Theresa May triggered an extended bout of SNP outrage at PMQs after saying that they had no mandate to continue pursuing Scottish independence, leading to a particularly lengthy fit of “orders” from Bercow. Readers can judge for themselves whether Rebecca Pow’s question on washing machines was worth waiting for…

Always keen to see an MP at the end of a rope, Guido popped down to the annual parliamentary Tug of War last night (all proceeds to Macmillan Cancer Support). Ladies first – Macmillan employees versus Therese Coffey’s team of MPs. Kelly Tolhurst chose the losing side again…

Then the men’s Lords v Commons bout, which saw well-built Remainiacs Alec Shelbrooke (his sixth tug of war appearance) trialling the phrase “Remain” instead of “Stay” as a rallying cry to team-mates. Though in the end it was the Leave heavers who made the difference – hardman captain Mike Penning and Eurosceptic musclemen Nigel Adams and David Burrowes tugged their team to victory. Even the Daily Politics’ Giles Dilnot turning out as a ringer for the Lords couldn’t stop them. Highlight was Bercow calling Shelbrooke “a very big bloke” – Shelbers replied “it’s all relative…”