Starmer and his team touched down in Samoa this morning after flying for a ridiculous 27 hours (not including refuelling stops). Accompanied by the usual gaggle of lobby journalists looking forward to putting out all the same lines about the PM, just from a different location…

Broadcasters and print hacks paid about £4,750 to fly with Keir, or an eye-watering £10,000 if they were lucky enough to score business class. What do they get for their cash?

• Thunder and showers disrupting the official itinerary.
• A short CHOGM event being hijacked by campaigners demanding the UK pay reparations for slavery…while Starmer tries to talk about trade instead.
• Official snubs from Commonwealth leaders, including Modi and Ramaphosa who are at Putin’s BRICS summit in Russia. Hilariously even Trudeau didn’t bother to come, sending his high commissioner to London in his place. The Canadian PM did however send doughnuts when the plane stopped for fuel in Winnipeg, which were promptly eaten by the lobby, a big news moment…

Lobby hacks who stayed home are feeling smug as more interesting news ploughs on in dry London. One says: “You literally couldn’t have paid me to go on this one.” And they’ve got to fly all the way back…