Friday Caption Contest (Commando Chappers Edition)

This morning James Chapman tweeted that “I don’t often wear pants”. This is evidenced by his revealing Kardashian-style Instagram account which has shocked the ladies (and gents) who were his former colleagues in the Lobby.

Click to Buy

Wittiest winning entry will receive a copy of Why Vote UKIP: The Essential Guide by Suzanne Evans. Entries only accepted in the comments…

UKIP Weaponise Manchester Attack: May Must Bear Responsibility

UKIP has fully weaponised the Manchester bombing to go after Theresa May, claiming that the PM must “bear some responsibility” for the attack. Suzanne Evans directly accused May of “allowing jihadists back into the country” – Salman Abedi recently returned from Libya – and argued that May and the EU had created the circumstances that allowed the attack to happen. She later reverse ferreted and said “the only people to blame are the terrorists”. 

Shouty crackers UKIP supporters screamed at journalists to “get back in your hole”, making Corbynistas look sane by comparison. Chief snowflake William Dartmouth did his best Barry Gardiner impression, whinging that Laura K and the BBC are “fake news“.

Lobby journalists were heard discussing “the worst ever UKIP launch”. The party’s few remaining supporters will love it but the event really was naff. Campaigning well back underway then…

Suzanne Evans: Sexist Snell “Isn’t Fit to Be An MP”

After Guido revealed the sexist tweets of Labour’s Stoke candidate Gareth Snell, Suzanne Evans says:

“Clearly this man isn’t fit to be an MP. How he passed Labour’s vetting procedures is beyond me – or didn’t they bother? It’s just the kind of thing I get day in day out on social media from the hard left – from both men and women – so maybe no one noticed. Maybe it’s what they expect. No, of course sexism isn’t the prerogative of the left, but the fact they claim to be the epitome of political correctness does rather then rankle when they let women down, as they so frequently do.”

Those Labour types who boarded the outrage bus about David Davis yesterday have gone oddly quiet…

UKIP Launch NHS Counter-Attack: Labour Like “Abusive Parent”

Paul Nuttall has taken on Labour’s main attack line in Stoke by vowing to oppose NHS privatisation and launching a stinging attack on Labour’s record. No cat out of the bag but a crowd-pleasing policy pitch nonetheless: anti-privatisation, anti-PFI, abolishing hospital car parking charges, migrants must pay in for 5 years before accessing non-urgent treatment and foreign aid cash diverted to the health budget. Some tasty lines from Suzanne Evans too: “If Nye Bevan were here today, he would be disgusted by what the Labour Party has done to the NHS” and “Labour is like an abusive parent spending their own children’s money”. The NHS is the key non-Brexit by-election issue in Stoke: the town is a 30 minute drive from Stafford hospital which is still recovering from a major care standards scandal. There is one problem with Labour’s claim that Nuttall would privatise the NHS: he wouldn’t…

Suzanne Evans Meeting With Top Tory MEP Tonight

The EyeSpy.MP Twitter account has chanced upon an intriguing meeting between Suzanne Evans and the Tories’ main man in Brussels Syed Kamall, which took place just hours after the UKIP leadership announcement. Guido is sure it was an entirely innocent chance encounter… 

Suzanne Loses £5,000 Deposit

suzanne

The UKIP leadership contest was costly for Suzanne Evans: she unfortunately fell just short of the 20% needed to keep her £5,000 deposit. Added to the £5,000 she owed UKIP this summer, that means the party will have asked her for ten grand in the last few months. That’s around a fifth of UKIP’s total donations this quarter…

Paul Nuttall Wins UKIP Leadership

nuttall

Paul Nuttall has won the UKIP leadership ballot and will replace Nigel Farage as UKIP leader, beating Suzanne Evans and John Rees-Evans.

