Inside Telegraph towers morale is at rock bottom. New Chief Executive Nick Hugh needs to cut costs: profits have collapsed below the sacred £50 million mark. The plan to cheer everyone up? Put up a mood board…

The top of the board reads: “On our best days, the Telegraph is…” Like a primary school exercise, staff then pin their answers up on little bits of paper. The instructions say: “Everything contributed to the board will contribute to our people values.” Vomit…

Hardened after a decade of cuts, the hacks have come up with some interesting answers. One kissed a piece of paper – leaving lipstick marks – along with the answer “sexual“. Others complete the sentence with: “published” and “tolerable”. Yet another: “the toilets work”. The board is a far cry from the occasional £500 bonuses former boss Jason Seiken used to dish out to keep scribblers happy. Amazing that the execs thought this would work…