Andy Wigmore Joins the Tories

Arron Banks’ sidekick Andy Wigmore appears to have finally succeeded in his bid to join the Tories after the pair’s attempts were repeatedly rebuffed by CCHQ. By hook or by crook, the self-proclaimed Brexit ‘Bad Boy’ is undeniably now a card-carrying member of the Tories:

Looks like CCHQ’s net can’t hold the Blue Wave…

UPDATE: Party Chairman Brandon Lewis has told LBC’s Iain Dale that the party Board “decided that neither Andy Wigmore nor Arron Banks would be members of the party.” He explained that they were refused for “very publicly and openly” trying to “bring down the leadership of the Conservative Party.” When Guido breaks the news to him Wigmore retorts to Guido “So is Boris!”

“Send the Lot Back” Kipper Re-Joins Tories

Guido hears that Victoria Ayling, who stood as one of UKIP’s top candidates in 2015, the 2016 Sleaford by-election and sat on UKIP’s NEC, has re-joined the Tories after quitting the party by personally telling David Cameron at the 2013 Conservative Party Spring Forum.

Ayling, known for such hits as “I just want to send the lot back, but I can’t say that” and “What happens when renewable energy runs out?”, has re-joined the Tories under her maiden name Victoria Brooks. Her mother claimed that Ayling joined the National Front in 1977 and attended meetings above a pub in Croydon.  Meanwhile well-liked moderate former UKIP MEP and one-time Tory councillor Steven Woolfe is still being refused membership.

Guido understands she has obtained a pass and intends to attend Conservative Party Conference in Birmingham at the end of this month. Maybe she’s turned over a new leaf after attending one of Brandon’s re-education courses

Tory Mayoral Runners & Riders

Shaun Bailey

Elected to the London Assembly two years ago, Bailey is the favourite in the contest, 3/1 to win against Khan, and seen as CCHQ’s preferred candidate. Co-founded a youth charity and can sometimes be found back-flipping across City Hall. Born in North Kensington, to parents who came to Britain from Jamaica. Firm favourite to win…

Endorsed by: Greg Hands, Zac Goldsmith, David Evennett, Chris Philp, Nick Hurd, Michael Gove, Conservative Friends of Israel, Evening Standard.

Joy Morrissey

American. Ealing Councillor. Former Centre for Social Justice wonk. Stood for Ealing Central and Acton in 2017. Once rode a man like a pantomime horse in a comedy ‘bonk fest‘. Fan of free markets and individual responsibility. Lower profile…

Endorsed by: Justine Greening, Vicky Ford, Andrea Leadsom, Mark Field, Priti Patel, Iain Duncan Smith, Andrew Rosindell, Bernard Jenkin, Guy Opperman, Stephen Hammond, Nicky Morgan.

Andrew Boff

Sound as a pound. A member of the London Assembly since 2008, Boff regularly takes Sadiq Khan to task in Mayor’s Question Time. He is a tax cutting, weed legalising, tube automating, spending slashing, true blue “liberal and Conservative”. Despite strong support from young socially liberal Tories, he is the perennial runner-up, having fought for the Tory London Mayoral nomination in 2000, 2004, 2008, and 2016. Deserves a seat in Parliament…

Endorsed by: Theresa Villiers, Bob Neill, Penny Mordaunt, think tankers galore.

Registered members of the Conservative Party in London have been emailed ballots and have until 5pm on Wednesday 26th September to vote…

Woolfe Rejected By CCHQ

CCHQ has rejected Steven Woolfe’s application to join the Conservative Party. Prior to joining UKIP in 2010, Woolfe had served as a Tory councillor in North Wales.

Woolfe is well liked in Tory circles, Guido suspects members will not take kindly to this decision, especially after CCHQ welcomed the defection of UKIP MEP Amjad Bashir with open arms in 2015. The Tories have fewer members than the SNP, can they really afford to be turning former members away like this?

