PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Hannah Bardell (Livingston) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 5 July.

Q2 James Morris (Halesowen and Rowley Regis)

Q3 Alex Cunningham (Stockton North)

Q4 Nicky Morgan (Loughborough)

Q5 Paul Scully (Sutton and Cheam)

Q6 Bill Wiggin (North Herefordshire)

Q7 Mrs Sheryll Murray (South East Cornwall)

Q8 Jonathan Edwards (Carmarthen East and Dinefwr)

Q9 Matt Warman (Boston and Skegness)

Q10 Andrew C Bowie (West Aberdeenshire and Kincardine)

Q11 Alex Burghart (Brentwood and Ongar)

Q12 Mr Khalid Mahmood (Birmingham, Perry Barr)

Q13 Scott Mann (North Cornwall)

Q14 Helen Hayes (Dulwich and West Norwood)

Q15 Stephen Lloyd (Eastbourne)

Comments in the comments…

“Arlene Foster the Most Expensive Right-Winger Since Cristiano Ronaldo”

He plays more on the left these days…

Government Spokesman on S**t SpAds

Concerned by a no doubt crucial health issue, Lord Hunt of Kings Heath tabled this written question on May 18th:

“To ask Her Majesty’s Government what action they are taking to ensure that NICE guidance is followed in the use of faecal microbiota transplants in the treatment of recurrent Clostridium difficile.”
Yesterday he received an unexpected written answer from the government spokesman:
“The standards of conduct expected of all civil servants, including Special Advisers are set out in the relevant Codes of Conduct. These Codes make clear what Special Advisers can and cannot do in their roles.”
Bit harsh…

Bercow Cuts Ties

Our “modernising” Speaker has overturned convention and ruled that male MPs will no longer be required to wear ties in the Commons. Likewise, the compulsory tie rule has been scrapped for gentlemen of the press gallery. There is near mutiny among the few members of the Lobby with higher dress standards. At least one person will be happy:

The end times… this country really is going to the dogs…

UPDATE: Nigel Farage tells Guido:

“This just goes to show Bercow is a low-grade lightweight with no respect for our institutions or our history.”

PMQs Sketch: Back to School Edition

Someone even urinated on my office door“: the inaugural Prime Minister’s Questions of the new political age began on Sheryll Murray’s piss-stained Cornwall doorstep. And for the next 50 minutes, that is where it remained. A Maybot humbled, Jez a Prime Minister-in-waiting, the nation stirred to anger in the shadow of a looming tower: none of it was enough to lift up our once great Prime Minister’s Question Time from the cesspit of mediocrity it has become. Honourables and Right Honourables could not rescue parliamentary prime-time from the sewer. They delight too much to swim in it…

If he had managed to get any good A-levels, a man of Jeremy Corbyn’s intellectual stature could by now be an Emeritus Professor of Public Safety at a polytechnic university. Today he aped grey-haired Station Officer Steele from TV’s Fireman Sam. They’ve a lot in common: both elderly jokers better not deployed on the front line, the harder-working lower ranks desperate for the day they slip just a little too fast down the greasy pole. Jez hosed the House with technical details, details which could not be squeezed through the nozzle of Commons procedure into actual questions. It was all so much of the same: the long prefaces, the misplaced emphases, the plateau phase never quite arriving at climax. Finally, it came: “I think I can help the Prime Minister with this issue” – but Jez, aren’t you the Prime Minister? – “what the tragedy of Grenfell tower has exposed is the disastrous effects of austerity!

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New Tory MP Winks at PM

Did the new member for Aldershot Leo Docherty wink at Theresa May as he asked his first PMQ today? Smoothie…

May: Cladding Began Under Blair Government

After Corbyn blamed the Grenfell fire on austerity – and by implication the Tories – Theresa May claimed that the cladding of buildings happened under Labour during the Blair years. Never let the facts get in the way of an opportunity to rile things up, eh Jezza…

Tory MP Reveals Hard-Left Intimidation

Tory MP Sheryll Murray says that during the election campaign swastikas were carved into her posters, social media posts called for her to be stabbed and people urinated on her office door. Notable that Labour MPs heckled as Murray revealed the extent of hard-left intimidation… 

PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Oral Questions to the Prime Minister

Q1 Mrs Sheryll Murray (South East Cornwall) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 28 June.

