$100 Billion Climate Fund for Corrupt Dictatorships

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December’s Paris Agreement heralded a massive $100 billion per year climate fund for third world nations, paid for in part out of the public purse. The fund nobly aims to help “particularly vulnerable countries, including Least Developed Countries, Small Island Developing States and African States.” So, who is after the cash?

States requesting financial aid include ruthless dictatorships such as Angola and Sudan, who want a whopping $12.88 billion. Sure every penny of that will be truthfully accounted for…

Robert Mugabe’s Zimbabwe is also applying for the climate cash. The state run Zimbabwean Herald yesterday bemoaned that $100 billion is nowhere near enough, and that Zimbabwe alone needs $10 billion. Would pay for a few Learjets… 

Cheap Oil Derails Paris Climate Summit

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These are dark, dark days indeed for those profiting from green rackets. Guido wrote about how Government cuts to renewables funding were imperiling the subsidy reliant industry in the UK. The rapidly sliding oil price might just derail the Paris Climate Summit’s key aim to reduce emissions by scaling back reliance on fossil fuels. Such plans look unlikely to come to fruition in an era of super cheap oil…

The price of Brent crude has now fallen to a 12 year low below $30 a barrel as a result of sanctions being lifted on Iran, adding to an already present glut in oil production from OPEC members and US shale drillers. In such a climate consumers might be expected to increase consumption, with even figures from the climate lobby admitting such. Richard Howard, the environment and energy wonk at Policy Exchange, concedes:

“All else being equal, economic theory would suggest that the falling price of oil and gas would lead to an increase in consumption of oil and gas, with people driving their cars further, and heating their homes more. This could increase, or slow down the fall, in greenhouse gas emissions”.

To add insult to injury such a low oil price will only further encourage Government’s to withdraw subsidies from renewable energy, an industry wholly dependent on them. Perhaps the only hope for the climate lobby is that the price of oil will bounce back, otherwise known as the Alex Salmond school of thought. Unfortunately for them, it looks like we could be in for a prolonged period of cheap oil. So it’s really not looking good for the anti-fossil fuels, pro-renewables crowd then…

Corbyn Bro’s Rival Climate Conference With Two UKIP MEPs

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Jeremy Corbyn has touched down at the Paris Climate Summit in Le Bourget to take part in a debate this evening. But what of Jezza’s big brother Piers? The notorious climate-sceptic has been speaking at the Paris Climate Challenge, billed as the “alternative climate conference” for climate sceptics, “challenging the ‘groupthink’ of COP21”:

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He’s speaking alongside two UKIP MEPs…

Paris Climate Summit’s Comedy Blunder

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The building hosting the Paris climate summit has been adorned with the UN logo. Unfortunately for the climate bods, it’s the mirror image of US network Comedy Central’s hallmark. Who said climate scientists don’t have a sense of humour?

No doubt there will be an aide getting an earful for the gaffe. Guido suggests they take a lie down on some of the Google style sofas provided in the press area…

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Best of Day One at Paris Climate Summit

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Proceedings got off to a shaky start at the Paris Climate Summit yesterday when protesters desecrated a memorial to terror victims, even going as far as throwing memorial candles at police. That really got on Guido’s wick…

Such deranged antics were small beer compared with the genuine wrong ‘uns who turned up today. Robert Mugabe kicked things off with an anti-capitalist rant expressing his “dismay” at the “miserly” developed countries that burden the developing world without “cleaning up the mess they themselves have created”. That put the iPhone-wielding, Starbucks-slurping protesters to shame…

That’s the same Mugabe whose agricultural reforms led to hyperinflation of 250 million percent. Please, tell us more about your plan for the environment…

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Then came Bolivia’s Evo Morales, who readers will remember has spoken recently of the need to eradicate the “capitalist system of death”:

“Mother Earth is getting close to the end and the capitalist system is partly responsible for that. Capitalism has fostered and introduced and driven forward over the past 200 years the most savage and destructive formula against our species….Today we have a unique and historic responsibility with Mother Earth. Let us express our concern with the dramatic effects of climate change that threaten Pachamama”

Pachamama is is a fertility goddess that embodies Mother Earth, long revered in Inca mythology and by the indigenous people of the Andes. Nice to see the summit give a platform to rational and scientific arguments…

Eco Loon: Paris Attacks Intended To “Scupper” Climate Summit

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The editor of the environmental magazine The Ecologist has suggested that the Paris attack was intended to disrupt the upcoming climate summit. Oliver Tickell claims that disrupting the climate talks was a key motivation of ISIS:

So, assuming – as seems probable at this stage – that the Paris outrage was carried out by or for ISIS, was it in any way motivated by a desire to scupper a strong climate agreement at COP21? And so maintain high demand for oil long into the future, together with a high oil price?

Let’s just say that it could have been a factor, one of several, in the choice of target and of their timing. And of course ISIS was not necessarily acting entirely on its own. While not alleging direct collusion between ISIS and other oil producing nations and companies, it’s not hard to see a coincidence of interests.

