Recess may have been in full swing and Westminster deserted by MPs, but that didn’t stop readers flocking to keep up to date with the most important stories of the day; namely to the stories that a couple chose to film a hard Brexit porno in front of Parliament, and ‘EU supergirl’ Madeleina Kay’s inter-railing holiday was being largely funded by a publicly randy remainer sugar daddy. Can’t imagine why these ones were so popular…
While the raunchy political couple may have been breaking public decency laws, John McDonnell’s imprisoning priorities were instead directed to his political opposition, when he boasted Labour would invent a law to put Tories in prison.
MediaGuido also got a strong outing in August, with Guido’s calling out of Sky and BBC bias proving popular. Sky News used a ‘focus group’ which was stuffed full of Remain activists, the BBC finally admitted a “lapse of editorial standards” over their absurd EU election graphics, and yet another Sky News correspondant went rogue in proffering they “hate the Tories”. One positive MediaGuido story however was announcing the poaching of our own Hugh Bennett by Jacob Rees-Mogg…
The funniest story of the month was undoubtedly Caroline Lucas being ‘cancelled’ for suggesting an all-white ‘government of national unity’ to cancel Brexit. There’s always someone woker than you…
July brought with it a new Prime Minister, and of course a very tough day for the punditocracy. Boris’ election was almost immediately followed by a brutal Cabinet re-shuffle with in total seventeen senior ministers either being fired or resigning. Night of the Blond Knives…
Bombastic first performance from the dispatch box as Prime Minister. Guido was the first to reveal that Isabel Oakeshott was suing The Guardian over a defamatory sexist smear against her. Soon afterwards the paper was forced to offer an expensive apology to the award-winning journalist.
The early signs were there (see above) that perhaps Jo Swinson was not a master strategist when she revealed that under no circumstances would she accept Brexit. “Bollocks to Voters” was her true slogan and they would later reply in kind…
New Green Party MEP Magid Magid discovered the sad true reality of Brussels.
Our headline “Met Police Slam Electoral Commission, Demolish Latest Loony Remoaner Lawsuit“ fails to convey the full contempt of the police for the fruitcakes that waged lawfare on Brexit. A theme that continued throughout the year…
With the Tory leadership contest underway, Guido was delighted to break out his seminal spreadsheet and track who Tory MPs were back for leader, along with all the twists and turns of a race to be PM; with the arguments about Raab’s refusal to rule out proroguing parliament (wonder how that idea would have worked out); Rory’s constant walking and bizarre Marr interview; and the leadership candidacy that never was: Sir Graham Brady. There were also debates which landed the BBC in hot water after Guido discovered their questioner Imam who asked whether “words have consequences” had a history of overtly Antisemitic social media posts. Always happy to help vet guests for them…
Away from the machinations of the Tory party, Parliament continued working to thwart Brexit, with 10 Tory rebels voting to hand power to Jeremy Corbyn (Guido named and shamed them in full). Guido also discovered that in 2003 Corbyn wrote an article saying he supported the policy of disarming during World War 2. Corbyn’s absurd writings weren’t the most offensive thing of the month, however, with Jo Brand musing whether she could throw battery acid over politicians she didn’t like. Farage declared she was inciting “violence and the police need to act”…
After three failed attempts, a record number of ministerial resignations and failure to reach agreement with Corbyn, Theresa May finally announced her resignation on the 24th, the events leading up to her sudden announcement were swift and exciting, with Andrea Leadsom’s resignation arguably being the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Despite her announcement, Farage had precious little to celebrate, with a spate of milkshake attacks meaning at one point he was trapped on the Brexit Party battle bus as he hid from dairy-laden protestors. The Brexit Party did get on the front foot during the month, with Guido readers loving Farage attacking Marr’s ridiculous line of questioning in the run-up to the Euro elections, and Richard Tice suing an SNP MEP for libel.
The fallout from the Brexit Party’s Euro election victory was clear to see when Tories finally pulled their collective finger out and ditched May days later, but the Change UK blame game after their disastrous showing was great to sit back and watch. Almost as entertaining as when ChUKker Gavin Esler was torn apart on Politics Live for calling Brexiteers “village idiots”…
After the Brexit turmoil of March, our attention instead turned to the environment with the appearance of both Greta Thunberg – whose mother, it transpired, was a Eurovision star – and the posho climate communists, Extinction Rebellion; headed by walking stereotype Robin Boardman-Pattinson who, after a life of luxury at his £18,000 a year education and Bristol university education, didn’t practise what he preached when jetting abroad for his skiing holidays. Unsurprisingly, Guido readers particularly enjoyed this clip of Boulton giving him a dressing down…
Brexit continued to lurch on in its ever more unsure and compromised form, with Theresa May announcing she would begin seeking a soft Brexit stitch-up with Corbyn and Bercow breaking Commons rules yet again to give more opportunities to remainer MPs to block or substantially soften Brexit – despite the amendments already having been voted on. He wasn’t the naughtiest character of the month, though, with Fiona Onasanya returning to court again after having voted to block Brexit whilst wearing an ankle tag…
As the presumed final Brexit deadline of the 29th March drew closer, the madness ramped up to, what were then, unprecedented levels. A petition to revoke Article 50 got six million signatures – many of which were repeat signatures or from foreign actors – and it wasn’t long before Guido unveiled the gruesome posts from the petition’s creator threatening to shoot May and how to buy “legal” guns. Remainers also launched a line of merchandise nobody was calling out for, including a ‘commemorative’ tea towel with dead Brexiteers on. This bust-up between Farage and Soubry is a good reminder of the anger between both sides, and was one of our most-watched clips of the month…
Despite not getting Brexit in March after 412 MPs voted to delay Brexit yet again, we did get a few laughs; not least from Dominic Frisby’s 17 million f**k offs, German comedian Henning Wehn on Question Time and a sidesplitting ruling from the court of appeal tearing apart every argument in lunatic remainer QC Jessica Simor’s case that May’s triggering of Article 50 was unlawful. We also got one of the best quotes of the year from an anonymous cabinet minister on Newsnight, who when asked what was going on with Brexit responded: “f*ck knows, I’m past caring”. Speaking for the nation at that point…
