystal Methodist Pleads Guilty

Rev Flowers has pleaded guilty to possession of cocaine, methyl amphetamine and ketamine at Leeds Magistrates Court. He has been fined £525. Or 6 Gs as he would call it.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Max Clifford Jailed for 8 Years

max-clifford-prison-vanMax leaves prison in his new chauffeur driven transport.

He says it’s eight, but we all know it’s really four…[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Constance Briscoe Jailed for 16 Months

A big day for high profile sentences. Constance Briscoe gets 16 months for lying to the cops investigating Huhne. Clifford up next…[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Constance Briscoe Guilty

She has been found guilty at the Old Bailey of lying to police investigating Huhne. Developing…[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Max Clifford Guilty

Guilty of eight counts, not guilty of two, jury split on one. He will be sentenced on Friday.

FLASHBACK:

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Clutching Straw Denies Banana Drama

Jack Straw motoring down the M6 in his Jag while eating a banana. People have been prosecuted for the same, though Straw insists to the Sun that:

“Traffic was incredibly slow. We were either going slowly or we had stopped completely.

[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Today at the Hacking Trial

Everything you need to know, summarised in 6 seconds…[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +

Sexminster Exposed


A Channel 4 News investigation finds that one in three people working in the sleazy booze-fuelled world of Westminster have experienced some form of sexual harassment at the hands of pervy MPs. One in five had witnessed some other poor young staffer being sexually harassed and over half said they had first or second-hand experience of hands-on politicians.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



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Michael Gove to the Commons on Trident:

“The unilateralists opposite complaining today are in the position of eunuchs complaining about the cost of Viagra.”

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