Tickell is no stranger to crackpot conspiracy theories however. During his short tenure as editor he has already allowed an article to be published endorsing the conspiracy theory that South Africa was behind the Lockerbie bombings. Is he looking for a job with Jezza?

Crack Open A Bottle: Global Warming Good for Champagne

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Readers will be well aware that the French establishment is going to great lengths to make sure that the upcoming Paris Climate Summit is a resounding success. Cars are being banned, climate-sceptic weatherman are being sacked, and tinpot Bolivian socialists are being cosied up to with reckless abandon. It is in this climate that the champagne industry has rather sheepishly revealed that, actually, global warming has been terrific for the production of bubbly.

Pierre-Emmanuel Tattinger, director of the eponymous champagne house, had this to say about the effect of climate change on his business:

“The impact of global warming in the Champagne region is that for the last two decades we have had hardly any major frosts. We have had much larger harvests and we have had largely excellent vintages for the last 20 years. So in the Champagne region, it’s positive. Even though I think globally climate change is a top priority, as far as I’m concerned global warming is the Third World War”

Guido can understand why he closed his remarks by warning about the impending climate apocalypse. It’s a wise idea to keep Mumm in the current political climate in France…

Why has climate change been so good for bubbly? Well the Champagne region in north-eastern France has seen a 1.2 degrees centigrade increase in temperature over the past 30 years, which has handily served to decrease frost damage, thus allowing for bigger harvests. It has also added 1% to the level of alcohol and reduced it’s acidity. Yes dear reader you did read that correctly: global warming is not only giving us more champagne, it’s also making it stronger and tastier.

Even the climate nuts have conceded that climate change is helping champagne producers. Just so everyone is Cristal clear on this: global warming is good news for bubbly.

Bolivia’s Batsh*t Paris Climate Proposal

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Gaia has been reading through the climate proposals submitted by countries attending the fast approaching Paris Climate Summit, so you don’t have to. Best of the bunch is this offering from Bolivia, which argues:

“to find a lasting solution to the climate crisis we must destroy capitalism… a system of death… leading humanity towards a horizon of destruction”

The report goes on to demand climate reparations, including a twist of which Jeremy Corbyn would be proud:

“Allocate the resources of the military machinery of the imperial powers and the war-mongers to finance the activities of the peoples against climate change.”

To think critics have suggested the Paris Summit is suffering from a crisis of credibility…

Bolivian leader Evo Morales was in Paris on Monday to meet François Hollande:

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If you look closely you can actually see him patting down François for “imperial war-monger” cash…

Sexy Socialist Mayor Wants To Ban Driving

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Anne Hidalgo, Paris’s Socialist Mayor, has won a battle with the French government to restrict driving during periods of particularly heavy pollution. Following a spike in pollution on Monday, alternate driving days for cars with odd and even number registration plates have been introduced for when air quality falls below a certain level. The move has been pushed through in the run-up to the Paris Climate Summit in December, with officials clearly anxious to quell any obstacles to the event running smoothly. However Guido’s not so sure that the French, known for their notoriously blasé attitude to transport regulation, will pay the blindest bit of notice to Ms. Hidalgo’s imperative. Are the police supposed to check the numberplate of every single car?

Hidalgo is known for her hard line stance towards the use of cars in the capital, even banning them from the city’s streets for a day earlier this year, and has previously stated that she aims to make the Seine so clean that by 2024 Parisians can bathe in it. So cars will be gone, but at least they can swim to work…

Climate Sceptic French Weather Reporter Sacked

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France’s most popular weatherman Philippe Verdier has confirmed in a video that he has been sacked, having been suspended in mid-October for criticising top climate scientists in his new book, Climate Investigation. Verdier, who used to work for state-owned France 2, used his book to claim that publicly-funded climate change scientists have been “manipulated” and “politicized”, and that the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has published intentionally misleading data.

The video below shows Verdier reading the letter, with the caption stating: ‘Philippe Verdier, journalist, weatherman. Fired by France Television one month before COP 21 [The Paris Climate Change Summit]’.

Verdier has previously commented on how he believes he was suspended because the government wanted to hush up any criticism of climate change in the run-up to the summit:

“Making these revelations in the book, which I absolutely have the right to do, can pose problems for my employer given that the government (which funds France 2) is organising COP. In fact as soon as you a slightly different discourse on this subject, you are branded a climate sceptic.”

Guido can understand why they wouldn’t want anything to ruin the lovely bash they’ve got planned

Paris Climate Summit Blows €151 Million on Luxury Accommodation And Limos

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The 2015 United Nations Climate Change Conference, better known as COP 21, is being held in Paris this year.  40,000 delegates are expected to arrive from around the world for the conference in early December, with the French Government estimating the bill to come in at a cool €187 million. Out of that budget €151 million will be spent on transport and renting and furnishing the conference venue, namely the swanky Paris-Le Bourget Airport, a take-off point for the city’s luxury private jets and location of the Paris Air Show. What a perfect location for a climate conference…

Our Gallic readers however will be happy to hear that the French taxpayer won’t have to foot all the bill for such extravagance, with 20% of the funding recently secured from the private sector. That only leaves the taxpayer with a bill of €149,600,000. Absolute bargain…

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