The news of the Gallagher brothers getting back together for an Oasis British Isles Tour has united the country in ways that no party can. Guido thought to look back on the tune of Noel Gallagher’s political views that fans might be a bit of a Headshrinker for those Oasis lefty lovers…

• On Brexit: “There’s only f***ing one thing worse than a fool who voted for Brexit. That’s the rise of the c***s trying to get the vote overturned. You take part in a democratic f***ing process — if you don’t like the outcome, go to North Korea.” Definitely, Maybe going to wind up David Lammy with that one…
• On Trump: “I find Donald Trump f***ing hilarious. Purely from somebody speaking from across the Atlantic, it’s an amazing thing to watch.” Lefty revellers may not be so pleased with his view of politicians Half the World Away…
• On Corbyn: “F*** Jeremy Corbyn. He’s a Communist.” Take that look from off your face, Corbynistas…
• On the Labour Party in 2019: “I hate the Labour Party. I have f***ing got no time for them anymore.”
• On the Labour Party in 2021:“I f***ing hate the Labour Party, they’re a f***ing disgrace. They’ve betrayed the working classes, they’ve betrayed ordinary people and they’ve allowed this shower to run the country for however long they’ve f***ing run the country. The modern Labour Party is middle-class ****s who f***ing hate the working class, they hate them, it’s as simple as that.” Listen Up, Starmer…

Perhaps that’s why Starmer was so gauche about the brothers getting back together today. He may be looking back in anger…

Some Might Say Alastair Campbell’s blind hatred of the Tories is leading him further down the rabbit hole. His latest conspiracy, shared on Twitter this morning, is that Boris might’ve taken “narcotics” last night before his Sky News interview. Apparently this is a “reasonable” question “given his demeanour“. In other words after a draining high-pressure 48 hours, he looked run down, had a slightly runny nose, and sniffled a few times. Bang to rights, obviously…

With his tinfoil hat still tight around his skull, he’s also claiming “categorically that on no occasion in [Blair’s] ten years did I see any evidence whatever of drug taking in Number 10”:

in Number 10. Soft or hard. I wonder wherever everyone who has worked there since 2019 can hand on heart - or even better hand on Bible - say the same. DMs always open for those who believe standards in public life matter and the law of the land matters too 4/4

— ALASTAIR CAMPBELL (@campbellclaret) June 7, 2022

Definitely, Maybe… not. While Alastair might claim never to have seen “any evidence Whatever of drug taking” in Downing Street, there was at least one large shipment from Columbia delivered through the door. Back in 1997, Oasis songwriter Noel Gallagher rocked up to No.10 for cigarettes & alcohol with Tony Blair, later admitting on Russell Brand’s Radio 2 show to snorting cocaine in a toilet reserved for the Queen. “As I remember, it was quite nice. It had a velvet seat and everything”…

Don’t Believe the Truth if you don’t want to, Al. Just Stop Crying Your Heart Out.

UPDATE:  Nick Timothy’s response was perfect:

Still inventing stories about imaginary chemicals, I see. https://t.co/xf09yfRjye

— Nick Timothy (@NJ_Timothy) June 7, 2022