CCHQ Culling Chairmen

Theresa May’s reshuffle of 2018 not only gave us Chris Grayling as party chairman for a memorable 27 seconds, it introduced us to eight new CCHQ vice chairs, up from the previous four appointees – an attempt by May to inspire loyalty from younger MPs and improve the look of the Tory party. Their loyalty faded pretty quickly…

Boris kept the positions in his first reshuffle, though two of the deputy chairs have since been appointed to Ministerial posts – namely Paul Scully and Ranil Jayawardena. Lee Rowley was drafted in as Scully’s replacement, however Guido now hears the Tories are considering plans to cut the number, down to one deputy chair and fewer vice chairs, with the vision of “moving forward as part of a smaller CCHQ team“. Each deputy chair gets a £10,000 salary boost paid for by Tory members – so that will save the Tory’s treasurers £80,000…

mdi-timer 18 May 2020 @ 16:28 18 May 2020 @ 16:28 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Testing Opened Up to Symptomatic and All Workers

Though the party-sent email looked at first glance like a more exclusive offer. To prevent the media / opposition asking every dayat the briefing how many are on the waiting list, there isn’t one. When a set number have applied the online application facility shuts for the day. It will of course mean Hancock hits the 100,000 tests target…

mdi-timer 29 April 2020 @ 12:26 29 Apr 2020 @ 12:26 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Tories Begin Organising October Party Conference

Yesterday afternoon The Critic intercepted an interesting email from Tory high command, alerting previous Tory Conference fringe event organisers to the launch of this year’s booking process; and implying CCHQ expect the country to have gone a long way towards returning to business as usual by the start of October.

Getting thousands of drunk, tired, sweaty Tories together just in time for a second peak…

mdi-timer 23 April 2020 @ 10:14 23 Apr 2020 @ 10:14 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Four Way Twitter Melee Over Undisclosed Party Affiliations

After a week of the media continually failing to highlight guest experts’ party affiliations, this morning started off the same, with Sky News failing to inform viewers that Faiza Shaheen was the Labour Party’s Chingford candidate a few months ago. For the first time during the outbreak, an exasperated CCHQ vented their frustration on Twitter, asking Sky why there was no mention of her political CV.

Adam Boulton waded in with his usual tweeted rebuttal, shortly before Sky News ‘corrected‘ their editorial decision

It wasn’t long before the two guests themselves waded in, with Faiza arguing Iain Dale’s previous Tory-affiliations weren’t mentioned, and Dale parrying with the fact he stepped away from political activism 10 years ago and has voted for other parties since.

As ever, we’ll leave it up to Guido readers to decide who won this one…

mdi-timer 20 April 2020 @ 12:03 20 Apr 2020 @ 12:03 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
CCHQ Youth Officer Sacked after Teen Strip Club Trip

The Tories hoped their rebrand and relaunch of the Young Conservatives wing in 2018 would put an end to decades of embarrassing scandal and debauchery from young members. Conservatives should know some traditions are hard to change…

CCHQ’s full-time ‘Youth Officer’, Ryan Stoneman, has now been given the sack and is serving his notice period after taking young Tories – at least one whom was still a teenager – to a strip club after a phone canvassing event two weeks ago. Stoneman – who is a councillor in Sutton – has since deleted his social media accounts.

Ryan went to the Platinum Lace Strip Club with two young members of the ‘Tories for Climate Action’ group and got “absolutely f****ed”, with one attendee not getting home until 07:30 the next morning. Guido hears the ‘Tories for Climate Action’ debit card was put to use at the club...

Guido understands the strip club trip wasn’t the sole reason for Stoneman’s firing; he had a track record of poor performance. Readers may remember Stoneman from the Tory leadership election after breaking CCHQ rules by actively supporting Cleverly’s leadership – including via the official Young Conservatives Twitter account. His career was already hanging by a thread, looks like the stripper’s G-string snapped it …
CCHQ are yet to respond to our queries

UPDATE: Tories for Climate Action inform Guido the offending member has now been kicked out and an investigation into the incident established.

mdi-timer 27 February 2020 @ 14:01 27 Feb 2020 @ 14:01 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
CCHQ’s ‘Got Brexit Done’ Merchandise Delayed Due to International Supply Chain Issues

The Tories have had to email disappointed supporters informing them the ‘Get Brexit Done’ Pin Badge they ordered is going to be delayed due to “international supply chain issues causing production to be postponed”. Not the best start to ‘Global Britain’…

The merchandise was released to celebrate Boris’s win in December and included ‘I Got Brexit Done’ mugs and tea towels which are on track to be sent out on time. Purchasers of the limited edition ‘I Got Brexit Done’ lapel pins, however, have now been informed they won’t receive it until late February.

The Conservative Party shop wrote, “We understand the disappointment the delay will cause”. As Theresa May can attest only too well…

mdi-timer 10 February 2020 @ 13:55 10 Feb 2020 @ 13:55 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
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