Guido understands that Woolfe’s association with Arron Banks’ ‘Blue Wave’ movement was CCHQ’s main sticking point with his application. The phrase “Conservative Grassroots Mutiny” in their promotional material did not go down well…

UPDATE: A Conservative spokesman has confirmed: “Steven Woolfe’s application for membership of the Conservative Party has not been accepted.”

UPDATE: A frustrated Steven Woolfe tells Guido that he is “bemused” by the situation, particularly given the Tories’ efforts in the past to win back moderate UKIP supporters. He is still waiting to hear back from CCHQ as to why he has been rejected. Woolfe remains one of the best-connected eurosceptic British MEPs in Brussels – does it make sense for the Tories to be spurning his offer of support?

May Planning “Campaign 2022” Conference Speech

The agenda for the final day of Tory Conference this year will raise a few hackles and probably heckles. May’s keynote speech has optimistically been listed under the heading “Campaign 2022”:

Of course, May has to declare her intention to stay in the job for the long haul to avoid being becoming a lame duck, she will be hard-pressed to find anyone in Westminster or the wider membership who seriously thinks she will be contesting the 2022 General Election. That being said the agenda doesn’t specify precisely who the Prime Minister will be on October 3rd

Steven Woolfe MEP Re-Joins the Tories

Former almost UKIP leadership candidate Steven Woolfe MEP has applied to join the Tories. After they let Amjad Bashir defect in 2015, it would be very odd to refuse Woolfe membership…

He has become President of the ‘Blue Wave‘ movement of Brexit supporters joining Theresa May’s party. Woolfe is one of the more sensible ex-kippers, who left that party in 2016 after an infamous altercation, to sit in the EU Parliament as an independent. It will be interesting to see how welcoming CCHQ are to the former Tory councillor for Colwyn Bay….

Everything is Going to Be Alright

Across the political spectrum there seems to be a sense of pessimism. Left-wingers think the world is going to hell in a golf-cart because of Trump, centrists think the Labour Party is doomed because of Corbyn, or worse still because Corbyn might win. Centre-rightists are pessimistic because they fear Brexit will go very badly and the Conservative Party will be punished accordingly. Right-wingers fear May will mangle Brexit so badly Britain might as well stay in the EU. They are all worrying unnecessarily. Everything is going to be alright.

In this age of fake news we exist in filter bubbles of our own making. Politically we are in a mass and social media created hyper-reality which ratchets reality to extremes. Algorithms reinforce hysterical reporting. Even supposedly evidence-based data journalists cherry pick data to make their point. Science reporting is bent towards uncontested axioms which are neither true nor in the spirit of scientific discovery. Nobody believes anything reported with conviction. This is a rational response to our prevailing false hyper-reality.

Nothing is as bad as people make out. Trump isn’t about to start a nuclear war, a race war or bring about a society as depicted in the Handmaid’s Tale. The US constitution was well designed by the founding fathers, it will keep this President, as it has others, in check. So will the noisy messy circus that is American democracy keep the show on the road. The US economy is hiring blue-collar Democrat voters, pushing wages up and the middle classes are spending their tax cuts. That is something the left should really fear.

Centre-right Tory MPs should relax, expectations are being pushed so low that when the roof doesn’t cave in next April there will be a relief rally in Tory fortunes. Diabetics will not be dying in the streets, planes will still be flying, supermarkets will still be abundant in imported produce. Economic apocalypse will not happen. This will remove the Brexit uncertainty discount at the polls for Tories. Right-wing Brexiteers will be able to breathe easily that Britain is once again the mistress of her own destiny. With a new leader in place the Tories will be in a position to shape an optimistic narrative delivering a majority government.

Centrists are going to have a more difficult decade. The Labour Party is now a hostile environment for them. Centrists will have the consolation that their greatest fear – a majority Corbyn government – will not be realised. The Tories will benefit from a new leader and the DUP-approved boundary changes going through. This will remove the 40 seat anomaly that tilts general election outcomes unfairly towards the Labour Party.

