How Boris Became Boris

Speaking on Norwegian-Swedish talk show Skavlan, Rachel Johnson revealed the story of how Boris rebranded from Alexander whilst at Eton. Alex Johnson certainly wouldn’t have had the same recognisability… 

mdi-timer 11th November 2019 @ 5:45 pm 11th Nov 2019 @ 5:45 pm mdi-comment Comments
Change UK Leader Won’t Commit to Being Change UK Candidate at Next Election

Just two days after Change UK’s star MEP candidate Rachel Johnson called her party a “sinking ship”, interim leader Heidi Allen couldn’t even confirm that she would be standing for Change UK at the next election on Today. The only thing she’s sure about is that she’s not rejoining the Tories. Having spoken to a number of Cambridgeshire Conservatives, Guido can assure her the feeling is mutual…

“Will I stand again in South Cambridgeshire, my constituency, as Change UK, if you know, whatever format, let’s hope, you know, depends… the format might be slightly different but whatever the ‘Brand New World’ Party looks like at that point in the general election, absolutely I’m not going back to the Conservatives.”

Guido eagerly awaits Change UK’s next rebranding exercise as the ‘Brand New World’ Party. They can’t even get their dystopian name right…

mdi-timer 20th May 2019 @ 11:17 am 20th May 2019 @ 11:17 am mdi-comment Comments

Rachel Johnson on her prospects with ChUK…

“I’m the the rat that jumps on the sinking ship. And now I’m jumping on another sinking ship with Change UK. We hope it’s not sinking but it’s not riding the ocean waves in the way Chuka, Heidi and Anna thought it would.”

mdi-timer 18th May 2019 @ 10:32 am 18th May 2019 @ 10:32 am mdi-comment Comments
Chris Leslie Smears Brexit Party

Guido is going to generously assume that Chris Leslie has genuinely confused which party that bell-end Carl Benjamin is standing for, despite plenty of responses in his feed point out that he’s UKIP. At the time of going to pixel it has been up well over 12 hours uncorrected or deleted. Alternatively it could be he’s deliberately smearing the Brexit Party…

He’s not the only one confusing party names. Rachel Johnson who is standing in the South West got her own party’s name wrong. On BBC Radio 5 Live this morning Emma Barnett asked her “What’s the actual name of the party right now, because I don’t even know.” Rachel Johnson replied “The party is called Change UK. It was called The Independent Group.” In fact it is officially called “Change UK – The Independent Group”

mdi-timer 8th May 2019 @ 1:30 pm 8th May 2019 @ 1:30 pm mdi-comment Comments
Rachel Johnson: Change UK Name Is Good For Chuka

Rachel Johnson had a hard time defending the abysmal launch of Change UK- The Independent Group – Remain Alliance to Sky’s Adam Boulton this morning. When challenged on the confusing name of the fledgling party she responded by saying“I definitely picked a hole in that as well”. Great…

On the name Change UK:

“It’s good for Chuka, if you think about it because the short form is ChUK.”

On the poor polling performance:

“It’s like when you have a baby… you have a sort of birth plan and then it all changes in the delivery room, and so I think people understand that it’s a pop up party.”

On the fact that it is “actually the no-change party”:

“No, I think that’s quite cheap of you… I agree if you were being really mean you could say our only policy is the status quo ante”

Johnson then claimed that the ChUKas will be doing “non-tribal, evidence based politics” which comes as news to Guido after their fib filled three months

mdi-timer 29th April 2019 @ 10:34 am 29th Apr 2019 @ 10:34 am mdi-comment Comments
Rachel Johnson Gets Her Breasts Out Against Brexit

The naked Cambridge Professor’s protests against Brexit might not be doing much to actually stop Brexit, but they have inspired Rachel Johnson to strip off for a naked Brexit protest of her own on Sky’s The Pledge last night, much to the disbelief of her fellow presenters. Viewers will be thankful it wasn’t any of the other members of the Johnson family who got their kit off over Brexit…

mdi-timer 15th February 2019 @ 9:56 am 15th Feb 2019 @ 9:56 am mdi-comment Comments
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