Paul Nuttall – 9622 votes 62.6%
Suzanne Evans – 2973 votes 19.3%
John Rees-Evans–  2775 votes 18.1%

Rees-Evans almost managed to beat Suzanne Evans into third place despite being almost completely unknown before the contest. His social media presence was good and after walking out of a hustings he pledged to meet more UKIP members which may have helped his share of the vote. It seem that gay donkey rape comment didn’t hurt…

UPDATE: Peter Whittle is new Deputy Leader

UKIP’s First Hustings Report

img_0343

When Guido turned up at the UKIP leadership hustings last night his cover was nearly blown when Michael Crick ambushed him with a camera and asked if he was a kipper. Thankfully he managed to escape to take his seat.

Nuttall got the biggest cheer of the night and whilst almost every candidate said what the audience wanted to hear, Nuttall consistently delivered it the best. The former mayoral candidate Peter Whittle managed to praise Nuttall at every opportunity and the pair could be seen whispering like naughty children whilst the others were speaking.  Could Whittle pull out soon to endorse Nuttall?

Highlight of the night was Suzanne Evans saying she supported an English flag on every house in Emily Thornberry’s street and Peter Whittle reiterating his policy that every school should fly the Union Jack and have a picture of the Queen. Don’t forget the Victorian world map.

John Rees-Evans of gay donkey rape banter told the audience everything they didn’t want to hear including the drop in membership and the party’s empty coffers. But channelling Trump, he talked up his business success and promised to turn the party completely around by adding a comment section to the UKIP website allowing kippers to propose policy. Guido already seems to provide this.

Bottom line: Evans strong but Nuttall seems more in tune with ‘kippers. 

Paddy Thinks Suzanne’s Coming Second

lisa-duffy-paddy-oflyn

Guido was in the Marquis of Granby pub earlier this afternoon when he eavesdropped on a Suzanne Evans campaign meeting with Patrick O’Flynn and Lisa Duffy. Paddy, the most high profile Kipper backing Suzanne and her effective campaign manager, was overheard to say he thinks she will come second. Which is an honest and realistic viewpoint, even if it is one Team Suzanne wouldn’t want to admit to holding publicly. Loose-lips sink ships…

UPDATE: O’Flynn confirms it.

Suzanne Evans’ Campaign Raises £10 in 2 Days

Crowdfund Suzanne

Suzanne Evans is 16/1 at the bookies behind clear favourite Paul Nuttall (1/4 on) and Raheem Kassam (8/1). She is crowdfunding her campaign to raise the £5,000 deposit needed to actually run – so far she has raised 30% of what she needs to stay in the race. Despite offering a bottle of champagne signed by Nigel Farage if you pledge £1,000, it seems to have stalled a bit and has raised only £10 in the last two days

Rich’s Monday Morning View

ukip-grate

Farage Slams Evans For “Far Right” Attack

After Suzanne called Raheem “far right”, Nigel tells Peston: “I won’t be voting for her, not after that”. It’s war on UKIP Super Sunday…

Suzanne Announces Leadership Bid

As expected Suzanne Evans is in the race. She says Raheem Kassam is on the “far right” and says UKIP don’t need Arron Banks’ money. Punchy…

Nuttall set to declare later this morning…

Super Sunday: UKIP Leadership Declarations Coming

runners-riders-with-coburn2

Stand by for UKIP leadership contenders to make their minds up by Sunday. There are op-eds being lined up in the weekend papers, before Suzanne Evans and Paul Nuttall tour the Sunday morning politics programmes. Suzanne has been gathering signatures so she looks set to announce. All eyes on Nuttall, who some prominent Kippers think has plucked up the courage to run. Farage is also appearing on Peston. Raheem Kassam will be spending the weekend with the grassroots, trying to close the gap on the others who’ve done years on the rubber chicken circuit. We’ll have a better idea of who the next leader will be in 72 hours time…

UKIP Leadership State of Play

runners-riders-with-coburn2

With Steven Woolfe out and more candidates throwing their hats into the ring, Guido brings you an update on the UKIP leadership race:

Suzanne Evans: Quietly gathering signatures for her nomination. Her suspension has lapsed, she should be a member in good standing for 28 days (we think) and thus eligible. Bookies’ favourite. Will her closeness to the Farage-hating Carswell faction cost her with the grassroots?

