Luke Evans has become the first MP to deliver a Commons speech written entirely by Artificial Intelligence (AI). Speaking just before the House adjourned for Christmas, the Tory MP read the 324-word speech churned out by a new AI programme called ChatGPT, which has already gone viral for its ability to do your job for you. His only instruction was to “write a Churchillian speech on the state of the United Kingdom over the past 12 months”…

The result:

“Ladies and gentlemen,

Over the past 12 months, the United Kingdom has faced many challenges and has made many important decisions. In the face of these challenges, the country has remained steadfast in its commitment to its values and principles. One of the key achievements of the UK over the past year has been its success in managing the economy. Despite the ongoing challenges posed by the COVID-19 pandemic, the government has worked tirelessly to support businesses and protect jobs. This has included implementing a range of measures such as the furlough scheme, which has helped to keep millions of people in work.

The UK has also been successful in implementing its ambitious plan for Brexit. After years of negotiations, the country has finally left the European Union and has begun to forge a new path as an independent, global trading nation. This has not been without its challenges, but the UK has shown determination and resolve in securing a good deal for the country. In addition to these economic achievements, the UK has also made significant progress on a range of other issues. For example, the government has continued to invest in the NHS, providing it with the resources it needs to deliver high-quality care to patients. The country has also been committed to law and order, with a focus on ensuring that the justice system is fair and effective.

Of course, no country is perfect and there are always areas where improvements can be made. However, I believe that the UK has shown itself to be capable and resilient, and has demonstrated its commitment to its values and principles. As Winston Churchill once said, ‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.’ I believe that the UK has shown that courage over the past 12 months, and I have every confidence that it will continue to do so in the months and years ahead.”

Guido’s definitely heard worse. Labour MP Kevin Brennan later joked “let’s make sure we don’t allow ourselves to all become slaves to the algorithm.” It won’t be long before that algorithm can do the job better than most of the people sat on those green benches…