Parliament: Ayes to the Right, Nose to the Note

SW1 is astonished by The Sun’s story today that two drug dealers found in Parliament have been arrested by the Metropolitan Police in the 12 months to this March. Officers also arrested five people for possession of unspecified drugs and a further eight for cannabis possession. The shock is primarily over the figures being so low. This is not the Big Ben bong Boris was trying to crowdfund in 2019…

Who were the offenders? Guido doubts any MPs would have been cautioned without us discovering, despite the obvious punchlines about Gove or Boris’s own histories with drugs – though Keir Special K Starmer could only prove more interesting on the substance. Guido’s money’s on staffers and other parliamentary workers, though given Corbyn’s so close to his weed business son, Tommy, could it be the absolute boy’s been fully enjoying his final years in SW1? In other news, Keith Vaz is working hard to return to parliament…

mdi-timer 13 October 2021 @ 14:52 13 Oct 2021 @ 14:52 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Tommy Corbyn’s Glastonbury Confusion

Social media was dominated at the weekend with pro-Corbyn hashtags, as loyal supporters continue struggling to move on past the ‘denial’ stage of grieving. Tommy Corbyn got in on the action, quote tweeting a clip of the great leader’s infamous Glastonbury speech. According to Tommy, after the speech:

“one of the Glastonbury staff tapped me on the shoulder and said “you know he just got a bigger crowd than Rihanna””

Unfortunately for Tommy, Rihanna has never played Glastonbury. It seems young Tommy Corbyn might be wrongfacing his black female artists – perhaps with Beyoncé having performed at the stage in 2011 to a crowd of 175,000. Tommy, as the lady sang; “Ooh na na, what’s my name?” Beyoncé or Rihanna…

mdi-timer 23 November 2020 @ 10:42 23 Nov 2020 @ 10:42 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Jeremy Corbyn Met With Son ‘Weeks Ago’

Further to the less than socially distant picture of Jeremy Corbyn taken two days ago, Guido can now reveal that the former Labour leader told a Zoom call with supporters that he met with his son, who lives in a separate household, in his allotment “weeks ago”. More non-socially distant photos were taken…

Added to this, two days ago Corbyn admitted that two days ago he went on a bike ride with seven people, admitting “a lot of us, my sons, and so on”. This of course breaches the rule against groups, stipulating people from separate households can only meet in groups of two. Guido is beginning to wonder if Jeremy, like his brother Piers, thinks 5G not a virus is causing Covid…

mdi-timer 28 May 2020 @ 12:44 28 May 2020 @ 12:44 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Corbyn’s National Hemp Service Ships First Orders

Tommy Corbyn’s surprisingly capitalist venture, the National Hemp Service (NHS), has started shipping orders today – after a rocky start. Corbyn’s youngest son’s business reportedly went into liquidation last year owing £100,000 and leaving investors out of pocket. This morning, however, Corbyn’s “all-hemp shop” began to ship all manner of cannabis related products. After the year he’s had Guido can think of one shouty recently retired gentleman who might need the calming benefits of his son’s business…

mdi-timer 14 April 2020 @ 16:39 14 Apr 2020 @ 16:39 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
Seb Corbyn Self Isolates

Whilst some politicians’ family members, like Stanley Johnson, struggle to follow public health guidance, Corbyn’s son is going into self-isolation after succumbing to Coronavirus-like symptoms. Spending all day inside shouldn’t be too unpleasant in his £650,000 Airbnb apartment

Seb’s boss, John McDonnell, insists his team have been working from home since last Tuesday

Corbyn Jnr. also claims he has not seen his dad since contracting the virus, once again reiterates how the 70+ need to self-isolate to stay healthy – something Corbyn is refusing to do. Meanwhile Corbyn’s other son, Tommy, is using the Coronavirus pandemic to flog his ‘National Hemp Service’ business…

mdi-timer 23 March 2020 @ 13:00 23 Mar 2020 @ 13:00 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
NHS Goes Bust Under Corbyn

Tommy Corbyn’s National Hemp Service, his “NHS” business selling hemp, a strain of cannabis, from a cafe in Islington North has gone bust. According to the Daily Mail, Jeremy himself was giving Tommy the benefit of his, errr, business expertise for the cafe, “I go there quite often to observe the building work and give my opinion. It’s doing really well. I’ve advised him to not take anything out of the business for as long as he can handle not to. Small business is very important. Don’t take anything out, put your efforts in.” The firm is now in liquidation…

It is not clear why the firm was put into liquidation – losing investors £100,000.  One investor, Jeff Ditchfield, who has seen £30,000 from his pension fund go up in smoke reckons “it’s been put into liquidation because of mismanagement by the directors”, Tommy Corbyn and his girlfriend Chloe are the directors. Business conditions will only get worse under his father’s and Tory plans, corporation taxes are going to be jacked up. The Tory manifesto tomorrow will, according to reports, also hike up capital gains taxes on entrepreneurs when they sell their business. If Tommy had started up an online hemp service the Tories plan to pile on a digital sales tax as well. Are there any pro-business parties in this election?

mdi-timer 23 November 2019 @ 10:34 23 Nov 2019 @ 10:34 mdi-twitter mdi-facebook mdi-whatsapp mdi-telegram mdi-linkedin mdi-email mdi-comment View Comments
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