Guido has been wondering for a while why Susan Hall hasn’t hired a campaign manager. Now the answer’s clear – CCHQ is going to take over the operation. Tory campaigners have now caught the scent of blood and think if they put some weight behind Hall she has a good chance of winning in May. Despite a recent poll from the Evening Standard reaffirming Khan’s supremacy, Tories are optimistic. CCHQ internal polling has Hall at a one-point lead. Internal polling is infamous for its unreliability…
CCHQ’s focus right now is on sprucing up Hall’s attack line delivery. Winning in London will be a massive morale boost for the Tories – it never made sense to take an arm’s length approach to the campaign. Guido hears the Tories are finishing up arrangements for the takeover, which won’t be too difficult seeing as Hall’s already set up in the basement of the Matthew Parker Street HQ. Ramping up…
CCHQ’s much-touted “red wall loyalty” office up in Leeds is looking like it’s actually a white elephant. Guido hears its desks are barely populated. The new office was announced in October 2020 and opened by Oliver Dowden in March last year. The mixed-office building is equipped with a handsome dining area, spacious desks, and huge windows – a honeypot to lure Tory staff up from cramped Matthew Parker Street (with the help of a payout). It looks as though no one wanted to level up though as Guido hears the office only has around 20 regulars when the Tories are paying for a whole lot more real estate. There were meant to be 50 permanent staff with plenty more desks to be used “depending on demand”…
Based on current per-square-foot prices for the building, 100 desks would set you back somewhere in the ballpark of £350,000 per annum. Even worse, CCHQ is rumoured to have it on a long corporate lease, likely meaning it can’t be downsized. No one said levelling up would be cheap…
Interns at the Conservative party have been made to take part in “privilege walks” administered by the charity Patchwork Foundation, to shed light on the career advantages that white middle class apparently have, according to The Telegraph. The so-called diversity test forced interns between 2021 and 2022 to line up in a row whilst statements were read to them, if answered yes, they had to take a step forward. Those who walked the longest distance were deemed the “most privileged”…
CCHQ were swift to make known their distance from the oppression obstacle course, with a Conservative spokesman saying: “Patchwork Foundation development days are run alongside, but are separate to, the CCHQ internship.” Luckily the Tories are miles ahead in the polls so there’s plenty of time and energy to waste on this…
Guido can reveal Tamworth’s losing Tory candidate Andy Cooper was rushed through a truncated selection procedure which local Tories claim failed to pick up their concerns about his electability. Other contenders – who are bitter at the process – were put through deep checks the week before selection over the weekend of 9th September. Cooper, by contrast, spent a hurried half-day in London before being placed on the 3-strong central office recommendation list. It is not clear whether psychometric testing, relatively new and much-touted for vetting, was used and the process failed to pick up Cooper’s choice words for benefit claimants in a Facebook post from 2020. Candidates are always complaining about selection processes but the recent run of defeats does seem problematic…
Senior Tamworth Tories say it is “just too early to say” whether they will stick with Cooper or if pre-Pincher candidate Eddie Hughes MP will try for the seat at the general election. He is reportedly eyeing up other seats like Solihull. Incoming boundary changes will boost numbers of Tory voters so it will be a desirable seat despite last night’s result…
The approval of Mike Wood MP as the candidate for the new seat of Kingswinford & South Staffordshire has gone down like the proverbial bucket of cold sick, after Greg Hands has been accused of intervening to stitch-up the process. Mike had a clear first stab at the re-jigged constituency, comprised of his own seat and Gavin Williamson’s current home, after Gavin opted for the new Stone, Great Wyrley and Penkridge seat instead. Local Tories weren’t going to let this happen so easily.
The contest to approve Mike’s re-adoption was incredibly close fought and tensions boiled over after one activist was found to have cast their vote despite having an invalid membership. According to one local source, this lead to an “enormous” number of local complaints and they had right to be aggrieved. Due to the close nature of the contest, Guido hears that one vote could have been “meaningful”…
Following these developments, the South Staffordshire Area Chairman wrote to activists, explaining that he had sent a report to CCHQ detailing potential next steps. This was swiftly ignored following “a recommendation” from the Party Chairman and Mike Wood was successfully adopted. Unsurprisingly, local activists, who still hold animosity towards CCHQ after controversy surrounding nearby MP Theo Clarke’s re-selection, aren’t happy. One activist said Greg had to make sure “his cronies got what they wanted” as another involved in the selection lamented that “all I want to see is democracy”. CCHQ invariably tries to tip the scales in favour of incumbents. Nevertheless it all seems a bit heavy handed from Greg.
Co-conspirators can read the full letter from the Staffordshire Area Chairman below:
Today marked the day when the Sadiq’s toxic ULEZ expansion finally got the green light, and although Labour’s London Mayor enjoyed his victory lap on the morning media round, his party leader was nowhere to be seen. Unsurprisingly, CCHQ has been more than happy to lead the manhunt…
After the success of their anti-ULEZ Uxbridge campaigning, the Conservatives have deployed targeted advertising looking for the missing Labour leader. The party paid for missing person-style facebook ads attacking his position and asking why Starmer “won’t speak up” against “his friend” Sadiq Khan and the ULEZ expansion. Thankfully, the Tories included a useful description to help identify the missing man. His “Distinguishing feature: Flip Flops”.