Paul Nuttall: Other candidates fear Nuttall will win if he stands. This Telegraph article sounds like he wants it. Though there is no noticeable effort to gather signatures, he didn’t want to run last time and will be asking himself if it’s really worth it. Dithering or not bothering at all?

Raheem Kassam: Loudly gathering the necessary signatures. Has been campaigning hard online and thinks he has enough signatures to submit the paperwork on Sunday. If Nuttall doesn’t run there is a possibility Raheem could actually do it. His price to win is tighter than Trump’s!

Peter Whittle: UKIP’s London mayoral candidate is popular in the capital. While campaigning in Witney he appeared on one of Kassam’s campaign videos and even said his rival’s slogan: “Make UKIP Great Again”, though he tells Guido he is not on Team Raheem. Also quietly gathering signatures.

Bill Etheridge: Said he’d stand unless there was somebody he could back 100%. Accused of cheating by his fiancee. Has been round the rubber chicken circuit.

David Kurten: Lower profile, tried to be nominated as UKIP’s mayoral candidate with a false London address. When Breitbart asked him how he responded to allegations of racism in UKIP he replied: “UKIP isn’t racist, I love white people!”

Suzanne, Nuttall and Raheem are the frontrunners…

Suzanne Evans Bookies’ New Front Runner

ukiprunnersriders

Above shows the latest odds from the bookies courtesy of Betdata.io. In a situation that is very fluid the betting markets are probably the best place to gain insight into the candidate’s support – real money rather than spin. Woolfe pulling out is good for Kassam, his chances have since shot up, with a lot of his Faragist support going to Raheem. He’s running a characteristically energetic campaign online.

Suzanne Evans is the bookies’ favourite and the truth of that position is bolstered by YouGov polling:

yougov-ukip-poll

This situation will change rapidly. The YouGov polling above was done before Woolfe had quit and Kassam had declared. It is still unclear if Nuttall is definitely running. Suzanne has not exactly been campaigning hard having only had it confirmed yesterday by the UKIP NEC that she could be a candidate. Nominations close on Halloween, the full horror show finishes on November 28…

UKIP NEC Rules Kassam and Evans Can Run

ukip-runners-riders3

UKIP’s NEC has ditched the requirement for leadership candidates to have been members for two years, reducing the minimum membership period to 28 days. Candidates will now need 75 signatures to put their name forward, an increase of 25. What does this all mean? Raheem Kassam and Suzanne Evans WILL be eligible to stand…

The timetable is as follows:

“Applications will close at 12pm GMT (noon) on Monday October 31st 2016. Ballots will be sent to members shortly after 11th November and we will be announcing who will be our new Leader on Monday 28th November.”

Nuttall and Kassam are the frontrunners in online polls

UKIP Leader Runners & Riders

ukip-runners-riders3

After the surprise resignation of new UKIP leader Diane James, Guido brings you the latest runners and riders in UKIP’s leadership battle (odds from Betfair):

Paul Nuttall – Evens

Forever in Farage’s shadow, Nuttall has been deputy leader of UKIP for the last six years. His Liverpudlian roots could appeal to the working class north in a way that Evans or Kassam could only ever dream. The favourite after the fracas despite not yet confirming that he is standing…

Steven Woolfe – 2/1

The front runner in the last leadership contest until he forgot to submit his papers on time. Woolfe seemed to take the latest UKIP fight literally when he was in an alleged punch up with fellow MEP Mike Hookem. No longer the favourite post fracas and leaking of his talks with the Conservative Party.

Suzanne Evans – 4/1

Suzanne Evans was a  Conservative Party councillor who defected to UKIP in 2013.  Highly praised for writing UKIP’s 2015 manifesto, she was later suspended from the party for criticising a fellow candidate. Close to Carswell. Evans’s suspension has lapsed just in time for the latest contest.

