Corbyn and Labour are peddling the idea that there are vast numbers of empty foreign-owned properties across London. Awkward truth bullet: the experts say this trope is a myth. The overwhelming majority of overseas-owned property is rented on the UK market or occupied by the owner’s family members. As for new builds, an LSE report commissioned by London mayor Sadiq Khan last year found less than 1% are so-called ‘buy to leave’ investments. There is “almost no evidence” that luxury properties in ‘gentrified’ areas are bought up and kept empty.

As Neal Hudson of housing market researchers Resi Analysts explains:

“[Foreign buyers are] not ultra-wealthy overseas Russian oligarchs or from Middle Eastern oil money. There are quite a lot of people who are using mortgage debt from south-east Asia to buy…  It’s the newly emerging middle classes in Asia getting in on this, who are not any wealthier or poorer than those [British] first-time buyers looking to buy.” 

Yolande Barnes, director of Savills world research department, says:

“Foreign buyers are often the focus in discussions about the housing crisis, but really they are only one element in an incredibly complicated picture. Without them investing in properties at the top end, we would not have been able to fund very much social or affordable housing since the financial crash.”

The LSE research found buying a home to leave it empty was almost at the bottom of purchasers’ priorities. As Guido said yesterday this is populist left-wing virtue signalling from Corbyn. The Grenfell victims can be accommodated without his fake expropriations of empty foreign properties…

During the election campaign, Labour MPs expecting the imminent demise of Jezza split into two groups. There was a pro-Yvette Cooper faction, who heaped praise on their candidate in private and on Twitter, rehired former staff and paid for sponsored posts on Facebook in support of Yvette. She was the overwhelming favourite among the PLP, now she is grovelling to Corbyn for a place in his Shadow Cabinet…

A “Stop Cooper” faction also emerged, with Chuka Umunna letting it be known he wanted to run. He got Remain campaign chief Will Straw on board and allies talked him up as the British Macron. Now, much to the amusement of the Corbynistas, Chuka is going on bended knee to Jez asking for a job. Stephen Kinnock also let colleagues know he was up for running. On the Corbyn side, Emily Thornberry was touted as a potential left-wing candidate if Jezza had to go. Disloyal Clive Lewis got fellow Corbyn-sceptics Owen Jones and Paul Mason on board and planned to run so long as he held his seat. Tom Watson waited in the wings for Corbyn’s resignation. As WikiGuido recounts in the new edition of Spectator Life, all these ambitious moderates were sharpening their knives, now Jez is safe and laughing…

Jeremy Corbyn is here to stay, so below Guido teaches you how to speak like a true believer with our dictionary of Corbynista slang. The officer class of Jezza’s youth wing communicate online and in real life in a hybrid Islington-East London-socialist dialect. You may have noticed this lexicon appearing in your Twitter feed. Now you too can speak like a trendy young Corbynista…

Melt (n) derogatory

1. Labour moderate / member / activist / journalist / pollster who is perceived to be a non-Corbynista.
2. Someone who disagrees with your political opinions.
3. An idiot.

E.g. Alt-left journalist Aaron Bastani: “You are an absolute melt Neil Coyle.”

Slug (n) derogatory

1. A harsher term than “melt” used to describe serious enemies of the revolution.
2. Term of abuse aimed at evading sanction from the Labour compliance unit.

E.g. Jon Lansman protege Max Shanly: “Chris Grayling is a massive slug.”

Derivation contested. Some Labour etymologists believe it derives from communist ideology, which encourages the dehumanisation of political opponents. Others say it comes from David Brent in The Office.

(to) Salt (v)

1. The act of berating a political opponent online.
2. What a Corbynista does to a slug.

E.g. “Bastani salted that slug.”

Jolyon (n) derogatory

1. An upper middle class male member of the Labour Party whose perceived privilege prevents him from participating in the Corbyn project.

E.g. Former Corbyn spinner Matt Zarb-Cousin: “I’m not a Corbyn staffer any more you weird Jolyon.”

Derivation: Coined in justifiable tribute to tedious Twitter QC Jolyon Maugham. Slightly more unfair on former Labour spinner Jolyon Green.

(the) Absolute boy (n)

1. A Labour figure enjoying legendary status among Corbynistas.
2. Jeremy Corbyn himself.

E.g. Pro-Corbyn journalist Abi Wilkinson on Newsnight: “Jeremy Corbyn is the absolute boy.”

(to) Absolutely see off (v), (to) Body (v)

1. To defeat your opponent comprehensively in a political debate.

E.g. Corbynista Twitter account Hywel Roberts: “Dan Hodges absolutely seen off.”

Skipper (n) sarcastic, derogatory

1. A sarcastic phrase used to describe a Labour member or journalist disliked by Corbynistas.

E.g. Matt Zarb-Cousin to Chris Deerin: “You don’t understand politics anymore skipper.”

All the best, Take care, Love to the family (phrases)

1. Sarcastic phrases to be used when ending a conversation with a political opponent on Twitter.
2. The Corbynista equivalent of a mic drop.

Oh, Jeremy Corbyn (lyric)

1. Semi-official Corbynista anthem sung to the tune of Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes.
2. Watch here.

This’ll be helpful when the revolution comes…