Q2 Mr William Wragg (Hazel Grove)

Q3 Ian C. Lucas (Wrexham)

Q4 Kevin Brennan (Cardiff West)

Q5 Jo Stevens (Cardiff Central)

Q6 Ian Austin (Dudley North)

Q7 Gavin Newlands (Paisley and Renfrewshire North)

Q8 Marion Fellows (Motherwell and Wishaw)

Q9 Maria Caulfield (Lewes)

Q10 Paula Sherriff (Dewsbury)

Q11 Dr Rupa Huq (Ealing Central and Acton)

Q12 Richard Graham (Gloucester)

Q13 Charlie Elphicke (Dover)

Q14 Angela Smith (Penistone and Stocksbridge)

Q15 Mr Barry Sheerman (Huddersfield)

Comments in the comments…

Boris On Glarstonbury

Boris is bang on about Jez’s “Orphic spell“.

And he’s been pronouncing it GlAARstonbury for years:

The place has been full of poshos for decades…

Select Committee Chairmanship Runners and Riders

If it weren’t for the Russians (allegedly) MPs’ inboxes would be constantly pinging with emails from colleagues canvassing for support for select committee chairmanships. The hotly-contested elections take place in July, as ever Guido gives you your runners and riders…

The big bunfight is the Treasury select committee, where MPs are jostling to fill the not inconsiderable shoes of Andrew Tyrie. Jacob Rees-Mogg has sat on the committee for two years, is well-respected on the Tory benches and would be a popular appointment. Nicky Morgan is running on a thinly-veiled continuity Remain ticket, talking up her ability to provide “necessary scrutiny and challenge” to the Brexit negotiations. NiMo is the preferred candidate of Labour Remainers, which says it all. Also running are the experienced Leaver Richard Bacon, who already has the signatures he needs, and Stephen Hammond and John Penrose, both Remainers with experience in the City. Would be a shame if the Mogg didn’t get it.

There’s also a tasty battle brewing for the Foreign Affairs committee chairmanship. Incumbent Crispin Blunt – who has faced embarrassment over the committee’s reports on Saudi Arabia and Libya – is being challenged by John Baron, who thinks Britain should work with Assad, Russia and Iran. Blunt is hardly sound and the committee is already stuffed with wrong uns. Though MPs will be concerned about some of Baron’s views too.

There is a vacancy as BEIS committee chair after Iain Wright stepped down from parliament. It’s between Rachel Reeves, Liam Byrne and Ian Lucas. Louise Ellman has quit as Transport committee chair, Geraint Davies is running to replace her. Quite a few battles bubbling away behind the scenes…

Hundreds of Fire Doors Missing From Camden Blocks

Will Corbyn and McDonnell want to politicise this? Hundreds of fire doors were missing from tower blocks in Labour-run Camden following recent inspections. You can bet if it were a Tory-run council Labour MPs and the Corbynista online army would be a lot more vocal…

Nigel Dodds Threatens to Publish Labour’s 2010 and 2015 Correspondence With DUP

Well this would be a lot of fun at the expense of hypocritical Labour MPs this afternoon. Go on Nigel, you know you want to…

Corbyn Refuses to Bow to the Queen

As everyone around him nods their head to acknowledge Her Majesty, Corbyn stubbornly refuses to bow. He then winks to a colleague. Emboldened, Jezza not selling out on his republican views…

UPDATE: Team Jez say Corbyn observed the correct protocol and that he was not expected to bow. They reckon Theresa May got the protocol wrong…

UPDATE II: Guido and Damian McBride have had a look through the archives at previous State Openings of Parliament to check the precedent. Neither Dave nor Jez bowed last year, though in 2013 Cameron and Ed Miliband did bow their heads to acknowledge the Queen. In 2009 Gordon Brown bowed his head too, so the previous Tory and last two Labour leaders all felt bowing was appropriate at some point. Guido reckons it is fair to say bowing is very much optional and not mandatory, and Corbyn – as expected with his long-held republican beliefs – decided against…

Dennis Skinner’s Ascot-Themed Queen’s Speech Joke

Not Skinner’s worst joke:

“Get your skates on, first race is half past two.”

