Tory members up in Dudley North were in for a surprise this morning thanks to their MP Marco Longhi. In an email sent to all party members in the constituency earlier today, Longhi offered a long and convincing endorsement of Liz Truss for the leadership, along with a few generous anecdotes about his experience working alongside her. All well and good… except for a few crucial details:
“Dear all
I am writing because many of you will be eligible to vote in the ballot for the next Leader of the Conservatives, and thus the next Prime Minister.
I know both Rishi and Liz well. I was elected at the same time as Rishi and we shared adjacent offices as new MPs. I worked with both Liz and Rishi as a PPS. Since I became a Minister 3 years ago I have also worked extensively with both in Government. Given this, I thought you might find my views on the contest useful as you decide which way to vote…”
That’s certainly an impressive CV. The only problem is, erm, Longhi was elected in 2019, not 2015. He never shared adjacent offices with Rishi, and he’s definitely never been a PPS, let alone a Minister. In other words, someone’s botched the cut n’ paste job…
Guido’s been trying to work out whose homework was copied here, with one suggestion it could be Wendy Morton, though Guido understands she’s never had an adjacent office to Rishi. Co-conspirators can proffer guesses in the comments…
UPDATE: Guido’s ascertained the origin of Marco’s copied and pasted endorsement. It’s…………. Chris Philp
While the parliamentary authorities continue gathering evidence against professional nuisance Steve Bray, Marco Longhi has lost his patience and suggested a new solution for making Whitehall a No-Bray Zone: locking him up in the Tower of London…
Speaking in the Chamber yesterday afternoon alongside Bray’s arch nemesis Lee Anderson, Longhi said:
“I will not dignify his existence by tarnishing Hansard with his name, but there is a noisy man outside who dresses up as a clown and harasses and chases Members of Parliament and our staff from his little camp on the crossing island on Parliament Street. He is someone else who serves no public benefit whatsoever… This person needs to have his loudspeaker system confiscated and to be moved on. Personally, I would like to see him locked up in the Tower with a loudspeaker playing “Land of Hope and Glory” on repeat at maximum volume. The Met really should deal with him.”
Labour’s Lloyd Russell-Moyle intervened to offer swapping offices with Longhi so that “there will be no problem and we will not need to shut down free speech either”. For once, Guido’s almost inclined to agree with Russell-Moyle – putting up with Bray’s squawking is a sign we’re a tolerant democracy. Besides, there are other effective ways of dealing with him…
Today marks Holocaust Memorial Day, when politicians of all colours come together once again to remember the millions of people murdered under the Nazi regime. That said, not all politicians have come together…
Yesterday Guido reported on Emily Thornberry’s interesting PMQs defence, which involved praising Lenin and Castro as “great people”. According to an outraged Tory MP Marco Longhi, Thornberry was subsequently seen in the queue for the Commons Holocaust Memorial book showing off the social media posts and “laughing about” it with colleagues – something the MP for Dudley MP found “disgusting”. Thornberry is yet to post her subsequent solemn book signing photo…
Health-conscious Conservative MPs Marco Longhi and Lee Anderson don’t want to fanny about when it comes to their well-being. Marco, according to their road-trip video, made sure to receive a cervix exam before heading to conference this week. Always better to be safe than sorry…
It looks like Marco Longhi and Lee Anderson have decided it’s long past time Tory MPs capitalised on the TikTok comedy frontier…
A month ago Guido reported that new Red Wall Tory MP Marco Longhi offered ministers a novel suggestion in a Tory MPs WhatsApp chat. At the time, Guido may have hinted in a mocking tone that he thought the suggestion “air-brained“. Guido now sees how wrong he was…
Once blinded by cynicism, Guido now sees Longhi for the visionary he clearly is – as a group of medical, technology and aviation experts calling themselves Caircraft have taken up his suggestion that we could create thousands of intensive care beds in aeroplanes. Over the weekend The Times echoed the words of Longhi, who touted the “drop down oxygen masks” of grounded aircraft, saying “The jets have oxygen delivery systems, can be hermetically sealed and have laminar airflow systems similar to operating theatres to restrict the spread of germs.” Mea culpa!
Longhi’s idea, however may not be needed after all, as cases are staying well within NHS capacity. The Health Service Journal reported today, just nineteen patients so far were being treated at NHS Nightingale London over the weekend, out of its 4,000 bed capacity. Some good news in all of this…