The 2020s will see Britain basking in the growth promoting sunlight of global free trade. Fiscally the nation will finally be benefiting from a balanced budget, with lower taxes and the dynamism that comes with a super-charged globalised economy. The Conservatives will benefit from a split opposition that keeps them in government for another decade… Happy holidays!

Boris Speech Full Text


As our hearts go out to Las Vegas today we are reminded once again of the attack that took place here only a few months ago, on innocent and music-loving young people. And if there is a message to our American friends it is this: that they will come through it and they will come back from it stronger.

Because this city has shown that nothing and no one can bow the indomitable spirit of the people of Manchester, which in recent years has reinvented itself as the great thrumming engine of the northern powerhouse.

With its vast potential to generate jobs in finance, in academia, in journalism and the arts – and that’s just the ones held by George Osborne Continue reading

Activate Logo Rejected Over Swastika Resemblance

As members of the now infamous Tory WhatsApp group joked about “gassing chavs”, discussion turned to what the new ‘Tory Momentum’ group should be called. At the time the name “Future Focus” was considered, with one young member even creating a logo. The idea was quickly dropped when other members pointed out it bore resemblance to a swastika. They went with ‘Activate’ instead, alas they didn’t get rid of the sentiment as well as the logo…

Jacob Rees-Mogg Invites Moggmentum Tattoo Man for Tea at Commons

Jacob Rees-Mogg today pledged to meet the young man who had “Moggmentum” tattooed on his chest and take him for tea at the House of Commons. Giving his blessing to 24-year-old tattooee Ross Atkinson, the North East Somerset MP said he was “enormously honoured and flattered… it’s a huge compliment, very flattering”. The Mogg has spoken to Ross on the radio twice today; first as the lead item on BBC Radio Sheffield’s breakfast programme and later on TalkRadio with Paul Ross. Rees-Mogg said:

“I just hope he doesn’t become a socialist when he gets older and might have to change it… It’s a great honour a young man should be so interested in politics, so keen about Conservative principles that he wants to wear it on himself.”

Ross spoke to Guido on Monday just moments after he had the tattoo. As the ink dried, he said:

“I understand that a lot of working class people actually share beliefs with Jacob and I reckon he could be the one to push into Labour heartlands.”

Today Ross revealed to Guido that he has fixed a date to meet his hero in Westminster in October. Moggmentum forever

RIP Buster

Tory MP Andrew Rosindell’s dog Buster – well-known and much loved around Westminster – sadly passed on to the great kennel in the sky yesterday. A source who was close to Buster eulogises:

“Buster fiercely campaigned for his dad election after election and became a integral part of the Romford Market scene. Often seen wearing his patriotic waistcoats, Buster was loved by the late Margaret Thatcher and even had a ban on dogs lifted at City Hall to accommodate him. A supporter of Brexit, Buster passed away at 15 years old. He will be missed deeply.”

RIP Buster…

Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake

Kemi Badenoch’s maiden speech was Guido’s favourite of the 2017 intake by far…

Politician Keeps Promise: Hollobone Consults Kippers

Hero Tory backbencher Philip Hollobone – Parliament’s most frugal MP and all-round man of the people – kept an election campaign promise by meeting senior members of his local UKIP branch recently. UKIP agreed not to field a candidate against Hollobone in Kettering; he met Kipper grandees from the party’s local branch to discuss the progress of Brexit and his support for outlawing face coverings in public, reducing overseas aid and opposition to HS2. UKIP’s Jonathan Bullock said:

“Philip gave a detailed briefing as to how he saw the Brexit negotiations progressing and also confirmed his support on various other issues upon which UKIP has campaigned. We saw eye to eye.  Whilst there is still a wide gulf between UKIP and the Conservative Government on many policies, we are delighted that our local MP is in tune with us and the electorate on so many issues.

