Murphy Rages Against the ‘Infernal Machine’

Jim Murphy is giving his valedictory speech at Policy Exchange this lunchtime.

He’s got some choice words for the Tories, and goes surprisingly easy on Miliband:

David Cameron seized the time and was out on the morning after the referendum to make an announcement about English Votes for English Laws. At 2am on referendum night I was in the BBC studio to be told by Michael Gove that the Prime Minster would unveil his plans that morning. Instead of travelling to Scotland to celebrate and thank Scotland he did the opposite.

His aim?

To create a grievance to engender an English nationalism.

He failed initially.

But then he succeeded beyond his wildest ambition.

The SNP seized on Camerons actions as proof of the bad faith of Westminster and used it to bind the Yes vote together.

The full force of this wasnt felt until the short campaign.

But an infernal machine had been created in which the threat of the SNP holding the balance of power at Westminster fuelled an English backlash which in turn added to some non-nationalist Scottish voters who last year voted No then voted for the SNP last month.

Of course, Labour’s wipeout was nothing to do with taking the heartland for granted for decades, completely miscalculating why people were voting SNP, poisoning the well themselves and letting Gordon Brown run the Scottish Labour Party for thirty years. Nope, still the evil Tor-ees.

Quote of the Day

Jim Murphy:

“Winning a crucial internal vote and then resigning. Don’t know where Blatter got that idea from…”

Top Brown Ally to Murphy: Get Oot

Dear Jim

I am writing to you to advise that I am, from this morning, standing down from the position as Labour’s spokesperson for Local Government and Community Empowerment in the Scottish Parliament.

I said yesterday at the meeting of Labour MSPs that I thought your speech on Friday stating that you would stay on and lead Labour into the 2016 election was a mistake, and that it would also be a mistake for the team you put in place, including your Chief of Staff, to remain in post.

As you know, I praised the level of hard work and dedication that you brought to the campaign over the last six months and I absolutely agree that the challenges facing Labour in Scotland will not be fixed solely by a change of leadership. However, we have a leader in the Scottish Parliament and much of the focus of the next year will be on the Scottish Parliament and the performance of the SNP government over the last 8 years in Scotland. I sincerely hold the view that you continuing as leader whilst not in the Scottish Parliament, and not in an elected position holding a democratic mandate, means you will become an unhelpful distraction from the real issues that Scottish Labour must focus on.

Over the coming weeks rank and file Labour Party members must have their say on the way forward for Labour in Scotland and I want to be part of that discussion. It is clear from the discussion yesterday that dissent in public from the leadership view is perceived as disloyalty, but I am convinced we need a fundamental change in direction and strategy and therefore cannot sign up to your leadership as one of your shadow team.

From an early age my memories are of my parents talking about politics and the need for working people to organise and fight for a better and fairer society and that is why I joined the Labour Party. It was suggested to me at the weekend that it would be disloyal to the Labour Party if I were to speak publicly on these issues. I have given that a lot of thought and consideration and I concluded that it would be disloyal and damaging to Labour were I not to speak out. I believe now, more than ever, that we in Scotland need a strong relevant Labour Party and we will not achieve this under your leadership therefore I have no choice but to speak out.

Yours sincerely

Alex Rowley MSP
Cowdenbeath Constituency

Seems John McTernan is in the sights as much as his boss…

Jim Murphy Reacts to Ipsos Mori Poll

An unfortuante juxtaposition as news of Labour’s impending doom in Scotland broke on Sky…

UPDATE:

Och! Jim Murphy in Jock C*ck Shock?

Jim Murphy reveals yet another dire Scottish Labour poll:

Put your deterrent away, Jim…

Murphy was playing in a penalty shootout to raise money for motor neurone disease sufferer Gordon Aikman. You can donate here.

Murphy Blows Labour’s “Fiscal Responsibility” Line

IMG_2285

Well that didn’t take long. The IFS verdict on Labour’s manifesto is in: “Literally we would not know what we were voting for if we were going to vote for Labour”. They aren’t the only ones who are confused…

Here is Jim Murphy blowing Miliband’s fiscal responsibility line out of the water this afternoon:

“Ed was really clear at the UK manifesto launch today. It’s only Labour that will end austerity.”

Which is literally the opposite of what Miliband actually said:

“it is a manifesto which shows Labour is not only the party of change but the party of responsibility too… A clear vow to protect our nation’s finances… The deficit will be cut every year… This commitment to fiscal responsibility is the foundation.”

Forcing Chuka to slap down Murphy on the Daily Politics:

“The leader of the Scottish Labour Party will not be in charge of the UK budget.”

It is almost as if in England Labour are telling voters they will make cuts and can be trusted to be responsible, but in Scotland they are vowing to end Tory austerity. As the IFS say, “Literally we would not know what we were voting for…”

Ruth Davidson Batters Jim Murphy in #ScotDebates

 

Jim Murphy was under the cosh during last night’s Scottish Leaders’ Debate, repeatedly mansplaining to Ruth Davidson and Nicola Sturgeon and coming fourth with the Sun’s Twitter worm. This is the moment the Scottish Tory leader pummelled her Labour counterpart on the economy:

RD: “There’s a massive difference between you and me. You crashed the economy and I’m trying to rebuild the economy. That’s the difference between you and me, Jim. You’ve run from your role in the referendum and I’m proud of my role in the referendum. That’s another difference between you and me, Jim.”

