Jolyon Given Another Chance to Waste Remainers’ Money

Twitter QC Jolyon Maugham is at it again, this time up in Scotland where he’s brought a yet another anti-Brexit case. This time the famously successful litigant has teamed up with Parliamentary luminaries Joanna Cherry and Jo Swinson to try to get judges to bar Boris from proroguing Parliament to allow Brexit to happen on October 31 if MPs attempt to block it again. Of course, as the Telegraph’s poll found last night, public opinion is on the side of Boris…

The judge at the initial hearing today has now agreed to grant the case a full hearing on September 6, at the Court of Session in Edinburgh. Giving Jolyon almost another four weeks to keep fleecing yet more money out of gullible Remainers…

SNP’s Joanna Cherry: “Shut the F**k Up C***”

The air turned bluer than usual in Parliament when Joanna Cherry questioned a Twitter executive about acceptable language on the platform this afternoon. Baroness Hamwee doesn’t bat an eyelid as the Member of Parliament for Edinburgh South West sitting next to her swears like a docker on the Clyde. Crivvens!

Bercow Stitches Up Parliamentary Votes Yet Again

John Bercow has cooked up yet another Speaker’s Stitch-Up Special with his selections for tonight’s second batch of indicative votes tonight. Bercow selected only four Remainer motions for MPs to vote on tonight. They are more or less identical to the ones which were all rejected just five days ago:

  • C (Clarke) – Customs Union – already rejected 272-264
  • D (Boles) – Common Market 2.0 – already rejected 283-188
  • E (Kyle) – Second referendum – already rejected 295-268
  • G (Cherry) – Revoke Article 50  already rejected 293-184

Bercow refused to allow any Brexiteer motions including John Baron’s Motion A on a unilateral right of exit from the backstop. Despite this previously securing a majority in the Commons in the form of the Brady Amendment.

To be fair Joanna Cherry’s is slightly different from the one rejected last time. It now also contains the bonkers provisions of launching a formal public inquiry to come up with a new kind of Brexit, which might then be put to the public in a second referendum to give the Government permission to re-trigger Article 50 and try to re-negotiate it with the EU months or even years down the line. If it sounds mad it’s because it is – it was literally written by Jolyon Maugham

Bercow is now busy tying himself in knots trying to explain why he refused to allow the Government to use a secondary motion to bring back a Meaningful Vote, but will allow Hilary Benn and Oliver Letwin’s secondary motion to bring back identical Indicative Votes twice in just four sitting days. Of all the institutions which have lost the public’s trust over their attempts to subvert Brexit, none have been damaged more than the Office of the Speaker…

Carole Uncovers Shocking New Arron BankSki Plot

Carole Cadwalladr has uncovered one of her most sensational conspiracies yet – this time Arron Banks and Andy Wigmore have apparently used a ski trip to the Italian Alps as cover for a secret plot to convince the Italian ‘fascist’ government to block an extension of Article 50. Pulitzer-level stuff…

Carole uses all of her award-winning investigative skills to piece together a number of crucial clues which reveal the inescapable truth. Incredibly, Wigmore turned his Twitter GPS-locator off for 24 hours after he got to Venice last week. A sure sign of guilty behaviour.

Even more shockingly, Banks and Wigmore decided to go skiing in Cortina, when Wigmore already owns a chalet in Wengen. The evidence is incontrovertible.

Meanwhile, Agent Farage has been busy implementing the other half of the top-secret plan – which is now “in plain sight” – by making speeches in the European Parliament calling for EU leaders to block any extension to Article 50. Thankfully serious political heavyweights like the SNP’s Justice Spokeswoman Joanna Cherry QC have ridden to the rescue to help foil the egregious plot. Phew!

By coincidence it was Banks’ insurance firm’s corporate ski jolly last week. Salvini must have been delighted to be invited along…

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Quote of the Day

Boris responds to Tusk…

“I don’t want a No Deal Brexit but I say to our EU friends if they don’t want No Deal they have got to get rid of the backstop from treaty. If Donald Tusk doesn’t want to go down in history as Mr No Deal Brexit then I hope this point will be borne in mind by him too.”

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