An entire year has passed since the Labour Party suspended John Bercow’s membership on an “administrative basis” pending an investigation into his bullying. On the same day, Bercow was banned from ever holding a Parliamentary pass after an independent panel upheld the findings of Kathryn Stone, having found him guilty of 21 out of 35 complaints over five years. The panel published a full 89-page review of their probe, revealing Bercow threw phones at staff, displayed “undermining behaviour”, and “lied extensively to try and avoid the damning reality of the truth”.

This report is, for some reason, not quite compelling enough for Labour. This morning, Guido asked for an update on the party’s own incredibly forensic probe: it’s still ongoing. Quite why they still haven’t reached a final decision when the “serial bully” can’t even set foot on the parliamentary estate is a mystery. Rupa Huq was let back in last week, despite her investigation lasting half the time…

Rest assured, when and if Labour finally reach a judgement, Guido will be the first to report it. As one loyal co-conspirator once said…

N.B.: You can still hire him as your dancing monkey over at Cameo, although cost of living pressures mean he’s now raised his price from a mere £82.50 to £94…

ICYMI: John Bercow: Former Speaker banned from parliament for life after bullying inquiry finds him guilty

Yesterday, Guido noted how, despite being found to be a serial liar and a bully, John Bercow has managed to remain broadly ‘uncancelled’ from his various positions and jobs. Despite him standing down as a Holland Park School trustee, his other roles seem intact.

One of his sources of income is as a keynote speaker for various agencies. While his website says he is represented for media and speaking engagements by JLA, he can also be booked via the London Speaker Bureau. Or can he?

Anyone trying to find his profile on either website via Google – or clicking through to JLA – will find his profile is now no longer available. Guido wondered whether Bercow’s serial bullying might have finally had some consequences, however calling up the London Speaker Bureau to see if he could book John, Guido was told (after some off-the-call consultations) that he is still available as a speaker and indeed has an engagement coming up. Are the agencies trying to pretend they care about bullying victims by hiding his profile, yet still allowing clients to book Bercow and continue making money?

Despite having his reputation decimated in SW1, the damning bullying investigation into John Bercow left him remarkably “un-cancelled” from his jobs and positions, from university professorships to his JLA speaking gig. Guido has a feeling a right-winger would have suffered far more had a report found them to be a serial liar and bully…

On the day the report was published, Tory MP Caroline Johnson suggested one course of action:

“There are a number of records of Mr Bercow’s period in office throughout the building, which must be seen on a potentially daily basis by his victims. In light of this report and the need to set history in context, is there any intention on the part of Mr Speaker or the Speaker’s Office to put explanatory plaques alongside them—for example, next to Mr Bercow’s portrait in Speaker’s House?”

In a similar vein, one co-conspirator spotted that, in the Peers’ staircase in parliament, there is a section of wall dedicated to former speakers’ coats of arms. One piece of masonry has already gilded, their fear being it had been done so in anticipation of Mr Bercow’s addition.

Concerned, and hoping to prevent an egregious waste of taxpayers’ money on such a memorial, Guido endeavoured to get clarification for the co-conspirator. He now learns that only those Speakers who have been given a peerage will be added to the wall, meaning Bercow doesn’t, and will never, qualify. As an extra precaution, the gold-painted space is well over five feet above the ground, meaning Bercow can’t sneak in and paint it himself…

Lindsay Hoyle denied that he was personally bullied by John Bercow during an LBC Marr interview last night, in the wake of last week’s damning report into his predecessor’s conduct. Hoyle denied reading the report in full, having only caught the headlines, though admitted their relationship had become “tense” at times. Sounds like he avoided having anything thrown at him…

Dawn Butler, who made history as the the first sitting MP on celebrity video-sharing app Cameo, has again broken new ground by becoming the first sitting MP to leave the platform after receiving what looks like no requests. Having joined the service in June to cash in on the trend set by Nigel Farage, Iain Dale, and John Bercow, Butler has now quietly deleted her profile, much to the disappointment of her 6-person ‘fan club’. Despite no videos being publicly available on the profile at the time of deletion, one person did leave her a five star review…

John Bercow, meanwhile, has found a lucrative new career on the platform. He appears to have realised corporations will happily fork out £2,250 to watch him scream until he’s red in the face. A service he used to provide to his own staff free of charge.

As Steerpike noticed on Friday, Bercow has now even become a viral sensation over in China, where his 92-second birthday message to fictitious ‘virtual idol’ Jiaran (an animated character) has picked up 3.9 million views. What might’ve been, Dawn…