JM: “…The growth big growth in the last few years hasn’t been in industries, it’s been in foodbanks.”

RD: “The big growth in the last few years has been in jobs, you had higher unemployment…”

JM: “…There are people out there tonight sitting over their phones who have got zero hours contracts…”

RD: “And 68 of your MP colleagues employ people on zero hours contracts. Have you ever worked on a zero hour contract? Have you ever worked on one? I have.”

There was no snap poll, but Ruth was the resounding winner among the pundits…

Video via @liarpoliticians

Glue Labour, Glue Danger

Jim Murphy has had been forced to deny rumours he sniffed glue as a youth. After the Scottish Labour leader said he ‘couldn’t remember’ if he had tried it, his spokesman claimed he nae honked:

“Just to be clear, Mr Murphy has never taken drugs. The point he was making at the Glasgow University debate was that when he was growing up drugs weren’t as widespread and that the harmful thing for many people back then was glue sniffing. For the record that’s not something Mr Murphy has tried either.”

An allegation like that could really stick.

Jim Murphy Is Laughing At You

A bizarrely hypnotic ten minute video of Jim Murphy laughing:


Question is: Why did the cybernats make it?

Battered and Bruised: Murphy Slammed Over Irn Bru-Gate

These are the headlines taxpayer-funded Irn-Bru quaffer Jim Murphy is waking up to North of the border this morning. The Scottish Sun says he is “battered and Bruised” after a day of ridicule, the Daily Record accuses him of “drinking Irn-Bru on the taxpayer”, while the Herald dubs the expenses claim “Girders-gate”. The editorial in the Scottish Daily Mail is damning:

“It is clear Labour have an electoral mountain to climb but they would find it much easier if they stopped cutting their own ropes and sliding all the way to the bottom time and time again… The light at the end of the tunnel may be no more than a burglar’s torch. For embarrassingly, Mr Murphy’s Westminster expenses show he indented the taxpayer for the princely sum of £1.30 for two cans of Irn-Bru. And while his expenses claim is hardly as egregious as the duck houses and moats fellow members of the Commons – flipping houses for all they were worth to line their pockets with our money – awarded themselves not so long ago, it is damaging all the same. It is a gift to his political opponents, given how adroit they are on social media. Twitter immediately filled with images of people sporting cans of Irn-Bru while proudly declaring they had bought them with their own hard-earned money… This makes it all the more disappointing that he has been foolish enough to let a piffling claim for soft drinks become a stick with which his enemies can beat him.”

Pay it back, Jim…

McXlusive: Jim Murphy Claims For Irn-Bru on Expenses

Jim Murphy portrays himself as the Irn Bru street fighter, campaigning on crates with a bottle in his hand. A man of the people…

Now Guido can reveal that not only is Murphy so out of touch that he drinks his Bru from a glass, the Scottish Labour leader gets the taxpayer to pay for his supply on expenses. FoI revelations show Murphy has made two expenses claims for Irn Bru, amounting to £1.30.

This is certain to cause a Bru-haha north of the border…

Jim On The Run

Jim Murphy has pulled out of a public appearance today, after the McAshcroft poll pointed to a total rout for the party north of the border. Guido is told that Scottish Labour hope to ‘reschedule’ a stunt that would have their leader selling copies of the Big Issue for the day. Jim will have the opportunity to do so full time at this rate…

Meanwhile, here is the party’s mature response to utter Caledonian clusterf*ck. You would never have thought they’re a bunch of former NUS chumps:

Yeah, retreat to that comfort zone. That will solve everything.

McPangloss Makes It Official

John McTernan has never stopped spinning for Labour and today he makes it official, the party’s panglossian media cheerleader named as Jim Murphy’s chief of staff. The Blairites assemble north of the border…

RED ON RED: Audio of Murphy v Abbott Mansion Tax Bunfight

Jim Murphy’s mansion tax raid on London to fund nurses in Scotland has descended into an almighty slanging match with Diane Abbott. The Hackney MP couldn’t even remember the Scottish Labour leader’s name on Wato today:

“I am very surprised John Murphy is making these boasts… Jim Murphy can’t surely mean he is going to expropriate money from London to Scotland… he is jumping the gun in an unscrupulous way.”

Murphy hit back:

“It’s hard to take this argument seriously when she can’t even remember my name… I am leader of the Scottish Labour party, not Diane. I don’t have to consult Diane Abbott… I don’t have to clear things with Ed Miliband.”

Shots fired!

Breaking: Jim Murphy is Scottish Labour’s Leader

Jim Murphy

Labour’s Scottish branch office has a new manager. A rare victory for a Blairite in Ed Miliband’s Labour Party…

Jim Murphy to Pete Wishart: "F**k Off, F**k Off, F**k Off"

The red mist descended for Labour’s Jim Murphy as he saw SNP MP Pete Wishart counting Scottish Labour MPs taking part in the spare room subsidy vote this afternoon.

Guido is told Murphy approached Wishart and told him to: “f**k off, f**k off, f**k off”. SNP sources are bewildered as to what might have sparked Murphy’s f-bombing because the pair have “not had words today, not this week, not this month”. Take it outside, lads…

CBS Sub-Title Jim Murphy in Glasgow

jim-murphy-cbs

Via John Stevens

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