Ab Fab’s Patsy and Edina Speak on Brexit

Jennifer Saunders told Channel 5 “Unless the Champagne supply drys up, I don’t think they’d care.” Guido wholeheartedly agrees…

Fizz All Gone from Cam’s Champagne

cameron champagne

Selling £90 bottles of champagne signed by the PM used to be easy money for Tory fundraisers. Is it a sign of the times that local associations have cut the price of an autographed bottle in half to a bargain £45? Everything must go…

Crack Open A Bottle: Global Warming Good for Champagne

cork

Readers will be well aware that the French establishment is going to great lengths to make sure that the upcoming Paris Climate Summit is a resounding success. Cars are being banned, climate-sceptic weatherman are being sacked, and tinpot Bolivian socialists are being cosied up to with reckless abandon. It is in this climate that the champagne industry has rather sheepishly revealed that, actually, global warming has been terrific for the production of bubbly.

Pierre-Emmanuel Tattinger, director of the eponymous champagne house, had this to say about the effect of climate change on his business:

“The impact of global warming in the Champagne region is that for the last two decades we have had hardly any major frosts. We have had much larger harvests and we have had largely excellent vintages for the last 20 years. So in the Champagne region, it’s positive. Even though I think globally climate change is a top priority, as far as I’m concerned global warming is the Third World War”

Guido can understand why he closed his remarks by warning about the impending climate apocalypse. It’s a wise idea to keep Mumm in the current political climate in France…

Why has climate change been so good for bubbly? Well the Champagne region in north-eastern France has seen a 1.2 degrees centigrade increase in temperature over the past 30 years, which has handily served to decrease frost damage, thus allowing for bigger harvests. It has also added 1% to the level of alcohol and reduced it’s acidity. Yes dear reader you did read that correctly: global warming is not only giving us more champagne, it’s also making it stronger and tastier.

Even the climate nuts have conceded that climate change is helping champagne producers. Just so everyone is Cristal clear on this: global warming is good news for bubbly.



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Corbynista media cheerleader Aaron Bastani says his friend Clive Lewis’s “b*tch” comment was:

“beneath any parliamentarian”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Lewis: “I Apologise Unreservedly” Lewis: “I Apologise Unreservedly”
Clive Lewis: “Get On Your Knees B****” Clive Lewis: “Get On Your Knees B****”
Heads Up: Parliament Tells MPs It’s Too Windy To Inspect Falling Masonry Heads Up: Parliament Tells MPs It’s Too Windy To Inspect Falling Masonry
Corbyn Stands By Disgraced Lavery Corbyn Stands By Disgraced Lavery
Mandelson Lies About Single Market Mandelson Lies About Single Market
Merkel: “Absolutely No Doubt” There Will Be A Deal Merkel: “Absolutely No Doubt” There Will Be A Deal
Sweden Drawing Up Brexit Trade Plans Sweden Drawing Up Brexit Trade Plans
Car Windscreen Smashed Inside Parliament Car Windscreen Smashed Inside Parliament
Russia Today Presenter Fibs With First Word on #BBCDP Russia Today Presenter Fibs With First Word on #BBCDP
Shameless Poetry Shameless Poetry
John Healey: Then and Now John Healey: Then and Now
Linesman MP Has Attended 96% of Votes, Better Record Than SNP MPs Linesman MP Has Attended 96% of Votes, Better Record Than SNP MPs
On The Red Carpet Last Night On The Red Carpet Last Night
Red Sky at Night, Jez’s Delight Red Sky at Night, Jez’s Delight
Arms Folded in Unity Arms Folded in Unity
Cliffe Quits Radicals After 12 Hours Cliffe Quits Radicals After 12 Hours
Davis: Brake Leaked His Own Letter Davis: Brake Leaked His Own Letter
Brake Misleads Bercow About Guido Story Brake Misleads Bercow About Guido Story
Labour Charge Electric Campaign Vehicle in Parliament Labour Charge Electric Campaign Vehicle in Parliament
Mr Rayner’s Alternative to Badger Cull Mr Rayner’s Alternative to Badger Cull