Hollobone is a politician who keeps his word. Does he know UKIP are looking for a new leader…

Tory SpAd Voted For Corbyn

It seems the Corbynista contagion permeated the minds of young Tory voters too. Remarkably, and to the bafflement of her former colleagues, it emerges that Stephen Crabb’s ex SpAd Emily Poole voted for Jeremy Corbyn. In a post on her blog, Emily, who worked in both Cameron governments, mourned the demise of Dave’s “cuddly Conservatism” and backed Jez:

“In response to the inevitable question, “but how can you vote Labour though? Jeremy Corbyn is useless/a communist/a terrorist sympathiser”: I’m not saying I think Jeremy Corbyn would make a good Prime Minister. But guess what? The situation we’re currently in isn’t very good either. The NHS is in crisis, our national security is already at risk, first-time buyers haven’t got a hope in hell of saving enough money to own a property and good school places are harder to come by than a Jane Austen £5 note. Do I care whether Jeremy Corbyn would or wouldn’t press the red button? Well why don’t we all just work on the assumption that we’re pretty screwed if we get to that point anyway?”

Red Tory…

Davis Tries Not to Laugh at Adam Boulton’s Hammond Gag

DD trying hard to stifle a laugh…

10 DUP Policies the Tories Should Adopt

The DUP manifesto is rather better in places than that Conservative manifesto:

The DUP pledged:

  1. To reduce the rate of Corporation Tax to at least 12.5%;
  2. To freeze then cut or abolish the TV licence and reform the BBC;
  3. To cut the VAT rate for tourism businesses;
  4. To introduce a Trade Accelerator Plan including an enhanced range of initiatives to help support both new and existing exporters to explore new markets;
  5. To abolish Air Passenger Duty;
  6. To establish low tax, deregulated Freeports in economically underdeveloped parts of the UK
  7. To reduce the number of Government Departments and reduce the number of Special Advisors;
  8. To introduce a Civil Service Voluntary Exit Scheme yielding annual savings of approximately £100 million;
  9. To create new trade, investment and innovation hubs in key global markets;
  10. To introduce alternative models of public sector service delivery such as increasing the use of social enterprises.

Guido for one welcomes the eleventh-hour entry of the DUP, our new political overlords…

Karen Bradley Doesn’t Know Armed Police Numbers

The Culture Minister Karen Bradley seemed determined not to stray off her brief. Given the trend for numbers questions you’d think she might have prepared…

Hunt on Care Cap Last Week: “We’re Dropping It”

Theresa May is insisting that “nothing has changed” and that the social care cap is not a departure from the manifesto. Really? On Thursday Jeremy Hunt explicitly said on the Today programme that the cap was being dropped:

“If you have that cap that was his proposal [Andrew Dilnot]… and we couldn’t be being clearer because… not only are we dropping it, but we’re dropping it ahead of a General Election and we’re being completely explicit in our manifesto that we’re dropping it, and we’re dropping it because we’ve looked again at this proposal and we don’t think it’s fair.”

Four days later and the cap is back. Looks like a change to Guido…

Over the weekend Number 10 sent out Damian Green and David Gauke to forcefully defend the policy – Green point blank insisted there would be no u-turn:

Dacre and the Daily Mail also went out on a limb to defend it, as did Leo McKinstey in the Express. Now they’ve all been made to look like chumps by Downing Street…

Crick Roasts “Weak and Wobbly” May: “The Lady Is For Turning”

Watch for the Theresa death stare…

Fearless MP & Hero Activist Tackle Violent Thug While Canvassing

A Conservative candidate and a young activist are being hailed as heroes after they fearlessly tackled a brick-wielding thug who attacked their vehicle on the campaign trail. Romford candidate Andrew Rosindell and team member Chris Muspratt were campaigning on Monday when they heard a loud commotion.

[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Change UK MP Joan Ryan tells Change UK’s South West ‘rally’:

“Can everyone look at their hands please?”

*everyone holds out their hands in front them*

“That’s it, it’s there, the future is in your hands.”

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