Raheem Kassam – 15/1

Nigel Farage’s former chief of staff and current London editor of Breitbart, Kassam has already launched his online campaign to be leader with the slogan “Make UKIP great again” but his odds have been widening in the last few days. Most observers think he’s really running for the deputy-leader spot. The former Conservative Party activist is making a big thing of attacking “Blue Kippers”Like Nigel he’s very much a Marmite character.

Bill Etheridge – 27/1

MEP for the West Midlands and another former Conservative Party member. In the last leadership election he was accused of cheating by his fiancee when she found a half empty packet of Viagra in his car. Lad.

UKIP’s NEC is meeting this coming Monday to determine rules and timeframe…

UPDATE: Guido is told that Peter Whittle AM, UKIP’s former candidate for London mayor is also in the running (currently 27/1). A cultured fellow, if Guido’s memory serves him right he too is also a former Conservative Party member.

Suzanne Evans Reinstated to UKIP

su-evans

Guido hears Suzanne Evans’ suspension from UKIP has expired and she has been reinstated to the party. Of course they are all being very Ukippy about it – new leader Diane James publicly described Suzanne as a “woman scorned” and the party say she still owes them £5,000 after her failed attempt to sue them and they expect her to pay up. Welcome back…

UPDATE: On the £5,000 debt Suzanne says “They only sent the bill very recently” and “I’m still waiting for a proper fee note of work done as requested”.

Suzanne Evans Endorses Lisa Duffy For UKIP Leader

Suzanne Evans’ “major announcement” this morning was that she is endorsing councillor Lisa Duffy for UKIP leader. Who? Lisa describes herself as Patrick O’Flynn’s chief of staff and the “Chair of Ramsey Christmas Lights”.[…] Read the rest

+ READ MORE +



Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Corbynista media cheerleader Aaron Bastani says his friend Clive Lewis’s “b*tch” comment was:

“beneath any parliamentarian”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Lewis: “I Apologise Unreservedly” Lewis: “I Apologise Unreservedly”
Clive Lewis: “Get On Your Knees B****” Clive Lewis: “Get On Your Knees B****”
Heads Up: Parliament Tells MPs It’s Too Windy To Inspect Falling Masonry Heads Up: Parliament Tells MPs It’s Too Windy To Inspect Falling Masonry
Corbyn Stands By Disgraced Lavery Corbyn Stands By Disgraced Lavery
Mandelson Lies About Single Market Mandelson Lies About Single Market
Merkel: “Absolutely No Doubt” There Will Be A Deal Merkel: “Absolutely No Doubt” There Will Be A Deal
Sweden Drawing Up Brexit Trade Plans Sweden Drawing Up Brexit Trade Plans
Car Windscreen Smashed Inside Parliament Car Windscreen Smashed Inside Parliament
Russia Today Presenter Fibs With First Word on #BBCDP Russia Today Presenter Fibs With First Word on #BBCDP
Shameless Poetry Shameless Poetry
John Healey: Then and Now John Healey: Then and Now
Linesman MP Has Attended 96% of Votes, Better Record Than SNP MPs Linesman MP Has Attended 96% of Votes, Better Record Than SNP MPs
On The Red Carpet Last Night On The Red Carpet Last Night
Red Sky at Night, Jez’s Delight Red Sky at Night, Jez’s Delight
Arms Folded in Unity Arms Folded in Unity
Cliffe Quits Radicals After 12 Hours Cliffe Quits Radicals After 12 Hours
Davis: Brake Leaked His Own Letter Davis: Brake Leaked His Own Letter
Brake Misleads Bercow About Guido Story Brake Misleads Bercow About Guido Story
Labour Charge Electric Campaign Vehicle in Parliament Labour Charge Electric Campaign Vehicle in Parliament
Mr Rayner’s Alternative to Badger Cull Mr Rayner’s Alternative to Badger Cull