Farewell Jamieson and Tristram

Turns out Jamie is not his real name:

The Chancellor of the Exchequer has this day appointed Jamieson Ronald Reed to be Steward and Bailiff of the Manor of Northstead. 

The Chancellor of the Exchequer has this day appointed Tristram Julian William Hunt to be Steward and Bailiff of the Three Hundreds of Chiltern.

Who says Labour lost touch with its base…

Revealed: The Sweariest MP on Twitter

Outgoing Jamie Reed is the rudest MP on Twitter, using 20 swear words in 2016 according to analysis by Polimonitor. Hopefully he can chill out a bit when he leaves parliament in a couple of weeks. No surprise that Michael Dugher is up there, nor Nicholas Soames who has a penchant for calling people “chateau bottled nuclear powered ocean going sh*ts”. Jess Phillips and John Woodcock are some of the most potty mouthed. Almost as if the Corbyn-hating Labour moderates are angry with the world…

Jamie Reed Goes Nuclear

Jamie Reed, a two term MP best known for cracking bad jokes on Twitter, is resigning as an MP. He is off to work as a lobbyist for Sellafield. As a no holds barred anti-Corbynista he can see which way the wind is blowing politically. Aged only 43, he has chosen to make some money rather than battle in opposition for the rest of his working life…

He of course says  “This decision has got absolutely nothing to do with Jeremy Corbyn. On a personal level I’ve got a very cordial relationship.” Yeah, right…

Given how poorly Labour are polling currently, Reed’s Copeland seat looks fairly marginal. The Tories were only 2,000 behind. Could UKIP steal votes from both Labour and the Tories? This will be Nuttall’s first test. If Labour lose the by-election Corbyn will be back under intense pressure…

Labour MP Jamie Reed Quits

Click image to enlarge

By-election! Majority just 2,000…

Jamie Reed Apologises to the People of Britain

Labour MP Jamie Reed:

“I apologise to every man, woman and child in this country who needs a Labour government.”

‘Hostile’ Labour MPs Find Another List

“Found in the tea room” by Labour moderate Jamie Reed tonight…

N.b. This is a parody, obviously.

Jamie Reed on Labour and The Simpsons

Labour MP Jamie Reed compares his party’s troubles to an episode of the Simpsons:

“As he bounces from the jagged rocks, Homer becomes increasingly injured with each fall… hitting every tree and rock protruding from the cliff face as he descends… A helicopter winches Homer out, slamming his head against the side of the gorge several times in the process…

It’s this scene that most accurately describes life in the Labour Party right now… It goes something like this: sovereignty of the Falkalnd Islands [bump], raising money for the Stop the War Coalition [crunch], campaigning against party policy alongside CND [smash]… Gerry Downing [smash], Mark Serwotka’s deselection joy [crunch], Ken Livingstone [smash, crunch, smash]. You get the picture.”

Labour MP Jamie Reed on Miliband’s Fabulist Legacy

Labour MP Jamie Reed on Miliband’s fabulist legacy

“… Ed’s principal bequest to the party: a fabulist mind set. When considering the wreckage left by his leadership, I am reminded of Hunter S Thompson’s description of the brutal defeat of the American new-left at the hands of Richard Nixon. In Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Thompson described the 1960s West Coast spirit that shaped this movement: “There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning…”

Ed’s conviction that he would win was absolute. With faith in the face of reason and fact, the doubts of Labour MPs were never entertained: fabulism ran riot. … At a time when even Syriza has accepted the suffocating economic realities of our time, Ed’s fabulism can no longer be indulged. This magical thinking has already had its three strikes: its rejection by the British people at the general election, its embodiment in Jeremy Corbyn as a clearly unelectable potential Labour leader (a candidacy facilitated by Ed’s legacy) and the point-blank refusal of some sections of the party to listen to what the public and Labour voters are telling us about “welfare” spending. This isn’t simply a refusal to compromise with the electorate; it’s a refusal to compromise with reality.”

Quote of the Day

Labour MP Jamie Reed sugar coats it:

“Let’s be clear about what happened to Labour and the country on May 7: it was an absolute f*cking disaster.

If anyone in our party seeks to deny the scale of this defeat, they should seek immediate help. If others also seek to claim that they did not see this defeat coming, they too should check themselves in. This defeat was avoidable. A weak government was there for the taking, yet Labour never shifted the needle. As painful as our defeat has proven to be, anyone on the centre-left feeling surprised should probably leave politics now.”

Jamie Reed Bottles Brillo Rematch

Jamie Reed was invited back onto the Daily Politics today to finish yesterday’s clusterf**k NHS interview:

He declined.

In fact, Labour refused to put anyone up to talk about the NHS on today’s programme.

Instead BBC reporter Iain Watson was forced to explain their policy position to viewers.

Labour’s “NHS week” is going so well they are running away from the chance to talk about it…

Jamie Reed Wins Worst Interview of the 2015 Campaign, So Far

Self-proclaimed Labour funny man Jamie Reed had a toe-curling outing on the Daily Politics. He was only saved from death by smugness by the live feed going down…

And here is the whole interview in its terrible glory:

Seen Elsewhere

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Quote of the Day

Expelled Tory MP, Richard Benyon, on the short three-day Programme Motion for the Withdrawal Agreement Bill:

“Whether you had three days, three weeks or three months debating this, you would not hear one original argument that we hadn’t otherwise heard in this process…”


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