The Queen is rushing off to Ascot once her duties in parliament are over…

“Self-Serving Parasite” Bercow Breaks Promise to MPs

With crushing inevitability, John Bercow has told Sky News he is going to break his promise to stand down as Speaker after nine years and instead go on until 2022. Bercow says laughably that “we’re in a very different situation” and that because Theresa May changed her mind about calling an election he is within his rights to change his too. A pitiful excuse even by his standards.

Guido has dug out Bercow’s manifesto circulated to MPs when he ran for Speaker in 2009. Bercow told colleagues that “as a matter of principle” he believed Speakers should not outstay their welcome, and promised that

“if you do me the honour of electing me, I will serve for no longer than two full Parliaments and, in any event, for no more than 9 years in total. I say this because any Speaker should be able to make a mark in that time”

He has gone back on his word, and it is going down very badly among MPs…

Scourge of Bercow James Duddridge tells Guido:

“He said he would only serve until the 22nd June 2018. He has broken his manifesto promise to to go at this date. He is a disgrace and should not be reelected as Speaker if he is returned as an MP. He is a self-serving parasite of the worst order.”

Karl McCartney adds:

“He does not command loyalty across the House, except from those who owe him, and has used up any goodwill any of my colleagues may have had for him in the past.”

And Andrew Bridgen tells Guido:

“Speaker Bercow has already ripped up every page of the rulebook on impartiality, and now he has ripped up his manifesto pledges.”

Another Tory candidate says:

“It is about time Parliament had a truly independent Speaker rather than anymore of this third rate third Labour supporting Speaker. He has brought the exalted position into disrepute with his personal life and opinionated pontifications and his fellow MPs do not like being taken for granted, or for fools.”

Four extra years of Bercow coming up if he wins reelection after June 8. No one will be more annoyed than Chris Bryant and Lindsay Hoyle…

Jeremy Corbyn’s Greatest Hits

For the final PMQs of this parliament Jeremy Corbyn graced us with a selection of his greatest hits, and of course no Best of Jez Compilation would be complete without him reading out bizarre letters from improbable sounding individuals. Today was the turn of Maureen and Sybil, who apparently aren’t characters in an Enid Blyton novel but are actually 100% non-fictional Labour supporters. Happily Maureen wanted to have a moan about her pension, and Sybil was writing to let Jeremy know that at the age of 88 she was now afraid to go into hospital. Isn’t every 88 year old?

But the coalition of victimhood wasn’t complete just yet. The Labour leader went on to wail about housing (worse now than it has ever been at any time since the Normans invaded and we lived in little mud huts); and of course his favourite myth:an education system that relies on begging letters from schools to maintain employment and books in the classroom”. All the while he painted a picture of a Britain full of downtrodden yet whiny little peasants being repeatedly stamped on by the capitalist jackboot.

That’s how Jeremy Corbyn views the world you see, as some sort of Ken Loach-esque struggle between the plucky oppressed proletariat and the evil capitalist monster let loose by an indifferent state. In this absurd alternate reality 88-year-olds called Sybil are marching hand in hand with non-binary inter-sectional lesbians and coal-stained miners straight out of the pit. Think the Pepsi advert, but more nauseating.

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Pickles PMQ That Pressured Farron to Sack Ward

Sir Eric uses his last PMQ to great effect…

May to Corbyn: “You Are Not Up to the Job”

Election PMQs: Who’s Asking the Questions?

Q1 Michael Fabricant (Lichfield) What recent assessment she has made of the (a) performance of the economy and (b) adequacy of provision of public services in the West Midlands; and if she will make a statement.

Q2 Richard Drax (South Dorset) If she will list her official engagements for Wednesday 26 April.[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Sky’s Faisal Islam on the mood in Parliament at the moment:

“It’s a totally febrile atmosphere here. It’s kind of like Game of Thrones meets House of Cards – and if you chuck in the Labour Party – Laurel and Hardy too.”

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